AIBU to want a home birth for first baby?

[User383673]

I would NEVER have had myself down as a home birth kind of person. Have always said I would want an epidural right away. But I’ve been doing a lot of research and I am now thinking that actually a home birth might be right for me. Here are the pros and cons as I see it:

pros

Get to be at home - much nicer & more enjoyable

DH truly useless in hospitals, will probably faint

I also hate hospitals

Worried about cascade of intervention

Kept in hospital for things you wouldn’t be sent to hospital for

Guaranteed birthing pool (if I hire)

2 midwives just for you

Less likely to tear & have forceps used

cons

Slightly increased risk of poor outcome

No epidural

Maybe a bit old? (30)

Likely to end up in hospital anyway

What if it all goes wrong?

Has anyone had a home birth for a first pregnancy? Does anyone have advice / experience to share?

Thank you!

I spoke with my GP about this when we started TTC. Her advice was that if you knew you could successfully push them out with no complications, go fo it (i.e. not your first). But for a first timer there is no history of what might be, so it's best to be safe - she even went as far as suggesting that home births were being encouraged as they saved money (even with 2 midwives).

As an aside a close family friend had a home birth for her first. It didn't go well and baby didn't survive... I have no idea if the outcome would have been different had she been elsewhere. Another friend also had a home birth - planned pool, but ended up in the downstairs loo as she thought she needed a poo!!!

How come on mumsnet every other poster or their dc ‘nearly died’ in labour? It just isn’t that common!

No, but it USED to be very common. Isn't medical intervention great?

But these things are still dealt with at a home birth either by treatment at home or by a transfer to hospital. They don’t just go ‘oh the baby isn’t breathing, what a shame!’

I don't think it's a good idea. I tried to have my first at home and it turned out to be very traumatic. DS was stuck and back to back and there was no way midwives would have picked up on it. It's only after hours of pushing when I said I wanted to go to the hospital as I felt he wasn't coming did they ring an ambulance. And as soon as we got there they had to get him out straight away with forceps as his heart rate slowed down too much. And my pregnancy was incredibly low risk! If I was told even one horror story about having a home birth I wouldn't have done it but the midwives made it seem like the best thing in the world.

I have a question for the midwives and medical professionals on here.

Are there birth complications that come completely out of nowhere, with no warning signs at all?

Assuming we have a well trained, highly experienced midwife attending the birth. What are the chances of a complication arising, with no warning signs, that she's not equipped to deal with?

I could never put my baby in a position that could be dangerous whether I'd like a home birth or not

@Georgiethegorgeosgoat Every DAY in 2015, about 830 women died due to complications of pregnancy and child birth. These are mostly preventable deaths in developing countries, so not UK statistics, granted. But please don't take for granted that if we didn't have the good healthcare we are lucky to have, this would be US too.

That is why 'on mumsnet every other poster or their dc ‘nearly died’ in labour'. Because pregnancy and childbirth have always been risky. The point is they didn't actually die because we have good health care.

Source: WHO
The primary causes of death are haemorrhage, hypertension, infections, and indirect causes, mostly due to interaction between pre-existing medical conditions and pregnancy. Of the 830 daily maternal deaths, 550 occurred in sub-Saharan Africa and 180 in Southern Asia, compared to 5 in developed countries.

i could never put my baby in a position that could be dangerous whether I'd like a home birth or not

I think for low risk, second time mothers the outcomes for baby are better at home than hospital (can anyone clarify?)

And if that's true, how do you feel about that?

I had a hb aged 37 & was the best thing ever. I had continuity of care and was able to do my own thing in my own space. Did you know that by planning a hb you actually halve the chance of having a caesarean birth.....

Op save it for the second.

Read child birth threads on here in cb section.
You have no idea how your going to react to pain... The flip side to cascade of intervention is that actually, for reasons beyond your control... (ie candles, oxytocin.. And feel good humming) the large baby did get stuck....did turn.. Did come out foot first etc..

There's myriad of major risks.... Most hospitals have amazing birthing suits..

Op I could have had a water birth... I couldn't move centimetres from bed to birthing ball let alone leave the room to get into a pool!

With your second.. You will know your pain threshold.. What to expect... Etc etc ect.

At the moment your about to go into the ring with Rocky.. Blind folded with your hands tied behind your back.

@LaurieMarlow yes the research is conclusive that homebirth is safer for low risk mothers for 2nd and subsequent births.
Birth centres are the safest option for first time mothers who are considered low risk

I could never put my baby in a position that could be dangerous whether I'd like a home birth or not

I don’t think it’s as straightforward as that. If a home birth was definitely more dangerous than a hospital birth I definitely wouldn’t consider it. And I will still rule it out if any complications would make it higher risk. But when the increased risk is incredibly small, I think it’s fair to balance that against other considerations.

