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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not understand people that are afraid of dogs

520 replies

Josico58 · 01/02/2019 20:59

Is it not an extremely debilitating and irrational fear? Based on how many dogs there are about in public, how do you go about daily life? And to think they’re all about to attack you for no reason?

I can understand people feeling nervous of a big dog hurtling towards them/their small children, but regular, well behaved dogs in public places. Really a problem?

Don’t mean to sound harsh but it just comes across as a bit pathetic to me.

A friend’s little girl is terrified of my dog. It’s a Cavalier puppy, hardly scary! I admit he can be excitable and full on, and we’re training him not to jump up or lick people. But the mum kind of enables it, picking DD up and saying “it’s OK, he’s not going to get you”. I’m left feeling a bit “Er, get a grip!!”

AIBU?

Sorry, as an animal lover I just can’t understand this seemingly common fear.

I suspect popular opinion will be that I am and I’m ready for the backlash!!

OP posts:
Smotheroffive · 02/02/2019 15:31

I hope you understand a ddog mentality a bit more than you did, and why it is completely reasonable for some to have developed fears and indeed phobias around ddogs; the ddog, most often, is trying to please, or join in, but its methods can be completely unacceptable.

Very sadly, and your responsibility, that DC may well now have learned lifelong fear that you called others pathetic for. That incident was entirely a result of your lack of control around your dpup, and you are lucky it didn't snap at the same time and tear her beautiful face, or take out an eye.

The hospital regularly treats the victims of irresponsible owners. Mostly it is not through bad intentions, thankfully, but the result can be the same.

DC can hurt themselves or each other, accidents happen, but with a ddog, its your fault.

To runners, ddogs will be triggered by running. Very often ddogs will take it as reason to run also.

I recently had a large ddog run at speed barking at me as I cycled off road. Because it wouldn't stop I shouted at it to shut up! I wasn't having a game! I ended up stopping the bite and dismounting the ddog stopped all excitement and just stood looking, we ended up exchanging pleasantries, was a young inexperienced ddog that reacted without knowing what it was doing or what I was doing. A scared person would keep cycling and could well exacerbate the behaviour.

...and the owner, all this time, not to be heard, seen, nothing, no apology, no recall of ddog. Nada, shit.

Yidette86 · 02/02/2019 15:32

Unfortunately the OP and some other posters haven't restricted their ridiculous comments to this thread, there's another thread regarding an incident with a dog and they haven't done dogs or their owners any favours with their silly comments.

I don't own a dog myself at present but am friends with plenty of people who do, including a dog trainer - I was discussing some of these mad comments a couple of them and they were shaking their heads at the nonsense and said it was owners like these posters that normally have the worst behaved dogs and the reason why some people can be so hostile towards these animals.

jelliebelly · 02/02/2019 15:34

Its sensible for children to be cautious of dogs and actually if they don't have pets if their own of course they will be scared of them. They might look cute but they are still animals and I for one really really don't understand the attraction of owning one.

OutOntheTilez · 02/02/2019 15:40

BettyBitchface

I never even thought of such a thing as allergic reactions from flea bites. Thank you for sharing and stay safe!

Smotheroffive · 02/02/2019 15:49

Have to say Gunpowder I read your post as saying ddogs don't love their owners, and that animal owners don't have empathy, and you would never date someone that was an animal lover.

The vast majority of the population have pets, including ddogs, sadly some are extremely irresponsible, and should have to pay for training when caught out.

OP have you ever been to any training classes, learnt about ddog behaviour, before taking on this responsibility. You ddog could turn into some thing quite nasty, which at the moment has no indication of being, but blaming the DC for her reaction to your dpups behaviour tells me you don't understand ddogs, and you should not let you dpup around other DC without very close supervision. That would be holding dpup imho.

Also teaching any DC, like your own, what to do, like putting something interesting in its in its mouth to play with! How to keep it away, and how to pick it up and give it to you safely.

pandechocolate · 02/02/2019 16:28

Not read all the PPs but as a dog owner that was attacked as a child, I wanted to comment.

I was attacked by a German Shepherd when I was 9 which gave me a nice bite on the ass after pinning me to the floor, unprovoked. I knew the dog and took it for walks. I knocked on my friends front door and it just ran out and went for me.
From then I was scared of dogs until I was about 15. I now am absolutely fine and love dogs. We have one.

I think being scared is fine but I do think knowing how to act around dogs is important. I would always come in to contact with dogs whilst terrified and knew to stand still and remain really boring do they would go away.
I know people that have young children and the parents totally avoid exposure to dogs for no real reason. Where we live this is actually really impractical, as one in three households have a dog. So when they do see them, which is inevitable, the kids go crazy screaming. So the children never learn how to act around dogs and a fear is just sort of....built in.

Our dog is very friendly when approached on and off a lead but will keep to himself when he is meant to. We were on a trip in Wales with him and he was lying between my legs asleep on a boat. A child boarded and started screaming loudly, which made the Mum start ranting loudly about why dogs are allowed places. If you know you are going to places that are dog friendly, why not use the opportunity to try and learn how to stay calmer around them?

So yes I think YABU for saying people that are scared of dogs are pathetic, but I do think people being scared of every dog they ever see and getting annoyed at the sight of them is unfair and people should learn to manage their fear if they are likely to be around dogs.

pandechocolate · 02/02/2019 16:32

I feel like I should add on that when we are out and our boy is off lead, if I see kids I always put him on a lead just in case the children are frightened of dogs. But I think educating children about dog safety is important, and it is unfair for owners of calm dogs to be penalised. That's why my fear stopped when I was 15. Round here EVERYONE has a dog, and living here with a fear of dogs would be near impossible.

notahiker · 02/02/2019 17:18

I am a dog owner and I think YABU

greenelephantscarf · 02/02/2019 17:22

But I think educating children about dog safety is important, and it is unfair for owners of calm dogs to be penalised.

