To be revolted by husband swearing at 9 week old baby

[Fate32]

I heard my husband swearing at our nine week old baby because she had a bit of reflux, AIBU to be revolted by this?

[StoppinBy]

In the instance you describe I think most parents would be guilty and it's no big deal.

Our second was a shitty sleeper and I probably said more times than I can remember 'oh, for fucks sake stop waking up, I can't get up any more, I am too tired, fuckity fuck fuck fuck' as I dragged my exhausted arse out of bed then gently picked him up, fed him and gently kissed his sweet little head as I tucked him back in to bed..... just to do it all over again in an hour or so.

If that 's disgusting then guilty as charged but it's not something that feel too bad about to be honest.

[ComeMonday]

I used to use swear words in my kids’ presence all the time until they were at least six months old. Five and eight years later I don’t see any permanent damage. You need to grow a bit of and thicker skin and remember the baby is your DH’s too.

[Topseyt]

I was certainly guilty of more than the odd expletive when being puked on for the umpteenth time that day. It was just venting. It wasn't swearing at my baby.

None of my children seem to have been scarred for life by it.

Obviously we weren't there to judge the situation, but from what you have written here it sounds as though you may be overreacting.

[Bouncingbelle]

I used to sing lullabies to mine about how i was going to throw them out the window if they didnt stop screaming etc in a gentle voice to the tune of rock a bye baby. It kept me sane but anyone listening would ptobably have been horrified.

[MrsTerryPratcett]

'oh, for fucks sake stop waking up, I can't get up any more, I am too tired, fuckity fuck fuck fuck' as I dragged my exhausted arse out of bed then gently picked him up, fed him and gently kissed his sweet little head as I tucked him back in to bed..... just to do it all over again in an hour or so.

Are you me? That is exactly the script.

There's even a book Go The Fuck To Sleep that DH and I had.

[HenweeArcher]

I must say ‘oh do fuck’s sake DC’ to my 5 month old most days. It’s not said with malice or aggression, I’m just expressing my frustration at extreme sleep deprivation or having to do a whole outfit change (him or me) because of all the vomit.

This makes him sound like a terrible baby, he isn’t. He is the smiliest, happiest little boy and I love him like crazy.

[HenweeArcher]

See also the song: ‘Oh (DC) we found you in the bin, if you don’t stop crying we’ll put you back in’ which is a firm favourite in our house 😂

[Redglitter]

See also the song: ‘Oh (DC) we found you in the bin, if you don’t stop crying we’ll put you back in’ which is a firm favourite in our house

That made me laugh more than it should have 😂😂😂

[HenweeArcher]

Red I think it’s based on an episode of Plebs

[SD1978]

So she picked all over him, and he said, 'for fucks sake charlotte'? Sorry/ but serious over reaction. He swore at the situation, not specifically the baby. If you're disgusted by this at 9 weeks old, I'd say you guys are in trouble. I said the same when I got peed on the first time- it's a father standard (if uncouth) phrase when people do something that suprised you. There's no real malice behind it in the context you've said for the majority of people.

[sleepylittlebunnies]

Watch Samuel L Jackson reading the bedtime story; Go the fuck to sleep on YouTube. It’s hilarious.

[zippey]

Sounds like you need to cut him some slack. Everyone swears at their children at that age. It’s very stressful but hopefully should get better. Be nice to each other.

[OwlBeThere]

I used to sit and say in the sweetest, calmest tone things that would probably make you call SS on me OP. It was my way of venting my frustration at lack of sleep, lack of time where there wasn't someone touching me and my sore boobs, back and arms from hours of feeding etc.
The most memorable was when dd2 shat all over my bed in the 3 mins her nappy was off one night and I called a 'cretinous creature from hell'.
I don't think i scarred any of my children for it.

[Coyoacan]

It depends on the tone he used.

[AintNobodyHereButUsReindeer]

Yabu, sorry. Anyone who hasn't sworn in the context you described is a saint.

[PotteringAlong]

You’re being ridiculous here. I’ve definitely don’t that. It’s 3.30am. Nights like this are made for saying that.

[IWouldBeSuperb]

Like this, Bouncingbelle?

g.co/kgs/SR9LHj

[Mississippilessly]

Huge overreaction.
I shouted at DS today and felt utterly hideous because he reacted (he is 5 months). I felt awful. But I regularly sing at him that he needs to go the fuck to sleep. I may have also called him a twat.
I'm not proud of it. But sleep deprivation has awful a d I would rather sing sing sweat him than shout like I did today. I'll never ever do that again. I still feel awful about it

[Apple103]

Op my ds had colic and reflux straight after. I cant tell you the amount of times I uttered such words as your dh. I wasnt swearing at my precious baby I was just sleep deprived and hugely exhausted. My dh heard me a few times, came and took over and gave me a hug. He understood where I was coming from. What's your dh like in general?

[stopfuckingshoutingatme]

Reflux babies are hell
Nearly killed my SIL
Sorry reflux babies ! But they really are a killer For the parent

[Impatienceismyvirtue]

@HenweeArcher and @IWouldBeSuperb your posts have made my day. The Tim Minchin link had DH and I howling.

Op, you’d definitely be on the phone to SS if you’d heard the things I called my son when he was tiny and wouldn’t -fucking- sleep. He’s 18 months now and seems well-adjusted. He also seems to quite like DH and I so I don’t think we broke him or anything.

[Impatienceismyvirtue]

Oh, and he sleeps too. For the most part

[TheRedRoom]

I thought you meant he'd said "fuck you!" or something similar to the baby. I'm sure I've said "for fuck's sake, Name" more than once to my dc, including since they could talk, in the sort of context you mention. They don't swear now (aged 8 and 4). I think you may be overreacting.

[donajimena]

'Will you just shut the fucking fuck up for fucks sake? You're fed, you're clean, you have a cosy bed, you have NOTHING to complain about' I remember this well. He was probably about 7 days old. It turned out it was reflux he was complaining about but I learned to cope a lot better. It was complete and utter babyshock in the beginning.

[ThroughThickAndThin01]

Yabu. I don’t swear. Yet I did swear like that at my babies in sheer exasperation. Sometimes you need to vent. She didn’t understand him. She won’t be repeating it to grandma. He won’t still be swearing when she’s older.