DP's SM took dd for her first hair cut.

[Foxandthehound]

I'm probably being unreasonable and ott but I don't care.

Dd was born with quite a bit of hair, by 6 weeks old it all fell out. It grew back thick, incredibly curly and a beautiful blonde colour. I was in love with her hair. We (me and DP) weren't planning on cutting her hair for a while. We were going to let it grow out. DP's SM suggested to get a 'trim', to help it grow faster. We didn't follow through on the advice because it was growing quite well already.

DP's SM had her for the day yesterday and dd returned with a beanie hat on. I asked DP's SM where the hat came from and she looked sheepish and said she bought it as a gift. Thinking nothing of it, I thanked her and started chatting about how cold it Is (assuming that's why she bought the hat) (dd does own multiple hats btw).

She left quicker than usual. I started removing DD's outwear. I finally got to pulling her hat off and I was gobsmacked. All her curly hair is GONE! It wasn't a trim, all her hair is complete gone.

I know it's a silly problem and it shouldn't bother me, but she knew I didn't want a trim let alone it all chopped off. I rang her and she answered and immediately started apologising, so she knew what I was ringing about. She said the hairdresser took too much off. I told her i didn't agree to getting her hair cut. so she was way out of order for taking her for even just a trim. I then asked did she at least save a curl for me to have? I've told her before that when she has her first haircut, I wanted to keep a lock of hair. She said she only got one lock, but that was for her to keep, not me. That added fuel to the fire and I told her she's completely out of order and she best avoid me for a while.

Thinking about it I'm probably completely overreacting, I'm just so mad!

She sounds an utter cow OP ...How dare she? She could go to hell for me now she wouldnt be having my daughter again....ever.Atrocious behaviour on her part ...stay away from her she sounds utterly unhinged,

Well done for taking the hair. I'd be furious!

So now you know. She doesnt think anything of you, dp, or dd, nor her dp who SHE is making life difficult for. Has she any children, what do they think?
Just go no contact op, there's no reason to have her in your life, and every reason not to. Unfortunately it means gf can't have unsupervised contact either bit you can all see him together

I don't even understand why she would want a lock of your DD's hair.
Does she have other children/grandchildren?

Well done!

And don't let her have Dd on her own again. She is outrageous- what would she arrange next to annoy you?

OP

You're not overreacting at all as some people have suggested,my late MIL use to do crap like this all the time when my eldest 3 were little,There were a couple of occasions when my ds returned after she'd sent my FIL to get his hair cut at her neighbours salon with the excuse that my ds's hair was untidy (her neighbour always did a shoddy job) or when she was putting my then 16 month old into pants and cracking out a potty down at her house when he was her because my nephew who 9 months older has started potty training or once when I picked up my them 12 month daughter I was told by my MIL she'd had to smack my daughters arse because she was being naughty (I completely lost my shit at that one)

Unfortunately my MIL was a really pushy person and use to try to get her own way over everything,

Can’t believe she told you to fuck off! What a CF!

I didn't take any of my children for a hair cut until they were coming up for 3 years old. I had a few people telling me I should though. The girls had lovely curls and it wasn't needed but admittedly DS should have had his snipped a lot earlier but I didn't want to take that step just yet. There were lots of jokey threats to take scissors to it when I turn my back from friends and family etc but everyone knew it was MY choice because he was MY DS. I would have gone fucking nuclear if anyone had done it.

Well done on getting the curl back.
It's obvious SM KNEW that it was a huge deal because she kept the curl and even displayed it like a trophy. She was pissing on your territory and I would not let that stand. Do not give her access to your DD and I certainly wouldn't be referring to her as gran. She would be called by her name to DD and as DFil seems to be spineless against his wife, her epically bad decision has sealed it for him too. He should see your DD on supervised visits only unless you know SMil is not there (such as away on holiday)

If you don't keep you DD in your sights you'll be picking her up with her ears pierced, first uniform bought, first professional family photo shoot (with SMil and FIL not you parents), first tooth kept and whatever other firsts we parents get.

I'd be having fantasies of using a battery powered hair clippers on the bitch if I were in your place.

I'm so glad you got the lock of hair! Now you should take her advice and fuck off out of her life forever. She's toxic.

I’m terrible for bearing grudges. If SM had done this to me she’d regret it for the rest of her life because she would NEVER have unsupervised access to my child again. Nobody crosses me and gets away with it.

I think you've learned a very valuable lesson here OP. She clearly is batshit, and cannot be trusted for one second to look after a small child. Next time will be earrings and a tattoo.......

She has no respect for you and your DP at all.

I would have killed her

OP - you may want to have this taken down. It's been picked up by national press vultures!

www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/mums-fury-after-realising-what-13942624

Simple she’s not to have your child again .

The sad thing about this is that as well as her not having unsupervised contact again, it’s a problem leaving your dd with gf too. He's shown he’s not prepared to stand up to her

YANBU - Id never leave her alone with child again. SIL did the same to me years ago and I ended up with Lady Gaga’s love child. DD looked ridiculous - fortunately it grew out quickly.

Well done OP on getting your child’s lock of hair back. You are amazing!

To those of you who have asked about gf opinion, he said he's staying out of it. I suspect he knows his wife is in the wrong, but he follows her blindly and wouldn't say a bad word against or to her.

So he's decided to stay out of it. Seems reasonable as long as "it" means "granddaughters life".

I actually would go apeshit.... and I don't tend to get angry about most things. And something like that is just not on she went way over the line.

Can't believe she didn't apologise and GF is letting it go. She sounds completely unhinged and vindictive, I feel so bad for you.

Let her read it in the lazy newspaper that steals stories, who cares! I wouldn't be having anything to do with her now anyway, and if grandad hasn't got the balls to see why you're upset and tell his wife she's out of order then he will lose out too. I wouldn't be letting DD go to them unsupervised at all, and if Gd wants to see her he can come to you. Dsm can stay away until she seriously eats some humble pie and massively apologises. If she can't do that it's her/their loss and totally brought on themselves.

Incredibly rude and way overstepping the mark. I am baffled that she wants to hold onto the lock of hair - that’s just crazy now (think she had lied about saving a lock by the way)

Let her read about herself in a shitrag! She deserves it.

Well done OP. I hope things are calmer between you next time and she apologises but I guess it will be a long time before she's trusted again for a solo visit.

Oh I see you got a lock back! So she seriously thought she should keep it rather than you the MOTHER of the child!?