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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Reported ex for tax evasion

113 replies

Maryqueenofscot · 03/02/2019 14:55

Anyone here ever got back on an ex and reported them for something? I reported my ex-h for tax, he was self employed for years, cash in hand jobs. Before anyone says 'well done' Im well aware I did it simply to get revenge for him wanting to end the relationship, not out of some duty or for it being the right thing to do. Its all got very serious and I now regret doing it and feel terrible. I feel it was spiteful and Ive messed with his life. I was aware of what he was doing when we were together, so I cant even tell myself I did the right thing for my own peace of mind, it was purely a way to get back at him and Im having trouble dealing with that, knowing my motives and the consequences of what Ive now done.

OP posts:
CanILeavenowplease · 03/02/2019 17:50

This does not mean he is not paying taxes though, he is still liable as if the company was still operating

Wel, in my ex’s case, he has a £nil assessment with the CMS because there is no record of him paying tax at the HMRC.

But obviously, you know better Confused

Tucobenedicto · 03/02/2019 17:51

Go back and read your first post to your last..you are pathetic..you started off by saying how bad you were now you have completely turned it around on the words of some strangers...you know fine well what you did was wrong and spiteful and you would never have posted if you didn't think you were in the wrong..I can't believe how you have turned this around in such a short time....one small word...KARMA

dorisdog · 03/02/2019 18:04

We all do things we regret OP. Just move on. And he did evade tax - that's basically stealing from schools and hospitals, and people like my disabled sister! So, don't feel too terrible. You did the right thing for the wrong motive.

AnoukSpirit · 03/02/2019 18:09

Blimey, is this the same site that usually has people baying for blood about "benefit fraud" with people saying reporting someone for tax evasion - which is far more common - was in the wrong? Hmm

oldowlgirl · 03/02/2019 18:13

He deserves everything he gets - they can only find fault if he's fraudulent. Your reasons for doing it are pretty shitty but he deserves it regardless.

Blackbear10 · 03/02/2019 18:22

Are you absolutely sure it was because of your phone call?

I say that because myself and someone I know reported a person for evading tax. He was a horrible man that took great delight in fucking people over and incredibly proud of not only paying very little tax but also putting all of the business earnings/accounts into his dead relatives name.

We both reported him (didn’t know we both reported him until later on when I admitted what I’d done to her) to HMRC with evidence and it never even got looked at (this was at least three years ago we reported it) and he is still doing his dodgy dealings. It was a decent amount of money involved as well.

I find it hard to believe they would even look into your ex after just your call tbh. Either lots of people have reported him or it was nothing to do with you at all and just a coincidence.

silvercuckoo · 03/02/2019 18:58

But obviously, you know better
Yes, in this case I know better. Whether he pays tax to the HMRC or not depends on his salary / dividends balance and not on whether he closed legal entities they are drawn through or not.

FigandVanilla · 03/02/2019 19:04

Mumsnet is another planet sometimes. There’s another thread on here with a bunch of posters saying they hope a woman goes to prison for engaging in peaceful protest because ‘she broke the law’ but on this one a scummy arsehole has evaded tax and everyone is piling on the OP because her motives in reporting him for breaking the law weren’t pure enough!

newnameforthis7 · 03/02/2019 19:07
Hmm
TheBigBangRocks · 03/02/2019 19:24

I'm all for reporting tax fraud. However I'd see you just as guilty as you were happy enough to go along with it whilst benefitting from the lifestyle.

I think it's very common to be rerported by an ex. Many are happy to benefit from it at the time and it only becomes an issue after a split when they want revenge or realise it will mean lower child support.

YouLikeTheBadOnesToo · 03/02/2019 19:27

Two completely separate issues. Tax evasion is terrible. If he hadn’t committed the crime there would be nothing to investigate. He deserved to be reported.

The reason you reported him? Also terrible. It wasn’t about the crime he’d committed, you’d been more than happy to enjoy the perks. You wanted to punish & hurt him for leaving you (apparently cheating didn’t hurt him enough).

Oh and for what it’s worth, I think it’s really cowardly to not admit that it’s actually you who reported him. He’s confiding in you because he thinks he can trust you. You’ve proved categorically that he can’t.

cherry2727 · 03/02/2019 19:29

Op, you don't have to worry about what some random strangers think! Karma has a way of biting you back regardless of what the general consensus on Mumsnet is!!

When you were busy enjoying the lovely lifestyle didn't you care to encourage him to do the right thing and pay his taxes ? You cheated on him twice , he left you and then you decided that he needs to be reported as he hasn't been an outstanding citizen of society ?!! I reckon your ex has had a lucky escape ! I hope he manages to pay back what is owed to HMRC and get on with his life ! At least someone would be able to sleep at night !

RedHatsDoNotSuitMe · 03/02/2019 19:39

Blimey! I think if nothing else then you're very brave for admitting all that on here.

