Escorting to pay for a course/quick cash?

[WantABetterLife]

There's a career path I want to go down but I can only get there if I have £1500 for the course. And I know I will get employed quickly as these skills from the course are really sought after.

I'm so poor. I have a 3 year old getting 15 hours free childcare. She will get 30 hours next term but I still pay for 10 hours on top per week so I can do all the required hours at my job. My partner won't help me financially despite earning so much more than me. He pays rent in his HA flat with dirt cheap rent in London. He also owns a flat and is a landlord bringing in a decent amount.

Im mid 20's with a lack of skills and education. Medicore gcses, poor A levels but good grades in my Access Course but its not a recognised qualification. Highest level of education is level 4, so 1st year of university. Worked in retail and call centres but only part time and I haven't had a consistent work history especially lately as I have a child.

I feel like I have too much pressure. Debts to repay, childcare costs and I hate the job I'm currently in (call centre). I have no savings, no pension and no prospects I sometimes think of ending it all.

If I make money from escorting only in the short term, I can buy the course and do a job I actually enjoy where I can move up the ranks and earn well.

I want to leave my "partner" but obviously I can't or I'll be homeless- no family to help and no money for a deposit or to move my stuff so I'm stuck here. I'm in the council's waiting list and bidding every week but I never get chosen. It's been 3 years.

[WantABetterLife]

Have you completed AAT level 2 OP?

I didn't complete it, I had to drop out half way. Only took 2 exams, but still have membership from this year and all my books which I've been through thoroughly. What do I put on my CV though. Can't write I dropped out because partner wouldn't watch DD so I could attend college. Oh and I asked college if I could study from home and they said NO.

[AssignedNorthern]

Say you are part way through completing level 2 and want to gain some practical experience.

[PoliticalBiscuit]

Your child is 3. Can I just say I know how hard it is at that age, they are so reliant on you and need so much from you. And take so much time and energy from your day.

But what you can get from them is a little bit of space, because their world is so small - as long as you are in it, they are content and loved and happy.

Now, right now is the time to rapidly improve your life. All your child needs is you in their arms - not the house, not near their school, not friends. Mum.

Get hold of absolutely every body. Tell them the truth. Show them your desperation. Ask for help. Work with them. Do everything. This time next year you will look back, and know that with the support of your GP, HV, Womans Aid etc you are independant. Living a full, rich life with your girl, ready for her to start school school. You can be free, full, happy - and on a permanent journey towards a rich fulfilling life.

You wont look back and ever think, thank God I stayed in that house all those years with that cunt. You wont look back and say "Great that I prostituted myself, that's how life really turned around."

That's how women die - it's how they turn to drugs to bury pain, it's how they get stuck in the spiral of hate with their partners. It's further down the pit to climb out of - not further out of it.

Call everyone - make the leap - don't look back.

[WantABetterLife]

I tried to get an apprenticeship but I was told that I need level 2 AAT and current employment. People who told me said with my gaps due to childcare that I would struggle as there are better candidates.

[WantABetterLife]

Is it worth phoning a few accountancy firms?
I have the equivalent of 112 UCAS points on the new tariff.

[WantABetterLife]

I sounds easy to talk to people but it's really not. My family think he's taking care of me. I'm ashamed.

[whiteworld]

The main problem is your partner. He should be suporting you and his dc. I'd split up with him and go after him for child maintenance.

I'd not advise escorting. Think of the risks - to your safety, and your mental and physical health.

[AssignedNorthern]

If you can try and go direct to the small local accountancy firms, just send in a CV and covering letter. If you are North East area let me know, I'd be happy to help with your CV and getting it to the right people.

[WitchDancer]

In all honesty a level 4 AAT won't get you a job without experience. I think you're better off applying to accountancy practices to see if they have any jobs available. It's going to be hard though - I get at least 6 CV's on my desk every week, many of them offering their services for free to gain experience. Good luck!

[Barelyscathed]

You should exhaust every other option op before even considering escorting. You said you don't really want to do it so I'd advice not to even consider it. It might be quick cash but it takes a certain mentality to do it and I doubt any sw walks away unscathed, It's also quite hard to stop once you get into it.

Take a step back op, if you want to leave your partner then feature that in your plan.
Bide your time and squirrel money away if you can.

[LIZS]

Can you not find a placement which will fund your qualification, apprenticeship etc. Even temping in accountancy/tax/finance will give you relevant experience while you earn.

[morningconstitutional2017]

Please don't do escorting. Your customers have paid for you as though you are just a piece of meat and they can do whatever they want with you. That has to be a road to even deeper desperation and unhappiness and you don't need that. Lots of sensible suggestions are on here.

