to not understand people that are afraid of dogs

[Josico58]

Is it not an extremely debilitating and irrational fear? Based on how many dogs there are about in public, how do you go about daily life? And to think they’re all about to attack you for no reason?

I can understand people feeling nervous of a big dog hurtling towards them/their small children, but regular, well behaved dogs in public places. Really a problem?

Don’t mean to sound harsh but it just comes across as a bit pathetic to me.

A friend’s little girl is terrified of my dog. It’s a Cavalier puppy, hardly scary! I admit he can be excitable and full on, and we’re training him not to jump up or lick people. But the mum kind of enables it, picking DD up and saying “it’s OK, he’s not going to get you”. I’m left feeling a bit “Er, get a grip!!”

AIBU?

Sorry, as an animal lover I just can’t understand this seemingly common fear.

I suspect popular opinion will be that I am and I’m ready for the backlash!!

*your dog

I find it irritating when a dog is in a shop doorway more because it is in the way, but also because you can’t predict if it may nip at you or snarl or bark or just even jump up at you. Why should the general public have to brush aside these irritations? Why don’t the dog owners just not leave their animal in people’s way?

^^ this

Why do a lot of dog owners think it's ok to force their dog onto the general public?

Totally rational fear.
Dogs are unpredictable. They do bite and occasionally kill.
And they stink.

I think a lot of it is just an innate fear. Me and my DP LOVE dogs and are always so positive about them and have a stroke of them/make a fuss when we are around them. My 4 year old is terrified. He has had no bad experiences, not seen anything bad in books or tv shows. I don't get where it's come from.

Lol dog owners get so butthurt when people say they don't like their dogs.

My brother was scared of dogs as a child. Not massively just quite wary

Every single dog owner thought their dog was the one that could cure him, this meant multiple scary episodes of dogs jumping up at him, dogs chasing him, dogs barking at him. And owners laughing "haha isn't my dog so cute". No he's not, this meant my brother went from having a minor fear to full on melt down when dogs came near him. If dog owners had just listened to my parents when they said "x is a bit wary of dogs, we'll just keep him out the way of yours" he would have got over it. One woman literally stood their laughing as their dog chased after my 5 year old brother.

Every dog owner I've ever met thinks that their dog is the one that will make me like dogs. And all their dogs have been fine. I will sit their with them, I can feed them, walk them if necessary. Fine. But I don't have any desire to do it of my own accord. I just don't like dogs, they are smelly and gross. Their dog isn't any more special than all the other dogs I've pretended to like over the years. (I actually tell a lie there was one dog who I did fall in love with a bit, an impecibally trained greyhound, he was special )

I like a lot of animals, I love sheep, I love fish and birds, but most of them don't slobber on me Willy nilly and jump up at me. I'm not expected to interact with most animals so I can appreciate them from a distance. And no one expects me to fall in love with their heard of cows

Yabvvu, you don't know if that person was injured or threatened by a dog. There are some crappy irresponsible dog owners about, I would not trust them to be safe with a dog and to keep the public safe.

If a dog barks near my 3 year old she screams in terror, she's shaking and petrified. She hasn't got this from me, I'm not scared of dogs at all and am always calm and reassuring, tell her he's just saying hello. She has a natural fear of what could potentially be a dangerous animal, it's not unreasonable IMO.

Um, name change fail? I'm calling this is a goady thread intended to spark the boring old "poor misunderstood dogs vs nasty vicious MN bitches" debate.

Please remember, dogs are like humans and for every “horrible” one there are thousands and thousands of lovely ones

That's not patronising at all is it 🙄

Your dog looks miserable, OP.

I hate dogs. My son was attacked when he was smaller and he's now terrified.
What's not to understand?

I've never been attacked, but quite honestly if a dog is bounding up to me, aggressively or not, my first instinct is to boot it.
Obviously i don't 😂 but it is my first instinct. I don't want your stinking, slobbering, possibly violent animal near me.

The child's mother is reinforcing the fear by picking her up. The dog should not be allowed to run at her, jump up. She needs gentle socialisation with a not bouncy dog. The mother is probably nervous too

I’m a bit of a cat lover, but i’d totally understand people feeling uncomfortable or nervous around cats because the buggers ARE bloody unpredictable and can lash out for some sudden unknown reason, although most of them just purr and collapse on the ground. If someone has. A phobia of cats I wouldn’t call them pathetic, just as i’d hope they’d understand me not getting in a lift!

Really? I was forced to live in a home with a German shepherd that was totally jealous of me being around my mother. He was there for 3 yrs from when I was 12 until I was 15. She know he would attack me every time I was near her and believe me this dog ment business. He killed a did while she insisted walking him off the lead then blamed the other dog when the police came around. She keeled me off school to watch him because he was alone and she didn't want that and when she came home from work she asked me to get her a coffee knowing full well that he would go for my face and I would have to grab him but the baggy but on his neck while he napped at me. I'd hand her the coffee and quickly grab the other side while this nutter who was so tall he was looking me in the eye. I would then get to the door backwards and quickly grab the door and shut it with him attacking the other side. The bitch my mother would never avert her gaze off the tv and she would never stop him. He was put down after attacking my niece and injuring her face my sister went n c after that and I did after she threw me out at 17. I have had dogs alone my married yrs namely Staffies and I have loved them a great deal and they have died of old age but I really hate big dogs and would never let one near my kids but I'm ok with medium small ones. I would not be so disrespectful of other people's fear of dogs, I have faced reactions to my staffs when I had them and I respected that. Dogs are fitted with claws and teeth and are strong for their size so without trying can scare some children so be respectful to others please.