If you do genuinely regret what you did, I hope you can learn from it and move on.

But I'd step away from this thread now, OP, because you won't get too many admirers on here.

WomanWithAltitude · 03/02/2019 19:43

While it wasn't nice to do, it was him that chose to break the law. And this will only have negative consequences because of his own choices.

HMRC can investigate any taxpayer at any time without needing to be informed of wrongdoing.

Badbadbunny · 03/02/2019 19:45

To be honest, it sounds as if HMRC were already on to him. They can easily take 3/4/5 years to act on information provided. I can't see them acting on your report so quickly.

RangeRider · 03/02/2019 20:10

Him -
Evading tax - wrong
Enjoying profits of tax evasion - wrong
Leaving partner who cheated on him when he doesn't (presumably have kids with her) - sensible

Her:
Reporting tax evasion - right
Enjoying profits of tax evasion - wrong
Cheating on partner - wrong
Trying to get own back when partner won't accept infidelity - wrong
Being two-faced - wrong (though understandable)

I'm not too impressed with either party but, once he's paid the penalty for tax evasion, I think I'd have more time for ex. Cheating and then getting pissed off for having to pay the price - not attractive.

headinhands · 03/02/2019 20:22

You've learnt a painful lesson. Some people never learn that. The best revenge is to live well and for them to become irrelevant.

ThePants999 · 03/02/2019 20:29

I do hope karma has something special in store for you.

joanmcc · 03/02/2019 21:25

I'd not been shall we say exactly faithful, but it was a mistake and we tried to make it work, but he couldnt get past it

This is a wind up.

Catchy98 · 03/02/2019 22:02

Well I can say you are not alone in this decision, you won’t of been the first and you certainly won’t be the last. In fact I did the very same thing just earlier today. I reported my ex for tax evasion and I do not feel one bit of guilt, I know it’s still fresh but I honestly think I won’t ever feel guilty because this man deserves everything he gets.
My reason is the fact I am pregnant and was discussing the dreaded child maintenance with him, and he refuses to comply, I actually said I would have no choice but to report him, although I do not wish to go down this route. He said ‘go for it’ he thinks he is so good that he can away with it as he has been doing for so long but we will see about that. I call it karma haha!

I really don’t understand why so many people are hating on your for it though, like come on these people are crooks! There are honest, hard working individuals who do right by the law and have no choice but to pay tax (rightly so) and they are committing crime, they have every right to be caught out. Your reasons may not feel justified but in all honesty it doesn’t matter, you did the right thing. You will obviously feel bad if you are keeping this burden hidden though, perhaps think about cutting contact so you don’t feel so sly? Anyway, even if you knew about his illegal activity in the relationship, that’s what happens! When we are in love and a committed relationship, we let our lovers get away we murder (not so literally) but we keep their secrets, know about their wrong doings etc. When that committee is broken for whatever reason, feelings change and this can’t be helped. Sure, you could of just left it but I don’t think you did a bad thing and I do say well done for stepping up and highlighting fraud Wink chin up!

mrcharlie · 03/02/2019 22:10

Hmm
If someone's fiddling the books just to keep afloat then I probably wouldn't say nothing.
But, if they are openly screwing the system, sibling in my case, now in 50's hasn't paid a single penny in tax since leaving school. claimed benefits until late 20's too whilst working full time. I dream of the day when someone knocks at their door!

cherry2727 · 03/02/2019 22:35

@Catchy98 so it's ok to keep quiet about fraudulent activities because you're in love but once the person is estranged from you and not complying with your Demands you get back unto your high horse and all of a sudden you have a genuine interest in saving the tax system ?!! I am aghast !

Honestly .... I'm not sure who's lacking in morales , you or your ex? He's a selfish twat for not paying taxes and you're a diabolical and selfish Person for putting up with it during the relationship because it benefited you and now reporting him thinking you're doing a world of good! I despise people like you ! One rule when it suits you and then......!!!! Please don't kid yourself into believing that you're doing good! You have no care for the tax laws - your motive is just pure malice and his tax evasion seem to an easy target!

SandyY2K · 03/02/2019 22:45

What I was meaning was that it was a mistake, it wasnt like I was in love with this other guy, I had no feelings for him. I was prepared to try and make it work with OH but he took the chickens way out and packed his bags whilst I was out, didnt even tell me, after 9 years together!

You really lack self awareness. You were prepared to work it out? So he had to be too.

In all honesty I'm sure most people would rather not pay tax if they could get away with it.

Leaving without telling you wasn't great...but you do sound like an unpleasant individual.

ChinnyReckonn · 03/02/2019 22:49

What an interesting drip feed, almost guaranteed to make people outraged.

Gems567 · 03/02/2019 23:45

Catchy
I wouldn't assume the tax man will do anything if I were you. My cousin reported her ex for tax evasion (and supplied lots of evidence) but HMRC did piss all, and her ex is still out making a mint on the side.