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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DP's SM took dd for her first hair cut.

619 replies

Foxandthehound · 02/02/2019 10:29

I'm probably being unreasonable and ott but I don't care.

Dd was born with quite a bit of hair, by 6 weeks old it all fell out. It grew back thick, incredibly curly and a beautiful blonde colour. I was in love with her hair. We (me and DP) weren't planning on cutting her hair for a while. We were going to let it grow out. DP's SM suggested to get a 'trim', to help it grow faster. We didn't follow through on the advice because it was growing quite well already.

DP's SM had her for the day yesterday and dd returned with a beanie hat on. I asked DP's SM where the hat came from and she looked sheepish and said she bought it as a gift. Thinking nothing of it, I thanked her and started chatting about how cold it Is (assuming that's why she bought the hat) (dd does own multiple hats btw).

She left quicker than usual. I started removing DD's outwear. I finally got to pulling her hat off and I was gobsmacked. All her curly hair is GONE! It wasn't a trim, all her hair is complete gone.

I know it's a silly problem and it shouldn't bother me, but she knew I didn't want a trim let alone it all chopped off. I rang her and she answered and immediately started apologising, so she knew what I was ringing about. She said the hairdresser took too much off. I told her i didn't agree to getting her hair cut. so she was way out of order for taking her for even just a trim. I then asked did she at least save a curl for me to have? I've told her before that when she has her first haircut, I wanted to keep a lock of hair. She said she only got one lock, but that was for her to keep, not me. That added fuel to the fire and I told her she's completely out of order and she best avoid me for a while.

Thinking about it I'm probably completely overreacting, I'm just so mad!

OP posts:
Snog · 02/02/2019 19:49

This woman is untrustworthy and has no respect for you.
Proceed with caution.

EvaHarknessRose · 02/02/2019 19:50

She's trying to sabotage the relationship with you somehow. It's so odd, if true, to tussle over the box and hair. She must be a very jealous attention seeking lady.

Aquamarine1029 · 02/02/2019 20:17

That nasty cunt of a woman would never lay eyes on me or my child again.

BartonHollow · 02/02/2019 21:07

So that the OP is aware @Foxandthehound The Mirror have lifted this thread it's just appeared in my Newsfeed

Hadn't commented before because everyone else said what I was thinking YANBU and my blood would be boiling.

BartonHollow · 02/02/2019 21:08

Oh sorry x post !

SimplyPut · 02/02/2019 21:16

Another fine piece by the tabloids Hmm

DP's SM took dd for her first hair cut.
Iloveacurry · 02/02/2019 21:26

OMG unbelievable! So pleased you got her lock of hair. SM is a nut job. I wouldn’t be leaving DD with her again, and I hope she knows it.

chuttypicks · 02/02/2019 21:45

I would go absolutely mental and never let her have unsupervised access (or possibly even supervised access) to my child again!! And I would go to her house and insist on having the lock of hair. Dreadful behaviour by the SM. Just reading your post has angered me on your behalf, and I'm usually someone who thinks people on here are BU and making a big deal over nothing. SM is a bi7ch!!

EffOffStomachPain · 02/02/2019 21:57

Holy fuck I would be furious.

Nomorepies · 02/02/2019 22:11

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on the poster's request.

smellsofelderberries · 02/02/2019 22:15

YADNBU, I would be so devastated had anyone done this to my DD. Send DP around the collect the lock of hair and then ignore her.

lunar1 · 02/02/2019 22:21

Does she have a tenuous grip on reality? Because this is so far over the line it's ridiculous.

AnotherEmma · 02/02/2019 23:36

Maybe the stepmum wanted children of her own and wasn't able to have them? That's the most logical explanation I can think of for her creepy obsession with the OP's DD and her hair. Either that or she's just crazy 🤷🏻‍♀️

Missingstreetlife · 03/02/2019 00:09

Emma that's no excuse. Sorry, she needs to respect boundaries.

HerRoyalNotness · 03/02/2019 00:13

Yep I’d lose my shit over that. Send DH there to get the curl! It’s your child not hers

HerRoyalNotness · 03/02/2019 00:16

I’ve caught up and seen you went to get it. Pity you didn’t throw the box on the floor to smash it as you left. What a horrible woman

PinkSquidgyPig · 03/02/2019 00:35

Good grief! That's a nasty, selfish act by a very self centred person. I would not be seeing much of this person in future. What next, your poor child might come home with pierced ears and tattoed eyebrows!!
Then to say she wants to keep the only lock of hair. Unbelievable. Who does she think she is? She has a very disproportionate sense of her own importance.
I'm furious on your behalf (I'm usually very reasonable and forgiving, but this ...)

TheSerenDipitY · 03/02/2019 04:48

im a little hot headed, my first instinct would have been to hold the bitch down and shave her head!!!!
the next would be no unsupervised time alone with the child.... ever, no letting ya guard down as she will do it again

AnotherEmma · 03/02/2019 06:47

missing
I never said it was an excuse. Of course she still needs to respect boundaries. It's just that it can sometimes help us to understand the reasons behind someone's behaviour when we're responding to it, that's all.

AintNobodyHereButUsReindeer · 03/02/2019 07:20

@Oliversmumsarmy

"All those calling the woman a Grsndmother or step grandmother or SMIL she is not any of those things.

This woman isn’t even married to the FIL she is just his gf or live in gf."

Where have you got this from? Nowhere at all in any of the OPs posts on this thread say that Confused

Barbarafromblackpool · 03/02/2019 07:56

I reckon she fancied a lock but made a mess of taking it and tried to 'tidy it up'

I would have no problem cutting this person out.

DartmoorDoughnut · 03/02/2019 08:00

Yep SM can get to fuck the unhinged twatbadger

bethy15 · 03/02/2019 08:27

All those calling the woman a Grsndmother or step grandmother or SMIL she is not any of those things.
Where have you got this from? Nowhere at all in any of the OPs posts on this thread say that

Well, just read the thread title, the OP says DP's SM, so she herself calls her a SM, which makes her a SMIL.

However, I do agree with you, she is none of these things if she is just a girlfriend of the GF, and so it shouldn't even be an issue to cut her out completely.

ememem84 · 03/02/2019 08:43

I didnt want ds to have his hair cut he had lovely thick albeit slightly unruly blonde hair. Dh said it was turning into a mullet. I said to dh if he wanted to get it cut so desperately he could take him. Thinking he wouldn’t.

He did. I’m glad he did in the end because I wouldn’t have let the hairdresser cut anything (and in hindsight it did need a trim). He got an envelope with ds’ hair in it.

About 2 days later ds’ hair was back to its unruly self. I fear he has inherited my hair. Thick strong and with a bloody mind of its own...

Frazzled2207 · 03/02/2019 11:06

I would be so cross. My ds2 has hair like you describe and for that reason I put off cutting it for a very long time. My own mother is generally difficult and I know wanted me to get it cut but even she knows (and she often oversteps the mark) that that would have been 100% not on.

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