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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Reported ex for tax evasion

113 replies

Maryqueenofscot · 03/02/2019 14:55

Anyone here ever got back on an ex and reported them for something? I reported my ex-h for tax, he was self employed for years, cash in hand jobs. Before anyone says 'well done' Im well aware I did it simply to get revenge for him wanting to end the relationship, not out of some duty or for it being the right thing to do. Its all got very serious and I now regret doing it and feel terrible. I feel it was spiteful and Ive messed with his life. I was aware of what he was doing when we were together, so I cant even tell myself I did the right thing for my own peace of mind, it was purely a way to get back at him and Im having trouble dealing with that, knowing my motives and the consequences of what Ive now done.

OP posts:
4Wellness · 05/10/2020 12:27

Do they not follow up all leads then

dontdisturbmenow · 05/10/2020 12:35

Well at least you are very honest rather than finding excuses for your behaviour.

Where your morals are to be questioned is not you shopping him, it's doing so when it didn't benefit you any longer but had no qualms when it did.

Although legally you are no guilty, morally you were really as bad as him.

Hingeandbracket · 05/10/2020 12:37

@NorthernSpirit

What a nasty thing to do. I hope it comes back to bite you.
No it isn't. People should pay their taxes.
IncandescentSilver · 05/10/2020 13:17

When combined with you cheating on him and THEN seeking revenge, you really are shown in a bad light. Why not just have left him alone? You presumably benefitted from him having more money in the 9 years you were with him.

Yes, he was in the wrong, but actually going out of your way to cause trouble for him due to you not being able to have him any more is a whole other level of manipulation.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 05/10/2020 13:22

it'll hurt his kids too with his ex Maybe she'll get more money from him now! CMS will have another look at what he was paying/hiding from them!

But it has to be said: you turned a blind eye when it suited you; chose to cheat within the relationship; chose to get revenge when you felt slighted.

You aren't going to get much sympathy or understanding here!

You chose to play a Big Girl Game. Live with it!

LakieLady · 05/10/2020 13:24

Zombie thread!

CuriousaboutSamphire · 05/10/2020 13:27

Toads! THanks @LakieLady

ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE

ShebaShimmyShake · 05/10/2020 13:41

If he doesn't feel guilty about it (as opposed to being sorry he's been caught), then why should you?

ShebaShimmyShake · 05/10/2020 13:41

Oh shit, sorry.

Sushine38 · 11/02/2023 08:50

I don't know why you are worried. Tax evasion is illegal and think about this. If you were still with him, YOU would of been in trouble too! There are too many self employed getting away with this and living a lavish lifestyle whilst others work extremely hard and foot the consequences. My ex-h started his own business and I supported it. He was very good at building and construction and is a very likable character......of course will do anything for you if your paying cash for discount price and paying in crisp £50 notes. I left him 2 years ago because I suffered years of mental abuse and he had affairs since the days our children were young. And then when I had break downs he would film me and tell other people 'I was abusive' to hold his story of a sorry husband. Terrible. But thankfully most people who knew us, eventually realised is was him making me very very poorly. I finished the relationship the first time to divorce him but then stupidly after around 18mnths I took him back under the belief he was truly sorry and wanted to fix the family and start again 😫. But he came back and then after several months he it started all over again. He was having an affair with the woman he is now with (of course, she works for a bank......ideal for him) and before I found out and left him cottoned on very quickly that he was coming home with vast amounts of cash and underdeclaring it with his work mate. When I confronted him, of course he would lie about his income, affair and then make me sound like I was an idiot. When I told him I'd had enough it was over, he made me terribly sick (in the first year of lockdown) and bullied me out of my home. He has now took the marital home ( whilst the finances are going through court)....renting it out without permission to lease, moved in with her and they are now living off his cash in hand through tax evasion and having luxury holidays, he's fixing up her home now, driving a fancy car. Yet he pays his children £15 each a week and contributed nothing else to their needs. Yet he has them once a fortnight. And of course, his new woman (and her family) thinks he's amazing because she's benefitting off the back of him. Tag team together. Disgusting!! Well, I know now I was played like a fool because he came back to me to get back his "material gain".....as he 'actually to me, to my face'. What a swine. But now, he has to face it in court. His expenses have been disclosed and he's tried to blag the courts.

What I would say is don't fall for their pleads to you. He tried to with me a few months ago. He wanted to buy me out of court.......and you know why!!!!! Probably bricking it now that he's been caught lying to court. And it wouldn't surprise me one bit if she was doing the books for him because she is good with figures, you know working for the bank. Who knows? All will come out in the wash!! He tried to devastate mine and our children's lives and lied to so many people...(well of course he would, needs to cover his reputation).

Whether it was bad motives or not, we all mistakes, even I have. But never feel bad for outing a dishonest person who tried to damage your life and break your heart. I feel you. My ex husband hurt me and my children a lot because he was a selfish, greedy, narcissist who pretends he's wonderful to others. Sadly, some don't see it with the charm and money but others see him for what he really is. Hopefully, the landslide is coming. To the Construction of (MPL Bury), polish"peter and martin"

Badbadbunny · 14/02/2023 11:26

Maryqueenofscot · 03/02/2019 15:04

This was last summer, HMRC have already been in touch with him. I regret doing it now, but its too late to do anything about it. The worst thing is he's talked to me about it and Ive tried to give him advice, support but knowing all the time that Im actually the one who reported him! If I could turn back the clock I would but its gone too far. And I dont have the nerve to admit it, not that it would help anyway.

It's an ethical dilemma. But try being an accountant. By law, we are required to report clients who we suspect are involved in criminal activity such as tax evasion. But when we have reported them, then we have to act on their behalf to defend them against HMRC and try to argue that they havn't evaded tax (difficult when we've given HMRC evidence that they have!).

weegem23 · 14/11/2024 21:49

I just did it and feel amazing. Yes it was for revenge, and yes he did deserve it and no Im not sorry😂

Jc2001 · 14/11/2024 22:11

NorthernSpirit · 03/02/2019 15:19

What a nasty thing to do. I hope it comes back to bite you.

Let me guess, you do a lot of "cash in hand" work?

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