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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be revolted by husband swearing at 9 week old baby

128 replies

Fate32 · 04/02/2019 23:45

I heard my husband swearing at our nine week old baby because she had a bit of reflux, AIBU to be revolted by this?

OP posts:
LovingLola · 04/02/2019 23:46

Why do you even have to ask???

eurgh · 04/02/2019 23:48

Well it depends on what he said....??

IncrediblySadToo · 04/02/2019 23:49

Depends on the context really and whether he was swearing about the situation or swearing AT her.

Rtmhwales · 04/02/2019 23:50

I dunno, I told DS he was being absolutely f'ing ridiculous once. I was at the end of my tether about the situation and tired, just venting really. I didn't mean it though.

rededucator · 04/02/2019 23:52

Did he say 'oh for fuck sake' when getting covered in vomit or did he call your DC a little cunt? There's a bit of a difference

coppercolouredtop · 04/02/2019 23:54

Agree with red

What's the context?

Ribbonsonabox · 04/02/2019 23:55

Depends on context.. I shouted 'why wont you just shut the fuck up' once at my son when he was 2 weeks old because he had been crying pretty much solidly day and night.... I'm ashamed of it but obviously he didnt understand and wont remember... babies can be very intense especially your first.

So I'd say it depends... does he regret it? was he just very stressed, was it an accident and not a genuine expression of anger towards the baby?
He needs to take ownership of it and try to implement calming strategies if hes getting this stressed.

If hes trying to pass it off as nothing then I would be angry and worried.

FSPea · 04/02/2019 23:55

Don't be ridiculous. A baby that age can't understand swearing. I'm sure I said "shut the fuck up!" to mine more than once in the middle of the night, exhausted and at my wit's end.

BusySnipingOnCallOfDuty · 04/02/2019 23:55

Ex was rough with our newborn, and called her the c word. Used to call his son and me and other people (behind their backs) the c word.

Its not right, Its not OK.

MrsTerryPratcett · 04/02/2019 23:55

I agree that context is everything. Harsh tone and shouting at a baby are far worse than swearing about something.

Loftyswops988 · 04/02/2019 23:59

all about the context!

SushiMonster · 05/02/2019 00:00

Depends

In a nice baby voice “oh you little fucker, you’ve just pulled all over me” whilst caring gently for the baby. Ok.

Shouting or using a harsh tone of voice and handling abruptly - not ok.

Howhot · 05/02/2019 00:02

Context op ...

TakemedowntoPotatoCity · 05/02/2019 00:02

What did he say?

  1. oh for fuck's sake - not great, but forgivable

  2. stupid fucking whiney little bitch - LTB.

Original poster
Fate32 · 05/02/2019 00:15

He said to her "oh for f* sake (then her name)" he had only been looking after her for a few minutes and we get plenty of sleep so no exhausted sleep deprived parents here.

OP posts:
Ribbonsonabox · 05/02/2019 00:16

What has he said about it? Is he mortified or is he acting like it's fine?

Justaboy · 05/02/2019 00:17

I wonder if its a type of stress?. Most all men have it seems these days very little knowledge of what its like to have a baby around espically newborn's course its quite exciting and all that but as can be seen with mums who are at their end of thier sleepless tether I very much suspect that too rubs off on the father.

We've just had a new born in the family and some friends of mine have been around when young un's been here they seem to think and react like shes some sort of alien being! well thats their reaction:!

And i let fly a few choice words when her majesty honked all her milk bottle feed over a nice clean shirt the only one i had around and was just about to go out in .

Nothing that serious mind!.

AGHHHH · 05/02/2019 00:18

That's not great obviously but I wouldn't say it's "swearing at a baby". It's more venting.

worriedwinfred · 05/02/2019 00:19

Reflux babies can be hard. It can be a struggle. New dad's srruggle too but people aren't as quick to check on them as they are the mum.
While it's not great what he said is be inclined to cut him some slack but make sure he knows it's totally not acceptable!

PerspicaciaTick · 05/02/2019 00:20

At the moment your DD won't know or care about swearing, so long as he spoke in a calm way and continued meeting her needs. A FFS wouldn't concern my unduly at this stage.
But he has to know that it is not a good habit to get into - because one day it will come back and bite him on the arse.

Member869894 · 05/02/2019 00:46

I think you are massively overreacting

Loopylou6 · 05/02/2019 00:46

YabVu

Redglitter · 05/02/2019 00:53

Massive over reaction. He didnt swear at her as such it sounds more like exasperation. Revolted seems a bit much

PyongyangKipperbang · 05/02/2019 00:55

He swore and she was there, very different to swearing at her.

If you manage to make it to the end of her first year without doing the same you will be unique in the world of parenting.

halfwitpicker · 05/02/2019 00:58

He's probably knackered and had enough.