[Fabaunt]

I’d say this is more a domestic violence issue than a you issue op. You need to get away from him. You won’t be homeless. You’re just scared and that’s ok. Contact women’s aid for a chat x

[anxiousbundle]

@WantABetterLife I'm sorry you're in this situation, I think it sounds like you're an amazing mother and just want a good life for you and your child. (Which every good person deserves!)

Regarding childcare, is there anyway you would be interested in training to become a TA? It would be school hours so you're always there for your daughter before and after school (if you're lucky, you maybe even be able to find work in the same school!). A lot of people start out as a parent volunteer to gain experience and some schools will even pay for the training if they see potential. Also a level 3 diploma in Teaching assistance is often just under a grand (depending on sales/different courses etc).

You could potentially save that grand by budgeting really tightly for a few months or asking your a-hole partner for a small loan. You could also do your volunteering in that time to gain a good amount of experience.

If you're dead set on the course you want to do and can't get a loan, I don't think escorting is a great option. If it has to be sex work- can you cam instead?

[mummmy2017]

If you told HA about everyone being landlords, then if your made homeless would you not get a flat?
I have no idea if this would happen but it may be worth going to CA to see.
Plus you would get CS. So could be with getting advice too see, as I think you would save more not going down the other root.

[Pk37]

You have family , try and move in with them.
This is not a life .
What dad/ partner will not help to better your future ?
I would be telling them the truth before selling myself

[Alpacanorange]

You are in an abusive relationship, financial abuse at least if you really believe the answer to your problems is selling yourself for sex. Contact women’s aid.

[LittleMissA]

Do you still have your books etc from level 2? You can contact Kaplan etc to just go to their centre for the exams, prices vary between £50-100 per exam usually. You can buy second hand books on ebay. I have the final level of AAT to finish and this is what i'm doing. I just email them when I'm ready to sit an exam, they send available dates, as long as your AAT membership is up to date you can pay and book in for the exam.

[shortlongterm]

I'd suggest massage with happy ending?

[hazell42]

Please dont feel ashamed. Tell someone today. Start to make that break. Even if all you do us talk to samaritans. You are clearly bright and ambitious and are capable of making a success of your life for yourself and your child.
Your partner is a chain around your neck tying you to your current life.
Cut him loose as soon as you can and enjoy the life you build for yourself.
Good luck

[OurChristmasMiracle]

First of all get down to the council. Tell them he is financially and emotionally abusive and this is causing you to feel Suicidal. Speak to women’s aid too. Get out of there!

Have you tried looking into internships? This is how I got back into work after years out of work and without official qualifications due to domestic abuse/ violence.

If your close by St Mungos in addition to homelessness and hostels also have a recovery college and a skills and employment team who may be able to help.

Escorting is not the way to go. Please don’t feel pressured into being sexually exploited

[loldolly]

Hi OP! I’m an accountant and just wanted to put some ideas out.

Firstly why are you getting turned down for loans? Sorry if I’ve missed why, this could actually affect you gaining membership to accounting bodies so do check if it’s because of unpaid loans etc. Some jobs also won’t hire you if you don’t have a clear credit score (especially financial services etc) don’t want to put a downer on it but be careful on investing time and money if it won’t work out.

Secondly, firms will employ you even with only gcse especially if you’ve shown an interest in accountancy which it looks like you have. I phoned a firm up and they hired me because I’d already passed one exam. I would phone lots up and say I started aat but feel like work experience would really help bring the subject to life.

Thirdly you can sit aat at home without a course and book the exams yourself. The exams obviously cost money but you can do this so may well be worth you going back and sitting your level 2 and going back to my second point above.

All the best. Ps also to be a member of an accounting body you have to follow certain ethical rules and act professional at all times. If you were to escort and this were to be found out you could end up being struck off anyway. So basically don’t do that.

Lastly, have a long term plan to get life back on track. You will be ok. It doesn’t all have to happen tomorrow. Take step by step so maybe this week just phone some firms. Next week phone some more etc.

[Floomph]

You need to contact Women's Aid. I promise doing so won't result in them calling SS and you losing your child. You need to lean on the appropriate agencies/charities for support right now and start from there.

If you go into escorting, you sound vulnerable enough that it would be highly damaging and you will get stuck in it. It will only make your life 10x worse.

[Floomph]

All the best. Ps also to be a member of an accounting body you have to follow certain ethical rules and act professional at all times. If you were to escort and this were to be found out you could end up being struck off anyway. So basically don’t do that.

I think this needs highlighting!

[Gedge77]

You dont need an expensive course to do AAT. Buy the books from Amazon and sit the exams as a external candidate.