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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Escorting to pay for a course/quick cash?

91 replies

WantABetterLife · 05/02/2019 10:15

There's a career path I want to go down but I can only get there if I have £1500 for the course. And I know I will get employed quickly as these skills from the course are really sought after.

I'm so poor. I have a 3 year old getting 15 hours free childcare. She will get 30 hours next term but I still pay for 10 hours on top per week so I can do all the required hours at my job. My partner won't help me financially despite earning so much more than me. He pays rent in his HA flat with dirt cheap rent in London. He also owns a flat and is a landlord bringing in a decent amount.

Im mid 20's with a lack of skills and education. Medicore gcses, poor A levels but good grades in my Access Course but its not a recognised qualification. Highest level of education is level 4, so 1st year of university. Worked in retail and call centres but only part time and I haven't had a consistent work history especially lately as I have a child.

I feel like I have too much pressure. Debts to repay, childcare costs and I hate the job I'm currently in (call centre). I have no savings, no pension and no prospects I sometimes think of ending it all.

If I make money from escorting only in the short term, I can buy the course and do a job I actually enjoy where I can move up the ranks and earn well.

I want to leave my "partner" but obviously I can't or I'll be homeless- no family to help and no money for a deposit or to move my stuff so I'm stuck here. I'm in the council's waiting list and bidding every week but I never get chosen. It's been 3 years.

OP posts:
Confusedbeetle · 05/02/2019 10:46

Please please don't do this, or gamble, or get payday loans. All of these will lead to unhappiness. You will be in a worse place

hazell42 · 05/02/2019 10:52

Definitely check out the open university. Their support is tremendous. You will be able to get a student loan and they are higly respected in the business and academic community.
You can study fron home at a time that suits you. I have also found their pastoral support amazing.
They do accountancy stuff you so could come out with a degree without having to endanger yourself and be In a position to tell your boyfriend to shove his housing association flat up his arse

Original poster
WantABetterLife · 05/02/2019 10:54

A quick Google found quite a few providers for that course willing to do monthly fees. Check your options carefully

I spoke to one of the course providers and you pay a monthly fee with 0% interest but you need to pass their loan checks first. I failed it.

OP posts:
Original poster
WantABetterLife · 05/02/2019 10:56

With student finance you can only get so many years of funding. I've used up my 2 years ad I failed my second year twice so only have CertHE which is useless and 1 year of funding left but that would have to have been for my 3rd year of my course.

OP posts:
Original poster
WantABetterLife · 05/02/2019 10:57

I tried matched betting after DD was born. I used up all the intro offers and managed to pay for driving lessons and a second hand car.

Are there still good offers left?

OP posts:
hazell42 · 05/02/2019 10:58

With the ou you wouldn't need to do a credit check. You would get a student loan which would cover all your tuition fees and a bit extra and you would come out with a much better qual

Do that and keep yourself safe. I have been in your position and know it is shit but you have the will to get out, and so you will get out.

Original poster
WantABetterLife · 05/02/2019 10:59

I was doing AAT Level 2 at college but had to drop out because "partner" didn't bother to come home on time after work to watch DD. I still have my books, they're from this year and I've been through all the content to prepare me for level 3.

OP posts:
Bombardier25966 · 05/02/2019 10:59

You get course length +1, so you've got two years of funding left. Are there any mitigating circumstances for the years you failed? If so get evidence and you can get them disregarded.

hazell42 · 05/02/2019 11:00

The rules on student loans have changed. Speak to someone at student finance and speak to the ou. They will definitely help you

Original poster
WantABetterLife · 05/02/2019 11:00

Is the loan system different with the OU? it's not funded by student finance?

OP posts:
Bombardier25966 · 05/02/2019 11:00

Why not just get the textbooks for levels 3 and 4 and self study?

Original poster
WantABetterLife · 05/02/2019 11:01

I put in extenuating circumstances for failing my second year the second time and should have said I started a univetsity course the year before and dropped out because I wanted o change the sunject

OP posts:
Bombardier25966 · 05/02/2019 11:02

The loan system is not different with OU. SFE have had the course length +1 rule for years.

Bombardier25966 · 05/02/2019 11:03

Are there extenuating circumstances for the other starts? You can apply for disregards more than once.

AuntieStella · 05/02/2019 11:05

If you are wedded to this idea, then I doubt we can talk you out of it.

Never forget that if your partner finds out, you may be out on your ear on no notice.

Could you try a different route to move forwards. Shelter for housing advice, and Women's Aid on how to leave an abusive relationship. Because you have described financial abuse, and thatmay or may not be the whole picture.

Princessmushroom · 05/02/2019 11:05

Another vote for matched betting. I learned from Emma Drew

Original poster
WantABetterLife · 05/02/2019 11:06

I really don't want to have sex with strangers for money and I'll do anything to avoid things coming to that. I just feel like I have no other options

OP posts:
Original poster
WantABetterLife · 05/02/2019 11:07

No extenuating circumstances for dropping out of 1st year of first university course. I was depressed but I don't want a massive loan on my back.

OP posts:
Original poster
WantABetterLife · 05/02/2019 11:12

Studying the course is something to think about so is the OU.

Course books must cost what around £300 for both levels. Plus exam fees on top

OP posts:
Original poster
WantABetterLife · 05/02/2019 11:12

I'll get in touch with shelter but not sure I'll contact womensaid. I really don't want them to alert social services.

OP posts:
userschmoozer · 05/02/2019 11:22

Womens Aid don't automatically alert SS.

AssignedNorthern · 05/02/2019 11:22

Have you completed AAT level 2 OP?

I wonder if that would be enough to get you in at a very junior level with an employer that would fund the rest of your training?

Hollywhiskey · 05/02/2019 11:24

Why don't you get on an apprenticeship to do AAT? My firm would rather hire people with no experience and train them up (AAT and later ACA) than hire someone with no experience who studied AAT at home. I think our requirement is UCAS points which surely you would have if you have completed an Access course.
This way the course would be paid for, you'd get work experience and a salary to train along with paid time off for study and exams.

AssignedNorthern · 05/02/2019 11:27

Exactly what Holly said.

The firm i work for also prefer to train junior staff from scratch, and fund training through the apprenticeship scheme.

Bumblebee39 · 05/02/2019 11:28

If you leave you will not be on the streets. The council will have 188 duty to you (emergency housing duty) while they investigate. Social services can help if you become homeless out of hours until the council opens. Then if you are on your own you would be entitled to benefits if you are not working. Job centres have a small pool of money to help people back into work so may be able to help you with course costs. Alternatively if you are working, you should be able to save for the course fees eventually (or fix any credit rating issues for the loan). Please do not think prostitution is a choice. Social services would not view this well, and then you really might lose your child.

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