For example, there’s lots of evidence that for a second birth with no complications in pregnancy, home is actually safer than hospital. Does that mean you couldn’t make the decision to have a hospital birth, because it could be putting your baby in danger? Of course not! You would still get to decide that a hospital birth is right for you, even if slightly riskier, because of other factors that are important to you.

I think I like the flexibility of planning for a home birth. You can always go to hospital if it isn’t working out. But you can’t decide to go home once you’re in hospital!

Yes Laurie you’re right about second time and beyond having better outcomes at home.

I just had my 3rd baby at home. I could’ve had my first and second at home too without issue.

My local trust produces a nice graphic about home births. I don’t know how to reproduce it here so:

• 13% of the babies birthed at home were to first time Mums

• 10% of the planned home births were transferred. NO babies needed to be transferred for specialist care

Anecdotally my midwife told me that most first time Mums that do transfer do so for pain relief reasons, not just for epidurals but also because they only bring 3 canisters of gas and air and first labours tend to be longer and thus sometimes this runs out.

How many of those deaths were home births in the UK? Because unless you know that, you’re not really comparing like for like.

Sorry those stats were for 2018.

Snowmaggedon that’s a good point, I need to check out what facilities are actually available at my hospital! They may have lovely birthing suites that don’t feel overly clinical etc.

PS.. C section is often presented as the worse case scenario by medics and in birth literature.

An emergency section.. Performed when exhausted woman has been unsuccessfully labouring for hours and hours and baby needs to come out of a contracting stomach... Is not pleasant.

However a planned elc is a wonderful way to bring a baby into the world.
Having done both I found my elc to be glorious! Calm, pleasant, excellent bonding... Breast feeding well established... So do differentiate between sections as many people don't state whether it was emergency or planned elc.

User look at the post natal situation too. My hospital has lovely birthing suites but then you have to go to the post natal ward which is miserable. I think for many people the best bit about a home birth is getting to go straight to your own shower and bed after the birth!

User... The two near me have amazing birth suites like a hotel!

Best of both worlds... Like a hotel but all the facilties right there.
As said I was all up for a water birth... I couldn't get near it I couldn't move really.. It was gargantuan effort to move from bed to ball to chair.
I was told I had incredible first time birth, quick, no stitches. But I was in too much pain. I had an elc and it was fabulous second time round.

Jeez. Read the first page and wanted to say yanbu. I started with a home birth and ended up with an emergency c-section. It was a positive experience. For most of my stop start labour I was at home. The transition between teams was great. We drove in when I had thick meconium appear, they were expecting me in hospital.

Rather than aibu, which tends to host some...polarised views, check out your nhs trust resources on homebirth. Ask your community midwife. It was actually my community midwife who raised as an option, I’d ruled myself out as a late thirties mum. My area also has a brilliant Facebook group and meet-up, which was what helped us decide. Don’t let the scare stories on here freak you out xx

I think for many people the best bit about a home birth is getting to go straight to your own shower and bed after the birth

This is a huge plus in my opinion! It must make you feel better than being stuck in hospital. My poor SIL was 4 days in hospital after she gave birth to my nephew, and she was so worn down by the noise and disruption. I know there’s still a good chance I would end up in hospital anyway but would be so nice if that could be avoided.

reetgood thanks so much, excellent advice!

Op, this analogy maybe upsetting but cb can be brutal and upsetting.

Imagine yourself in an accident, your in mind blowing pain (labour is equivalent to having how many bones broken at once?)

How would you feel, scared, panicking in the worst pain of your life... Trying to get to hospital... Or simply being in birthing suite and getting to emergency room down the corridor...

Oh, and I’d lined up all the pain relief options available at home but it was a tens machine that me through to 9cm dilated. Which is when everyone realised head was a bum. I was offered option of continuing but I was knackered. They had to prise that tens machine off me as I sat up on the trolley in surgery ;)

The thing is, OP, you don’t have a crystal ball, and you can’t predict whether your labour will be straightforward or have life threatening complications.
My own second child would very definitely have died if I’d had a home birth. I’m a doctor, so I had her in a labour suite with a paediatric crash team on 24/7 standby. The labour was a full term, utterly normal, no pain relief, spontaneous delivery of an 8lb baby. But DD was almost dead, with an Apgar of 1, and required the kind of immediate intervention that midwives don’t carry and aren’t trained to provide, including intra cardiac adrenaline, three different IV anticonvulsants, intubation and ventilation, blood gases, x rays and a brain scan.
She is now in her 20’s and thriving.
In my opinion, it’s fair enough to risk your own death from major haemorrhage or amniotic fluid embolism etc, if you wish, but rather cavalier to gamble with your baby’s survival or well being. I’d also avoid stand alone midwife units unless they’re on the same hospital site as the medical staff, ie have instant access to obstetricians and paediatricians. Safety is so much more important than homely surroundings. If all goes well, you’re no worse off and can take a 6 hour discharge to head straight home afterwards.