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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not understand people that are afraid of dogs

520 replies

Josico58 · 01/02/2019 20:59

Is it not an extremely debilitating and irrational fear? Based on how many dogs there are about in public, how do you go about daily life? And to think they’re all about to attack you for no reason?

I can understand people feeling nervous of a big dog hurtling towards them/their small children, but regular, well behaved dogs in public places. Really a problem?

Don’t mean to sound harsh but it just comes across as a bit pathetic to me.

A friend’s little girl is terrified of my dog. It’s a Cavalier puppy, hardly scary! I admit he can be excitable and full on, and we’re training him not to jump up or lick people. But the mum kind of enables it, picking DD up and saying “it’s OK, he’s not going to get you”. I’m left feeling a bit “Er, get a grip!!”

AIBU?

Sorry, as an animal lover I just can’t understand this seemingly common fear.

I suspect popular opinion will be that I am and I’m ready for the backlash!!

OP posts:
LadyRochfordsIcedGusset · 02/02/2019 14:22

www.mygc.com.au/baby-girls-face-ripped-open-in-horrific-dog-attack/

Just from today - horrible snotty kids hey?

Carouselfish · 02/02/2019 14:30

I could never date someone who didn't like dogs. Would find it hard to be friends with them actually and generally think they were a bit of an empathy-lacking hard hearted weirdo. If they were scared however, I'd assume something terrible had happened to them If it hadn't I'd think they just needed to learn dogs body language and they'd be ok.

funinthesun19 · 02/02/2019 14:38

Would find it hard to be friends with them actually and generally think they were a bit of an empathy-lacking hard hearted weirdo.

Empathy for what exactly?

Smotheroffive · 02/02/2019 14:40

You say you don't understand the hysterical reaction OP. Answer: you don't have to, you just has to respect others don't feel like you do about your ddog.

she lost her shit [when ddog jumped up]
Well clearly you lost your shit a bit there that you couldn't rationalise that this move was clearly completely unexpected and the DC had no idea what would be happening next. Previously she hadn't shown any fear and had been happy with your ddog around, so she wasn't primed for fear, your ddog did that. Well no, its never the ddog to blame, its the owner.

Can you please explain why you have not left your dpup off the lead yet? You blamenit on it age, when that's not a good reason. If your dpup did enough running around off lead, it might be more relaxed and tired. It should absolutely not be left to play around young DC, it absolutely will get excited.

It's important for you to realise that a dpup does not have to have a nasty or aggressive temperament to seriously harm a DC, its just that dpups and ddog in general are very tuned into excitement, that includes DC dancing about, playing, running, high pitched voices; to a ddog these are triggers for ddogs, and inexperienced or youngsters will react with equal or greater excitement, demo strated as leaping up, scratching, snapping, biting, tugging, gripping with teeth, shaking.

It was your sole responsibility to keep the dpup away from such a young DC, and only allow it around those it is used to. Your dpup, just because of its age could easily have snapped at her face in excitement, caught her cheek, her eyes, torn her nose.

Without you wanting it to be, or believing your dpup has harmful intentions, it doesn't from what you've said, regardless it still is absolutely a risk

GunpowderGelatine · 02/02/2019 14:46

@TrendyNorthLondonTeen

Why do you keep posting the same shit over and over again?

Um I haven't Confused

2manybiscuits · 02/02/2019 14:48

Pathetic op? I'm 41 I'm scared of dogs I cross the path to avoid them. Any dog can bite and be Dangerous. I'm definitely not pathetic.

GunpowderGelatine · 02/02/2019 14:48

@Carouselfish how does not liking dogs show a lack of empathy Confused I don't see the appeal with dogs at all and people like the OP really put me off dogs. I most certainly do not lack empathy because I don't love a smelly slathering animal jumping up at me

TrendyNorthLondonTeen · 02/02/2019 14:56

"@TrendyNorthLondonTeen

Why do you keep posting the same shit over and over again?

Um I haven't confused"

All those posts about how people who love/own dogs are deluded, dogs are just slaves, they don't actually LOVE their owners, etc etc?

Yidette86 · 02/02/2019 14:57

There's some terrible nasty dog owners on here but please people don't think it's down to them owning dogs... It's down to them just being unpleasant arses in general, I actually pity their pets tbh and anyone who has the misfortune of knowing them in real life.

There's plenty of lovely responsible not batshit crazy dog owners that aren't nasty and are understanding. Please don't think all dog owners are the same.

Unfortunately some of the idiotic dog owners have turned up on MN with such ridiculous posts... They have just showed themselves up.

ThePoliticiansPraiseMyName · 02/02/2019 14:57

I have a giant breed dog. I have taught my children to be wary of other people's dogs because I do not trust them. I am sick to death of people saying 'he's friendly' while the dog is clearly giving off signs of anxiety or being over-excitable and out of control. My dog is being trained to be quiet and calm on a lead and lie down to be petted if people ask. The number of people who let their children run up with no warning to me or the dog is ridiculous. At the end of the day the dog is 180lbs of teeth and feet, a good dose of wariness is not a bad thing!

