to not understand people that are afraid of dogs

[Josico58]

Is it not an extremely debilitating and irrational fear? Based on how many dogs there are about in public, how do you go about daily life? And to think they’re all about to attack you for no reason?

I can understand people feeling nervous of a big dog hurtling towards them/their small children, but regular, well behaved dogs in public places. Really a problem?

Don’t mean to sound harsh but it just comes across as a bit pathetic to me.

A friend’s little girl is terrified of my dog. It’s a Cavalier puppy, hardly scary! I admit he can be excitable and full on, and we’re training him not to jump up or lick people. But the mum kind of enables it, picking DD up and saying “it’s OK, he’s not going to get you”. I’m left feeling a bit “Er, get a grip!!”

AIBU?

Sorry, as an animal lover I just can’t understand this seemingly common fear.

I suspect popular opinion will be that I am and I’m ready for the backlash!!

I have a dog and love dogs but there are certain breeds that I am scared of as well as individual dogs that I am scared of. It may seem nonsensical to you but I totally understand it.

I think when you love something it's hard to understand someone being fearful of it. I used to think like you OP, I've always had a dog and it's hard to understand some people hating them so much.
But then I'm terrified of spiders, who can't harm me, don't have teeth etc. So if you think about it this way it is a rational fear.
What I can't understand is why so many people who are scared or dislike dogs will refuse to learn about what to do if one does attack you and instead allow their children to squeal and run or become aggressive themselves. It's like saying I'm not going to learn how to make sure my house is safe from being robbed because there shouldn't be people who rob in the first place. It's sometimes upsetting to read people's views that all dogs should be on muzzles etc. Those are the things I tend to find irrational and a bit pathetic.

Don’t mean to sound harsh but it just comes across as a bit pathetic to me ... A friend’s little girl is terrified of my dog You;re calling a child with a fear pathetic? Nice.

AIBU Yes, and nasty!

to not understand people that are afraid

Does such a lack of insight (as also displayed throughout the thread despite people's explanations) not cause significant difficulty in real life?

It sounds like something that could (and should!) be worked on.

@Josico58 - I hate mice when they dart around very quickly and I know one won't hurt me, so how can you not see that the frantic unpredictable movement is unsettling to some of us? Calling people dramatic is unpleasant. Some people don't like dogs, get over it. When DS was a toddler, I understood that not everyone likes little people, because not everyone is the same. And @PinkGin24 - you are exactly the sort of dog owner I hate. So glad I don't know you.

I am a dog lover and have two in my opinion adoreable rescue dogs.

YABVVVVU!!

As I’m sure others have said FEAR is IRRATIONAL! My ds is autistic, from age five he had a phobia of fruit- FRUIT- he cannot help his phobia anymore than someone afraid of dogs can help it! He also from four had a phobia of older people (thanks to Toxic MIL who told ds she was taking him to live with her in her house- considering she lived in Australia for the majority of the year my poor boy was petrified and assumed she and therefore all older people wanted to steal him away from Mummy and Daddy) which was really very difficult as there really are older people everywhere! He was fine with my parents but they were young looking at the time and he just never identified them as ‘old’

Thankfully he had a fantastic psychologist who helped us through graded integration to help ds to conquer his fear. He still dislikes fruit but it no longer fills him with terror. He is fine with older people now and will happily help/ chat to older people when he is out with my dh.

I think those dog lovers who believe animals are lovely and humans are awful, and that's why they prefer dogs, I think we need to get a few things straight.

Your dog doesn't love you because of your sparkling personality or wit. It loves you because you feed and walk it. It's obedient because it has no choice. If, heaven forbid, anything happened to you and your dog went to someone else they would love them as much in a week's time.

Also humans are civilised and at the top of the food chain, therefore it's easier to peg us as "nastier", dogs don't really have the capability. However it is indeed a rare human, even the most awful one, who would immediately bite a baby's face off for no reason, unlike dogs.

OP your dog is very cute (and I am NOT a dog person!) but to a child with a fear of dogs, it's easy to mistake their jumping in your face for a lick as jumping for a bite. Even with the cutest ones.

The solution is easy in all this anyway - everyone should just have cats. They're far cooler

And FWIW I would tolerate a small, sweet natured dog jumping up at me (but would find it immensely irritating), but I am very scared of large jumpy dogs like collies who seem to have no boundaries. Looking at you SIL, when your enormous mutt is face to face with me and snapping in my face, I'm not being "silly" and he doesn't want "a kiss", I don't kiss anyone like that and neither should dogs.

pinkgin u knowif your boy ever bit one of them you would be charged but i suppose u just woldnt invite them over would u-what about workmen afriad of dogs are they not welcome in either

and op stop gong on about your baby you friend child is scared of dogs she doesnt know if your dog is nice or not- she just doesnt like dogs stop reiterating your dog wouldnt do that-as a puppy u actually dont know it wouldnt yo9u havent had it long enough

And to answer your OP if I do see a big dog I cross the street to avoid it. I really don't see that many though for it to be a consistent problem. If I'm in the park with my kids and one off it's lead comes bounding up to me I freeze - not much else I can do (and I don't think the owner would appreciate me giving it a good kick) like with many people you have to tolerate a phobia now and again!

