DP's SM took dd for her first hair cut.

[Foxandthehound]

I'm probably being unreasonable and ott but I don't care.

Dd was born with quite a bit of hair, by 6 weeks old it all fell out. It grew back thick, incredibly curly and a beautiful blonde colour. I was in love with her hair. We (me and DP) weren't planning on cutting her hair for a while. We were going to let it grow out. DP's SM suggested to get a 'trim', to help it grow faster. We didn't follow through on the advice because it was growing quite well already.

DP's SM had her for the day yesterday and dd returned with a beanie hat on. I asked DP's SM where the hat came from and she looked sheepish and said she bought it as a gift. Thinking nothing of it, I thanked her and started chatting about how cold it Is (assuming that's why she bought the hat) (dd does own multiple hats btw).

She left quicker than usual. I started removing DD's outwear. I finally got to pulling her hat off and I was gobsmacked. All her curly hair is GONE! It wasn't a trim, all her hair is complete gone.

I know it's a silly problem and it shouldn't bother me, but she knew I didn't want a trim let alone it all chopped off. I rang her and she answered and immediately started apologising, so she knew what I was ringing about. She said the hairdresser took too much off. I told her i didn't agree to getting her hair cut. so she was way out of order for taking her for even just a trim. I then asked did she at least save a curl for me to have? I've told her before that when she has her first haircut, I wanted to keep a lock of hair. She said she only got one lock, but that was for her to keep, not me. That added fuel to the fire and I told her she's completely out of order and she best avoid me for a while.

Thinking about it I'm probably completely overreacting, I'm just so mad!

Glad you've got the hair - I'd never leave a child in her care again

Good, let her read about what a vile and nasty bitch she is in the papers- I wouldn’t even take the thread down! I would share it online along with photos of what she did to your baby! But after her daring to turn nasty towards you when you asked for the hair I would be severing contact completely. She would be getting no more photos of my dd either!

Well done on taking your dd’s Hair back. I hope you have enough to put in your dd’s baby book/ treasures box OP. I would be so tempted to replace her shampoo with hair removal cream!

YADNBU In the least! What a fucking bitch to do that. She had no fright to do that.

Right , not fright'

I can’t believe she was displaying her trophy!

Another vote for letting her read it in a "newspaper" ( lazy so called journalism)
No one would back her up

Ill send her the news article myself 😂 I honestly don't give a crap. She's gone way too far this time.

I'm not going nc, I'm going to wait until all this dies down before we speak again. Under no circumstances is it going to be unsupervised. It's only for DD's sake, having no grandparents living near her. She does enjoy the company of her Step nan.

My god, that's just awful, awful behaviour on her part. She's not her daughter, she's not even her grandmother.

She sounds awful to do this, and knowing how much you love her curls.

When I was little I had lots of curls, and was a pretty baby (still have curls now). My aunt favoured my cousin, who also had curls. She convinced my mum to let her trim my baby curls and she wrecked them, chopped them all off completely and my hair wouldn't curl for a while either. She was a hairdresser, so knew exactly what she was doing.

Cut this woman loose.

I’m late to the party on this but I would be fucking livid if someone did this to my DS. I’m glad you got the hair back and definitely no unsupervised contact in future, nasty cow can’t be trusted!

Livid on your behalf, She is not even related to you,
What will she do next? pierce her ears ?

Wow op i would be peeling myself off the ceiling so to speak i would be absolutely apoplectic and would have made my feelings very clear. You are being a lot nicer than i would not going nc as i would never let her see DD again .She had absolutely no right .And she told you to fuck off ,she has very high opinion of where she thinks she stands which in relation to rights with DD is absolutely diddly squat .I am glad you got your lock of hair back ,i agree with other posts ,she is one evil bitch .

I would be livid.

Glad you got a lock of hair back.

If you want to entertain the thought of her having contact again say it can happen when DD's hair grows back.

Also, I get the fact she has only those grandparents but your DD is precious and I'd only facilitate a relationship with people who respect your wishes as to how you and DP raise your daughter.

Glad to hear you got the lock back OP but the fact that she wasn't sorry & became abusive is just awful. What sort of person is she? You're right to avoid nc for gf sake but definitely no unsupervised contact with her. She needs to win back your trust & that's probably going to take years. You sound a fantastic mum & it's great your dp is supportive. What a horrible situation for you. I hope she finally feels some guilt & shame.

Also, forgot to add, an unwanted haircut is a form of assault. If you cut off an adults hair you have assaulted them.

So there's that.

that's probably going to take years

With someone sinister like this, that should never really come. They'll just wait for you to be a bit slack and take the piss all over again.

i wouldn't ever really trust her because you know who she is now.

Young children are indiscriminate in who they like though. It's an evolutionary thing because they're vulnerable and need others to survive. Tell a toddler that someone is their relative, meet them frequently and the toddler will "like" them. Even if the relative is dripping poison in the child's ear, talking about "silly mummy", "mummy doesn't need to know" etc. So your daughter liking your SM means nothing.

Omfg!!!

This is close to home for me. My dd2 had the most beautiful blonde curly hair as a baby and toddler. If anyone, and I mean anyone had cut her hair I would have become violent.

Obviously this doesn’t help - and on thread like this I never read on - OP you have every right to be utterly outraged. Anyone who says otherwise is an asshole.

I would cut this person out of my life. I would never forgive this trespassing of boundaries. Ever.

Oh my goodness. I’m late to the party, but I would genuinely have called the police.

She told YOU to fuck off!? After all that she did to you/your DD!

Yep she couldn't give a shit about respecting your parenting, that's enough to stop unsupervised contact again or certainly until your DD is old enough to stand up for herself. Sod the grandad missing out - he chose being a coward over his GD so he doesn't get that privilege anymore.

I would be furious but I mean really, the police??

That is awfullshe went against your wishes. She knew she had done wrong due to the beanie hat and dashing away quickly. I am normally quite relaxed, but this is out of order. She would not be having your dd for a while until she can talk properly.

she sounds entitled and unhinged, and a deluded strange stupid woman.

Just read the rest of the posts, OMG what wod she want with a lock if child who is unrelated to her, she did not have the good graceto save one for you. Glad you swiped it back, serves her right! She has her own agenda. For those who are saying go to the Police, wtaf!!!! Police had more pressing matters like murders, paedophiles, and assure, to worry about a haircut.

Please keep us posted with any further info OP. I’m way too invested now!

A lock of hair in a glass box in front of a photo?

Bloody hell, she'll be after teeth next.