... to think they should have been supervised?

[itsallslush]

Ready for the flaming... but I want to hear what other people would do.

Is it OK for a 9 yr old to slice bread for toast without an adult around - when he's not been shown how? The 11 yr old was up but DH was still dead to the world (big night out) so they were getting their own breakfast. I was at work. I know bread knives aren't sharp - but also that DC doesn't know a bread knife from a carving knife. Is the answer to teach him which is which - or to get my lazy-arsed DH to get up?

It's not a one off - though it's usually not because of a boozy night, just because he doesn't get up. But things aren't good between us at the moment, so I don't know if that's skewing my view of the whole thing.

How do/did you work out what - and when - kids should do various things on their own?

We buy sliced bread. But my youngest, who is 10, is interested in helping in the kitchen and has been helping me do things like chop veg for years. He knows how to use a chef's knife properly - leave the tip on the board, rock it back and forward - and he probably started chopping onions and carrots supervised at about 6.

All 3 kids get their own breakfasts and make their own packed lunches. I don't think parents who do everything for their kids are doing them any favours.

Or is this post more about the OP being pissed off that her partner is hungover and she's at work?

As with all things, the problem with children, especially confident ones, is that they’ll try all sorts of things from cooking to crossing roads to experimental construction. If you teach them the skills they need, they have a better chance of coming through unscathed. Mine was cutting a hedge, cut through the cable and was grateful I’d taught him about circuit breakers when he was 15.

By 9, a child should be able to slice bread,

Should they? Says who? I am over 40 and have never done this. My parents must have missed it in the 'must be able to' book!

it's not something I'd consider policing,

Perhaps supervising initially?

and if they didn't know, I'd expect them to be able to look up bread slicing on youtube and figure it out.

Ah what a belter of a comment!

You tube, the parental alternative

Yeah but op will you teach them to do it while riding a unicycle? That's the real question.

Yeah but op will you teach them to do it while riding a unicycle? That's the real question.

When dh worked as s chef, he wasn’t allowed to let 16yo kitchen staff use a knife to slice baguettes, they had to use scissors....

And they didn't feel able to wake up DH. And yes I know that's a bigger issue.

I agree with you OP, that’s the thing I’d be focusing on.

We've been talking about it. I told DC I'd show him how to do it, but if anything came up he needed help with he should wake DH. 'I always have to wake him' he said. 'Why is it my job to get Dad up?' It's not usually booze related btw. Just that he doesn't get up.

The 11yo should have helped the 9yo if he couldn't do it himself. My oldest is 9 and makes toast for younger siblings. Obviously, ideally dh would have been there, but given the situation was the two of them on their own, why did the 11yo help themself and not their younger sibling?

I think there’s something uncaring about staying in bed on a school day whilst your kids get themselves ready for school. (Obviously different if you’re unwell, disabled, working nights etc where there A reason). It’s not that they can’t do it by themselves, or shouldn’t make their own breakfast, it’s just the not bothering to get up and make them feel looked after/cared about when it’s nothing but laziness stopping someone.

I’m a control freak though, so given he’s such a lazy twat I’d have made sure there was stuff I was happy with them sorting themselves.

...but frankly, he’d be long gone.

As for the specific knife issue...I’m not surprised many 9yo’s can’t cut bread, most don’t get the opportunity, but whilst I’d expect them to make an absolute crap job if it, I would NOT expect them to be so incompetent they’d hurt themselves. My bread knife is very sharp, but I really can’t see how you’d hurt yourself cutting a loaf of bread (unlike an avocado or something).

Honestly, you need to spend some time thinking about your relationship and what you’re going to do about it, because you can’t keep living like this.

Your DC are old enough to get ready for school and lock up the house if that’s one of the few things stopping you leaving him. You and the kids will cope much better when you know what’s what instead of having him there, but not there, just winding everyone up.

I would expect a 9yr old to be able to use a knife and slice bread.

We now live with my partner, so sometimes there is someone else about.

But for a long time it's been me and the kids and I'm chronically ill. Mine are now 11 + 7. Two years ago I taught the older kiddo to safely make toast, properly make cereal, make basic sandwiches and we did start on trying to microwave ready meals but it proved a little hard. It just means they both get a bit of independence and it helps me when I'm groggy first thing. I'm not saying it goes right all the time. The littlun likes ketchup sandwiches. I discovered this when I came down to Ketchup Carnage one morning.

Could your partner be struggling with a fatigue related illness? Or is he particularly depressed? That can also cause some level of fatigue.

Oh and in response to the bread knife thing, mine aren't allowed to touch sharp knives, they only use pre sliced.

@BusySnipingOnCallOfDuty No illness. Just a view that he doesn't need to get up.