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Original poster

DP's SM took dd for her first hair cut.

619 replies

Foxandthehound · 02/02/2019 10:29

I'm probably being unreasonable and ott but I don't care.

Dd was born with quite a bit of hair, by 6 weeks old it all fell out. It grew back thick, incredibly curly and a beautiful blonde colour. I was in love with her hair. We (me and DP) weren't planning on cutting her hair for a while. We were going to let it grow out. DP's SM suggested to get a 'trim', to help it grow faster. We didn't follow through on the advice because it was growing quite well already.

DP's SM had her for the day yesterday and dd returned with a beanie hat on. I asked DP's SM where the hat came from and she looked sheepish and said she bought it as a gift. Thinking nothing of it, I thanked her and started chatting about how cold it Is (assuming that's why she bought the hat) (dd does own multiple hats btw).

She left quicker than usual. I started removing DD's outwear. I finally got to pulling her hat off and I was gobsmacked. All her curly hair is GONE! It wasn't a trim, all her hair is complete gone.

I know it's a silly problem and it shouldn't bother me, but she knew I didn't want a trim let alone it all chopped off. I rang her and she answered and immediately started apologising, so she knew what I was ringing about. She said the hairdresser took too much off. I told her i didn't agree to getting her hair cut. so she was way out of order for taking her for even just a trim. I then asked did she at least save a curl for me to have? I've told her before that when she has her first haircut, I wanted to keep a lock of hair. She said she only got one lock, but that was for her to keep, not me. That added fuel to the fire and I told her she's completely out of order and she best avoid me for a while.

Thinking about it I'm probably completely overreacting, I'm just so mad!

OP posts:
Oliversmumsarmy · 02/02/2019 11:51

Foxandthehound

I think you are under reacting.

This was the first thing and if you don't go NC in a few months time you will be back complaining that sm has got her e

Jeezoh · 02/02/2019 11:52

That’d be the last time she had sole charge of my child.

elvis86 · 02/02/2019 11:53

I'm not a violent person, but I think I would actually punch someone in the face if they took my child to have their ears pierced without my permission.

Hollypink · 02/02/2019 11:53

Oh my god my daughter is the same age with curly blonde hair, also has a SM granny if she cut her hair off I would want to go round and cut all of hers off. Definitely go round and get the curl off her I wouldn't let her see her again what the hell was she thinking

Santaclarita · 02/02/2019 11:53

I would actually tell her she is no longer considered a grandmother until she earns the respect back. The grandfather can travel to yours to see his grandchild until then. So can she, but no unsupervised contact, she doesn't decide anything to do with your child, not even something as simple as giving her water.

She's not trustworthy in the slightest, this is just the latest thing she's done to undermine you. So she can be treated like a child until she learns to act like an adult.

Once she learns where her place is, she can be considered a grandmother again, and maybe eventually get unsupervised contact, but under strict instructions and only after several years of good behaviour.

Might be seen as extreme but considering what else she has done, she isnt trustworthy and needs to earn trust back.

JohnnyKarate · 02/02/2019 11:53

Go get that curl. Never leave your DD with her again if she is going to be left alone with her.

Ribbonsonabox · 02/02/2019 11:55

You need to have strong words with her. You are under reacting I'd be absolutely livid. She sound completely untrustworthy!

Fiddie · 02/02/2019 11:55

I'd be furious, in fact I am, on your behalf.

Oliversmumsarmy · 02/02/2019 11:56

sorry posted too soon.

You will be back on here that she has had her ears pierced and then that she has booked her into a nursery or dressing up as a boy and changing her name via deed poll.

She isn't even a relative. She is your fil's gf

Yulebealrite · 02/02/2019 11:56

Cutting the hair is bad enough but refusing to give you the curl is insane.

What does the gf say on the matter?

EugenesAxe · 02/02/2019 11:58

Holy fucking fuck. I am SO not precious about everything, but it was reading about lock-gate and the “that’s for me for me to keep” that has turned me into a flaming eyed monster on your behalf. What a total bitch.

As to the practicalities of all this; it will grow back beautifully and a lock from her second hair cut will not lose any of its charm for being slightly later into her life... but I would be shielding a lot of my DDs future life from someone like that. She’s an idiot - I think from now on you should refer to her as Mother Gothel.

MotherOfDragons90 · 02/02/2019 11:59

I’d definitely be going straight round and demanding that curl!

Flowers for you OP, she sounds like a total dick. I’m sure your DD’s curls will grow back soon Flowers

BusyMum47 · 02/02/2019 12:00

That's beyond outrageous - you're definitely not being unreasonable! I'd have gone batshit crazy at her & told her she will never be allowed unsupervised access to your daughter again. It's just so rude!

makingmammaries · 02/02/2019 12:00

OP, how does your DD feel about her step-gran? If this woman is generally kind and caring towards your DD, I honestly think you could let this go. It won’t matter in five years’ time, but if you say hurtful things to her it might permanently wreck the relationship, and with your DP’s DF too.

SubparOwl · 02/02/2019 12:01

I'd be absolutely livid.

Mmmhmmm · 02/02/2019 12:01

"She said she only got one lock, but that was for her to keep, not me."

WOW, what a fucking selfish cow.

Neversurrender65 · 02/02/2019 12:03

Why am I seeing an episode of Deadenders flashing through my mind........🤔

Kikipost · 02/02/2019 12:05

I’d feel angry upset and hurt

But I’d let it go. I really would.

PoshPenny · 02/02/2019 12:06

That's outrageous. I wouldn't cut contact, I'd make a point of referring to what she did every single time I saw her ever again. She'd be the one stopping contact because I'd never let her forget what she did and what a crazy rotten trick it was to do that.

Kikipost · 02/02/2019 12:07

I'd make a point of referring to what she did every single time I saw her ever again.

Good grief, what a negative way to live your life.

bert3400 · 02/02/2019 12:10

I would be absolutely furious ...how dare she do that to your daughter. And to make matters worse , to keep the only lock of hair for herself. Omg I am fuming on your behalf.
Has she done anything like this before? Does she have any children herself ?

Josieannathe2nd · 02/02/2019 12:14

Not over reacting. If she gives you the curl today I’d consider seeing her again but she definitely wouldn’t be looking after her by herself ever again.

ChrisjenAvasarala · 02/02/2019 12:15

I was furious when my ex MIL took my son for his first pair of shoes. I think I'd have committed murder if she'd done what this woman has!

Chinks123 · 02/02/2019 12:17

You are definitely not overreacting op! My dm keeps nagging for me to cut dds hair and I have said no. If she ever did anything like this I would be so upset. You’re the parent and you said no; she’s trying to undermine you. She sounds awful.

PCohle · 02/02/2019 12:17

I would be irate. I really hope you get the lock of hair OP.

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