To tell my friend her husband is on a dating app?

[KarmaKhameleon]

I'm devastated for her but need some perspective as I cannot decide what to do. I'm divorced, but only just getting into the idea of dating again, so recently joined a dating app on Friday night. One of the first matches was with a good friend's husband.

It was a photo he has used before eg on his LinkedIn profile, but he had altered his name. Given correct age.

What would you do? Would you confront him? Tell her? Do nothing? I have been round and round in circles. I'm trying to think of a reason why it could all be entirely innocent...could/would someone have used his picture to create their own profile without him knowing? I'm so new to all this that I don't have any sensible or plausible excuses for him! Is he just a cheating scumbag?

They have two children and have always appeared rock solid and happy. He is very successful and high flying media exec who travels a lot.

Over to you! Anyone been in any kind of similar situation please who can help?

I'd prob take a screen shot and send her that. What a horrible situation

Maybe someone has stolen his picture? I’d ask him in a horrified way in from of his wife and caution him about identity fraud.

How do you think your friend would feel about you if years down the line she finds out her husband is a cheating fucker and you knew and did nothing?

If I were you I'd meet her for a coffee and tell her (show her). If you matched with him, will he have seen you too?

Of course tell her. But take a screen shot and show her. I would be devastated at the double deception if a friend didn’t tell me.

We had a similar issue with a friend on tinder, and DH confronted him. At denied it and then panicked and spun his wife a story about it being a scammer (she doesn’t use computers or even a smart phone so believed him). Wish we had just told her first.

I'd do what SaltySeaBird said...feign innocence and make it look like you think someone's stolen his identity for now.

My friends DH had his photo lifted from FB and used as a fake profile on a dating site.

Be sure of your information before you make accusations

Happened to me - although it was her boyfriend not her husband - And she was a mum up the school who's daughter played with my daughter - i took screenshots then called her up and told her. She asked me to send them over to her.
She ended it with him and me and her have become best friends.

I’d tell her, gently, and like you say hoping that there’s some kind of innocent explanation. That’s horrible for you both but if you don’t say anything I think it’ll be worse.

If it was me I'd want my friend to tell me what she'd seen xx

Screen shot and tell her first. If it’s an old thing and he has a good reason (assuming One dc is at least 18 months...) then no harm, no foul.

Show her. I’d be unbelievably upset if you were my friend and didn’t tell me. I’d feel you were more of a friend if you saw something like this and came to me knowing I’d be devastated, rather than be devastated later and finding out you’d known. That’s a double betrayal.

Cpuld be a catfish out there using his pics - I think unfortunately it’s more likely to be him, using his own pics but a different name to avoid the possibility of getting a hit of his name on a google search, should his wife ever want to google him.
The problem with cheaters is that once warned to the fact that someone is on to them, rather than confess or stop the activity they just use it as a learning curve as to how to be even more careful in their deception.
As maybe unrealistic as it might be, I’d be plotting to set a trap (make a fake profile, lure him in, arrange to meet, then if it’s him that turns up for the date you know for sure). However, I know that in the real world we don’t all have time for such fun and frivolous sitcom style antics. In which case, I would tell her what you’ve found and let her do a bit of snooping of her own. She may even already have her suspicions.
Definitely though, as the wife, I would want to know.

Screen shot and tell her in person and in private as she will get a massive shock

I wouldn't do anything.

Screen shot, then send to her saying "i've deliberated for hours whether or not to send this, but decided that if it was my partner, i'd want to know. i registered this weekend and this was one of the first things i saw". I wouldn't tell her face to face, she's going to be devastated and this way, she can deal with it behind closed doors.

He must be a bit thick to have his photo on public display. Poor woman. She deserves to know, but you're in a horrid position.

If my friend didn't tell me I'd be furious. What a shitty thing to do.

If you've matched does that not mean you liked each other's profiles? So he knows you've seen it? X

Screen shot and send it to her explaining you signed up to dating app and this came up.

Tell her. Give her the choice to choose to confront the bastard or not. My friend told me she saw my dh of 20 years out with another women in expensive restaurant we went to on wedding anniversaries. I thanked my good friend and threw him out.

Is he even fuckable?

Send her a screen shot and say 'Have you seen this? I think someone has set up a profile in your husband name', then let her take it from there. No doubt she'd confront him and be able to tell whether he's lying by his reaction x

Honest answer, op I don't know what I'd do. Do you tell her and they split up. His doing of course not yours, but even so or Do you turn a blind eye and go with ignorance is bliss. I'm so sorry you're in this situation. It must be awful. Ridiculously.clutching at straws here but They been in an open relationship. Could they by mutual agreement for what ever reason not have sex and she's given him permission to seek it elsewhere. These types relationships do exist.

Please don't send it to her via a message. She is likely to be very upset.

Definitely screen shot and then go to tell her in person. And take biscuits.

Tell him,. Either he tells her or you do.

Very much suspect its a stolen picture. It happened to someone I know casued them a LOT of bother.

Tread carefuly