I disagree. your pet your responsibility. keep your dog under close control in public, i.e. don't let it approach people and other animals. if you need to keep your pet on the lead to do that then so be it.

Raspberry88 · 02/02/2019 17:27

Also...I've noticed just recently around me that the amount of dog shit everywhere is just incredible. You can barely walk a few steps without encountering it just all over the pavement. So there are obviously lots of inconsiderate dog owners here. As I can't tell who these dog owners are, best just to assume that I can't fully trust any of them.
PinkGin
Wow, I presume you must just come on here to let off steam or something...surely no one is this horrible in real life!

BlueEyedBengal · 02/02/2019 18:14

My mother never apologised for the attacks her dog did on me and my niece and always put that dog before us. She actually Blamed my niece when all she did was walk in the room, she was 4yrs old at the time. This is why my sister and I went n c. To this day she has always treated dogs in a way that they rule the roust and her last dog was aggressive. She also overfeeds them so they end up fat and even has been threatened by the vet that if she continued to overfeed her dog he would report her.

LoniceraJaponica · 02/02/2019 19:00

I admit that I judge people who put their pets before people. I grew up with dogs, cats and guinea pigs, and then went on to have cats of my own.

However, I would always put the comfort of my guests first. Admittedly I don't understand why people dislike cats, but whenever we had friends round who hated or were scared of them it was a no brainer to put them out of the way.

BlueJag · 02/02/2019 19:26

My sister had her hand nearly ripped off by an Irish setter and since then I've always been nervous around dogs.

LunafortJest · 02/02/2019 19:48

OP, you said that these fears are 'irrational' and that people who had them were 'pathetic'. You don't think you are the one being dramatic? And goady? I don't really fear dogs except for large dogs or ones like pitbulls, however I do not really like dogs. I find dogs far too unpredictable. How many times do we read "but he was such a gentle dog I don't understand why this happened" when we read articles about dogs suddenly turning on their owner or mauling them/someone else? Dogs are smelly (you can NEVER get rid of that 'dog' smell, no matter how many times you bathe them), don't cover up their droppings, don't wash themselves, and bark and cause a nuisance. Cats are very predictable and don't lash out or do anything without reason. They are clean, quiet and always have a reason for what they do and if they are upset they give you warning. I don't mean to turn this into a dog vs cat thing, but I find the attitudes of dog owners like yourself who think anyone is scared of dogs is 'pathetic' to be part of the reasons I dislike dogs. You don't do yourself any favours by dismissing people, calling them pathetic, then doubling down and calling others on here dramatic.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 02/02/2019 19:55

If you can't understand why some people are frightened of dogs, you are part of the problem.

A friend’s little girl is terrified of my dog. It’s a Cavalier puppy, hardly scary! I admit he can be excitable and full on, and we’re training him not to jump up or lick people

You're "training" him not to, which means he currently DOES jump and lick.
But you don't see this as a problem?

Northsea · 02/02/2019 19:57

My son is afraid of dogs. He doesn't like the noise or the unpredictability. Last week as we walked through woodland he was several metres from me when a barking dog ran and chased him.
My son was in tears and the owners laughed. I couldn't see what they found funny.

emzw12 · 02/02/2019 19:58

What a twat post!
I hate dogs have a fear of them and don't want them near me!
No different to any other hate or phobia!

Dexra · 02/02/2019 23:04

Your dog doesn't love you because of your sparkling personality or wit. It loves you because you feed and walk it. It's obedient because it has no choice

Doesn't sound that different to the kind of love most babies and children have for their parents, tbh. Definitely no different to the kind of love a severely disabled child has for its parent. Doesn't make the love invalid.

ChainVaper · 02/02/2019 23:21

I love dogs- very proud dog owner and massive dog lover but YABU big time!!! I have a fear of cats which seems irrational to my friends with cats but I absolutely cannot bare the bloody claws and was swiped in the face by a mean cat when I was a kid so I totally understand. It was really traumatic and I still remember how horrible it was to have a constant reminder of the incident on my face for weeks after. I don’t want to stroke or hold or even be in the same room as a cat !! Fear is very real to those who have phobias.

Smotheroffive · 03/02/2019 01:01

I know of bitey unpredictable dcats! So its not true that they always predictable atall.

I have actually never been bitten by a ddog, despite growing up with them and have tens of ddogs in our lives.

I have conversely, been attacked by a dcat in the street as a dc. It was all preening and arching and rubbing against me, I stroked it (first time touching a dcat) it bit my thumb hard and dug both sets of claws into my arm. I was shaken by it. My own have also caught me a swipe with very sharp claws, a few times, when I hadnt realised I was doing something triggering for their prey/pounce reaction.

I also got bitten very hard when a kitten couldn't tell the difference between a chicken bone and my finger! Ow!

Just saying their not all innocent bastard catlords

Whereas ddogs do want to please Its the owners that screw them up

Smotheroffive · 03/02/2019 01:04

I have also seen a dcat attack a ddog in defence of its litter mate being approached by said ddog.

I've not seen any of my ddogs attack anything, although they do defend their home, give warning barks I mean.

Dcats literally don't give a damn!

Jupiter13 · 03/02/2019 01:09

Dogs should be kept locked in a kennel.

TrendyNorthLondonTeen · 03/02/2019 01:13

No.

Smotheroffive · 03/02/2019 01:18

Nice Jupiter oh sorry, I meant cruel

SnipSnipMrBurgess · 03/02/2019 02:02

I don’t trust people who don’t like dogs... but I trust my dog when it doesn’t like a person
Anyone who says this is a tool.

Still would like to know what a wimb is.

Your dog is not cute.