LuaDipa · 02/02/2019 14:59

I love dogs, and am not at all afraid of them, but I wouldn’t tolerate my own two jumping up and licking my (bigger) kids. I certainly wouldn’t want some random puppy doing it. Yabvu by allowing the dog to get so close to a fearful child in the first place.

I’ve always found that the people who struggle to understand that everyone doesn’t adore their little ‘furbaby’ as much as they do tend to be the people with the most badly behaved pets. Your dog may be the most placid, friendly dog in the world, but there is no excuse for not keeping it under control near a small child, particularly if it’s badly behaved ‘excitable’.

GunpowderGelatine · 02/02/2019 15:00

You have exaggerated just a smidge @TrendyNorthLondonTeen Hmm

InsomniacAnonymous · 02/02/2019 15:03

I am very confused by this post by Spotsbeforemyeyes
"Ill tell my 11 year old Dd to stop being pathetic when she almost throws herself in front of moving traffic to avoid dog sitting shall I?"
is there a typo in there somewhere? Confused

TrendyNorthLondonTeen · 02/02/2019 15:05

"You have exaggerated just a smidge @TrendyNorthLondonTeen hmm"

Nah, two posts on the same page and within an hour of each other with the same smug, sneering tone. We get it, you hate dogs, and no one with your towering intellect would ever lower themselves to care for such a disgusting lifeform.

GunpowderGelatine · 02/02/2019 15:09

Oh do calm down @TrendyNorthLondonTeen not everyone likes dogs, get over it. I don't hate anything, and I didn't say dogs don't love humans 🙄

Wejustdontknow · 02/02/2019 15:14

I have a fear of dogs which I believe started as a young child when a family members dog used to growl and snarl at me and I have never outgrown the fear. Just the other day a man had a dog on a lead and still let it run up to me and jump at my leg, his response to me when I told him to keep his dog under control was don’t worry he won’t hurt, he is deaf so likes to come see what’s happening. I encounter this a lot, it’s not the dogs it’s the inadequacy of the people looking after them who presume every loves their dog.

Itssosunnyout · 02/02/2019 15:18

Josico58

Yabu

You don't have to understand it. Its a fear, end of.

NCjustforthisthread · 02/02/2019 15:18

A friend of my husband’s daughter was killed by her dog - she was a few weeks old. So - her kids and her and understandably nervous about all dogs. Is that ok with you @Josico58 ?

Monestasi · 02/02/2019 15:19

I can't even be arsed to read beyond the stupid OP.

Friend out jogging recently was attacked by a dog. Just one of many many anecdotal tales i have.

Cant stand people like the OP. I take a stick out when hiking where i live. I would use it in a heartbeat on any canine that was threatening to me and my dc.

Rawlins11 · 02/02/2019 15:19

The OP sounds like a right bellend 😂

SteelRiver · 02/02/2019 15:21

Award for the daftest and most judgemental post I think I've seen on here so far. Yes, YABU. Very.

OutOntheTilez · 02/02/2019 15:26

When I was four, my mom, little sister (in a carriage) and I were chased by two big black dogs that got loose and ran after us, barking and slobbering, before the owner ran outside and called them back. I could literally feel one of the dogs nipping at my legs. In retrospect, they were probably medium-sized dogs, but to a four-year-old, they seemed huge.

For the next 15 years, I was scared of dogs, or at least anything that was bigger than a small, “yippee” dog as I call the tiny ones. If one came near me, especially if it strained on its leash toward me, I’d give it a wide berth, and the owners were always very considerate and pulled the dogs back.

Then around age 19 my fear evaporated. I’m fine with all sorts of dogs now. But it’s not an irrational fear, at least no more irrational than my fear of spiders (which I’ve always had and will probably have forever).

Itssosunnyout · 02/02/2019 15:27

Also its not about you. You be talked a child who is scared and you are willing to let that continue as you seem to not understand how others feel.

5SleepingLions · 02/02/2019 15:30

This is the most stupid post I have read.
I now have a fear of dogs, not a bad fear I can walk past them without running and screaming.
Until you've seen your child mauled by a dog shut the hell up.

BettyBitchface · 02/02/2019 15:30

I give dogs a wide berth and cats for that matter.

You may see me and perceive my pathetic fear.

Only thing is, you'd be wrong.

I love dogs and cats and would stroke and cuddle them by choice.

My fear is their fleas. I am very attractive to fleas. My body reacts very badly to flea bites. Antihistamines do nothing. I have a tendency for leg skin breaks to turn into ulcers that struggle to heal and lead to cellulitis because of bad circulation and all the joys that brings.

So my fear isn't the animals, nor even the fleas as such, more a fear of a very real possibility of becoming an amputee over a flea bite.