A dog, I phone and me not getting along.

Well, my sister's dog bit my ex. In the face. There was a tremendous amount of blood. He's never done anything like it before or since (she didn't have him put down). They're totally unpredictable.

I think a lot of it is just an innate fear.

I think this is true, and true the other way too. I have loved dogs ever since I can remember. I was bitten as a child but that never put me off, just made me more careful. I can read them pretty well. Either you’re a dog person or you’re not either is fine as long as you’re not cruel to them.

Meh. Doesn’t bother me or not if people dislike dogs, or my dog in particular. I like him, that’s all that matters 🤷‍♀️ He is not allowed to approach people, so the fear element is irrelevant (unless people are scared just by his sight/presence and there’s nothing I can do about that). I have an irrational fear, and that’s up to me to deal with and take measures to avoid. Easier for me, as you see much fewer snakes around than dogs, so I do sympathise with dog phobics.

It’s also understandable for people to say they just don’t like dogs and don’t want their stinky, slobbery, hairiness near them.

I feel the same about other people’s kids. I don’t really want their sticky, dribbly, snottiness near me either.

We just need to accept we all have our likes and dislikes, and take care not to inflict our preferences on others.

By the way o p your dog is cute but do him justice and make sure he is trained to not jump up at people. And respect that not everyone will like him. Wait until they ask to fuss him and don't get upset when they don't like him.

Your dog looks miserable, OP.

No, he doesn't! Cavaliers are meant to have large, soulful eyes.

Ok so my findings on this topic is that 95% MN hates dogs.

No, sweetie. Just a certain kind of dog owner.

I love dogs, but I’m with them on that one. And as the mother of a child left with a huge fear of dogs after a badly-controlled one terrified him as a toddler, let your friend work on her daughter’s confidence in her own way. It’s a fucking awful process and often the result of one of the aforementioned certain kind of dog owner.

OP, training your puppy is a process, taking time and patience.

It's also a process to help a child overcome a fear of dogs. It's taken us years to get DD to the point where she'll hold the lead when out for a walk with her uncle's dogs. She is still nervous of dogs she doesn't know which I think is highly preferable to being too ready to approach them.

For us the first steps in that process were to reassure her she would always be safe with us and that we have her back. That sometimes involved picking her up so she was above any dog she was frightened of, reassuring her and keeping her calm.

While doing that it was surprising how often people would give us their (unasked for) opinion that we were making things worse, that we were making her more firghtened, that her fear was all our fault. No. We were helping her deal with her (entirely reasonable) fear of what were to her large and unpredictable animals.

Let your friend deal with her daughter as she wants to. It's all a process.

OP you’ve posted pictures of your dog to try and prove a point. It’s just a dog, as a non-dog lover I don’t think it is particularly sweet or adorable (and I’m sure if I posted pictures of my DC you’d say the same). I wouldn’t want to stroke it or for it to jump up and say hello. My DD would be scared of it because size isn’t part of her phobia.

If it’s kept on a lead and well trained then great. I know they are part of society and we can happily coexist without any interaction. I have no issues with good owners, most of my family have dogs.

But I was actually attacked by a small dog. I’ve had small dogs cause issues and no doubt some of the shit my kids have stood in come from small dogs. It’s not the size or the breed but bad owners that give dogs a bad name. Don’t be bitchy and eye roll at other people’s fears, try and understand them. Otherwise you are just another ignorant, bad owner.

Raspberry88 do you find this scary?

Sorry, I've only just come back to this thread. I think your dog is beautiful, really cute. However I don't know it and I don't know you, how on earth can I know that your dog wouldn't bite?

@BlueEyedBengal

So sorry about what you want through as a child, it sounds horrific.

Does your mum regret what happened to you and your niece?

Also, the OP will now accuse you of 'competing to see who was attacked by the biggest, nastiest dog'

Ive been bitten by 2 different "friendly, family, wouldnt hurt a fly" (not mine) dogs when I was a child. First time, me and my friend were lying on the floor watching tv. I went to grab some popcorn and was bitten on the face, by the cute little family pet. I still have a scar .
Second time, I was in a friends garden in the summer, we were playing tag. Dog ran behind me and bit my arse.
There was a very aggressive dog on the next street when I was a 7/8, who escaped and mauled a small dog in front of me.
I have also come across aggressive dogs on walks, the school run etc.
So excuse me if I am cautious and afraid of creatures, who have shown me numerous times that they shouldnt be trusted. HTH