I love dogs and have a dog but I would NEVER allow a dog to jump up on a child no matter what the breed was (my previous dog was a cavalier, but no matter how cute and cuddly the dog, jumping up and/or licking a child is a total no-no in my book). As a child, my grandparents has a collie that jumped up on people. The adults (parents/grandparents) thought nothing of it and told me he meant no harm. I HATED that dog and was so glad the day he died as it meant I could again visit my grandparents without trying to avoid him.
So, be a bit understanding towards people who dislike/have a fear of dogs.

When you think how many people are phobic of spiders and you can’t understand fear of dogs 🙄.

Empty is a great quality

“Had” Not has!

I like dogs, but they do kill children.

My son is anxious around dogs that are close by because some of them behave unpredictably, come too close or make loud noises. He is anxious around young children for the same reasons.

I'm petrified of snails, so I guess that makes me really pathetic. I hate it when people don't understand phobias, my ex thought it would be funny to chase me around the garden with a snail and my body responded in the same way it would if he was chasing after me with a knife. Fears don't have to be rational or logical because most of the time they are not.

I don't have a 'fear' of dogs, I have one of my own.

I know quite a number of dogs that I'm happy to say hello to and give a tummy rub to but I also know a number of dogs I don't want to have anything to do with.

It's got very little to do with size but all about attitude of the dog and often the owner as well.

The lovely sweet Rottie I knew who wouldn't hurt a fly I'm happy around, the three snarling snapping pugs that tried to attack my dog on one occasion I wouldn't go near.

The over excitable trio of large, off lead, untrained dogs that ran at my poor dog and frightened her a while ago in the park I also don't want to interact with.

If someone who is a little unsure of dogs came across those types of dogs why would they not be scared of them? If the three large dogs that ran round my small dog leaping and barking did the same to a child I imagine that child would be left pretty fearful of dogs, possibly for the rest of his or her life.

My dog is small, cute looking, very calm and happy to be stroked something that several children I've met who are a bit unsure of dogs generally have been happy to do. It pleases me that she might have helped them see dogs in a different way.

Dogs can be scary and fears can often be survival related, which to us nowadays, given that we don't have to run from savage beasts, can seem illogical.

How anyone can't understand that is beyond me.

@barkinatthemoon that’s great that you helped that child overcome its fear. It’s not dissimilar to what I was hoping the mum would demonstrate to her DD, that she could stroke him and she didn’t need to be scared. I certainly didn’t let my dog jump all over her. He’s being trained not to jump or lick but of course training takes a number of repetitions for the dog to learn.

So you realise that it will take a while for your dog to learn, but do not give the same courtesy to your friend's DD. She maybe needs to gradually build up confidence around dogs, but it is not going to happen around an excitable, partly trained puppy who you admit did jump up on her. Also, just saying 'there is no need to be scared' and making her stroke the dog is not going to help. She needs to see for herself that the dog is nothing to be scared of and if it has just jumped on her then that is not going to help, is it?

I feel quite sorry for people like @PinkGin24 who dedicate their lives to something that will love just over a decade, who only likes them back because they need to be fed and has been bred to be a subservient slave. To not allow people round who don't buy into the delusion that your dog is an actual family member, and not something you procured purely for your own pleasure, is pathetic.that is over a decade on missing out on meaningful relationships with human families and friends.

Have to say I know a few people like PinkGin who I believe they love dogs purely because they are unquestioningly obedient and submissive and the human has control issues.

*live not love!

OP, your dog is v cute (I like dogs). However being scared of dogs is not that irrational. I’m holding off getting a puppy til my children are older, puppies nip and that is scary and unpleasant for toddlers and small children. How is that child - or you - certain that your puppy won’t nip, or hurt her with its claws?
Also your minimization of the Great Dane that leapt towards the family trying to get out of its way, then barking in the scared toddlers’ face as she lay on the ground as that dog “brushing past” a toddler is a good example of the bad attitude of certain dog owners. Talk responsibility for your bloody animals!

I like dogs generally but have been intimidated by few. To say you don't understand people that have a genuine fear and label them as pathetic is really more indicative of your stupidity than anything else.

Like a PP said it's a certain type of owner that's more of a worry.

I feel the same about other people's kids. I don't really want their sticky, dribbly, snottiness near me either

I don't know about you but I don't think I've ever heard of a toddler biting someone's face off. If you don't believe that happens just google.

A few.

"I feel quite sorry for people like @PinkGin24 who dedicate their lives to something that will love just over a decade, who only likes them back because they need to be fed and has been bred to be a subservient slave. To not allow people round who don't buy into the delusion that your dog is an actual family member, and not something you procured purely for your own pleasure, is pathetic.that is over a decade on missing out on meaningful relationships with human families and friends.

Have to say I know a few people like PinkGin who I believe they love dogs purely because they are unquestioningly obedient and submissive and the human has control issues."

Why do you keep posting the same shit over and over again?

I just don’t understand all the hysterical responses from dog lovers when they realise not everyone likes dogs.

I don’t like spiders. You don’t see people getting offended about that do you? 😂 What makes dogs so fucking special?