To give him another chance after he ghosted me?

[snowydaynewc]

August last year I met a guy and we went out on 3 dates.
He dropped me back home and rang me to say he had a great time and really liked me and then I never heard from him again.
He kept me on Facebook.
A week later I noticed he kept tagging a woman in things etc.
Last week he messaged me apologising and told me the night he left me a woman who he thought was out of his league messaged him on Facebook and he began a whilwind 3 months with her but she dumped him.
He apologised and said he thought we got on well and would I give him a chance?
Should I ?

He’s not getting laid anymore...this is the only reason he’s messaged you. Forget the knobhead.

This is not a red flag. It’s a mother fucking red ribbon parade with red fireworks while a naked red man screams in your face holding a red flag while shouting red flag really loud!!!

She's out of his league but you're not?

That would be a no thank you.

You are nobody's second choice Sweetheart

it's a NO from me

Of course it's not negging, there is no compliment here, he really did drop her for someone he thought was better,

That's not negging, ffs.

2 words. Fuck no.

I write the above from bitter experience.

'Oh mate, I would but I really have to wash my hair..'

Jeez he’s a prize cock. And not in a good way. Jog on mate

Awwwww helllllllllll no

I’d go for a “new phone. Who dis?” Just to really wind him up...

I'd message saying I appreciate your honesty but I won't be anyone's back up plan, I'm worth more than that.

NO.

Sounds like he didn't dislike you BUT he thought he could do better and could continue to look whilst keeping you in the wings. You don't need rubbish like that.

Get some self respect!
What a total dick

Echoing everyone else NO!!

I've had this happen to me - a tinder date picked between me and another woman after our first date. He picked her. Four months later he came crawling back to me and I dated him for 10 months. But he was NEVER that into me it's not worth it.

Don't look back, he made his decision the first time. Tough shit for him if it was the wrong one.

I’m another one who thinks it’s negging, having just been negged this evening lol!

He had no reason to even mention the other girl but he intentionally brought her up, including the fact that he thought she was out of his league clearly making the implication that OP, in his opinion was not out of his league. “You aren’t all that great but I’ll give you a go” or I’m going to hurt your self esteem and then give you a total mixed message is the aim behind it and that to me = negging.

I’m trying to think up a witty response (I failed miserably with my negger!) for you OP but brain isn’t working.

Bottom line is you are not going to be anyone’s second best and he’s got a fucking cheek sending you this message.

I’d be tempted to just reply “Awwww god loves a trier! Obviously it’s a no but thanks for the laugh. We’re all pissing ourselves laughing here - good one 😂😂😂”.

He will hate that kind of response.

Where is your pride?

If you go back he will be aware you have no boundaries and will again dump you when someone he feels is better comes along.

Doormat tendency just isn't appealing or attractive. Only an odd man would want this in the longterm. Most will get bored.

For god sake no op. No.

I would arrange to meet him for a date, stand his arse up, then ghost him. A little bit of his own medicine might teach him not to be such an arse.

As funny as some responses potentially could be I’d probably go for the delete/block/unfriendly option else you’ll just end up caught up in weird social drama?

Guy sounds like he has poor social skills at best/is dishonest and/or manipulative/is a drama llama.

And getting bogged down in some sort of interaction with him (even if it’s “putting him in his place”) will just be a waste of time and potentially distract you from getting on with your own stuff and possibly meeting someone better.

I'm surprised at how many people don't know what negging actually is

Negging is an act of emotional manipulation whereby a person makes a deliberate backhanded compliment or otherwise flirtatious remark to another person to undermine their confidence and increase their need of the manipulator's approvalJ

Things like, your hair is pretty, but you'd suit it longer. That's a nice shirt but you don't suit thr colour, that kind of thing.

This is not negging, because he did actually dump her to go out with someone else. And yes, he thought the other woman was better, because if he didn't, he wouldn't have dumped the op. That's not negging. That's just fucking offensive.

Message back sorry I don't think we are compatible I don't just ditch people and I could never trust you good luck for the future but I deserve better lol x