... to think they should have been supervised?

[itsallslush]

Ready for the flaming... but I want to hear what other people would do.

Is it OK for a 9 yr old to slice bread for toast without an adult around - when he's not been shown how? The 11 yr old was up but DH was still dead to the world (big night out) so they were getting their own breakfast. I was at work. I know bread knives aren't sharp - but also that DC doesn't know a bread knife from a carving knife. Is the answer to teach him which is which - or to get my lazy-arsed DH to get up?

It's not a one off - though it's usually not because of a boozy night, just because he doesn't get up. But things aren't good between us at the moment, so I don't know if that's skewing my view of the whole thing.

How do/did you work out what - and when - kids should do various things on their own?

@Birdsgottafly we're together (just about - so yes that colours my judgement) and if I'd known he would leave them to it I would have got sliced!!

Well my DD was cooking Christmas Dinner from age 10 do I do think you need to show your son how to fend for himself in the kitchen if he is expected to make his own breakfast. And bread knives are very sharp I think you just have a shit bread knife!!

YABU I would not have been making my DS's breakfast at that age whatever it was!
Also all of my (now grown) boys were chopping wood at that age.
You really don't help them by doing everything for them and supervised knife using should have been done by now.
How many times do we hear on MN about men getting married with no household skills because they have had everything done for them!!
Not on my watch...

Eh? My 4 year old makes his own toast and butters it! He’s in pre-school

Oh it’s because they had to slice the bread.... tbh I’m surprised at 9 & 11 they’re not used to cooking and handling knives though

Oh give over with the "my child was using sharp knives from the age of two" what a load of tosh.

Teaching your child to be comfortable around using household objects with complete supervision, definitely yes. Letting them do it alone from 2 is just complete nonsense.

If they haven't been shown how to slice bread with a sharp knife then by all means teach them. Expecting them to do it without having been shown how to do it safely, absolutely not.

I know this is really about me and DH. I may well need to teach DCs more stuff. But I do resent it being because of what DH isn't doing. And it would be me teaching them.

I’m surprised at 9 & 11 they’re not used to cooking and handling knives though

Then you must have lived a very sheltered life

Nothing bad happened
It's good to take on new challenges, and that includes new risks.
Now you've identified a skill to work on, you can do it.

Whether your husband is unacceptably lazy is a much bigger wider Q.

Expecting them to do it without having been shown how to do it safely, absolutely not.

do you really believe bread cutting is a special skill?
If you can use a knife like any other child of that age, you should manage to cut bread. It might be a bit messy if it's your first time, but unless I am missing something, there's no special skill set involved.

This thread is really funny, I cannot believe a 9 year old is unable to eat on his own - how do they manage if they are invited somewhere!

I'm 51 and not great at slicing bread tbh. And bread knives are sharp. Or they should be!

If you can use a knife like any other child of that age

Well clearly they couldn't or the parent wouldn't be worried about it and I can assure you there are many, many children who are not taught how to be safe in the kitchen so it's not like "any other child that age".

"But I do resent it because of what DH isn't doing..."

I don't really understand this, OP.

What should he be doing? All four of my kids get up way before myself and DH at the weekend. 8 year old rises at 6am! I'm not getting up at 6am on my only day off to supervise an 8 year old getting a slice of toast or a bowl of cereal. It's ridiculous. So again...I don't understand what your DH should be doing in this situation if you're able to elaborate

Then you must have lived a very sheltered life
That constitutes as having lived a sheltered life? Believing that a 9 year old, like most kids even younger than them, can use a knife?

You should teach them to wake up your possibly lazy DH.

I teach whittling/knife skills and have taught 4 and 5 year olds. They can, with appropriate supervision, take the bark off a fresh stick and shape the end to make a magic wand. By 7 most children can do this as part of a small group with oversight rather than close supervision, and can begin to do more detailed carving and shaping of handles etc.

I also teach woodcarving to adults and they are FAR more likely to cut themselves, because they don't listen to the safety instructions and are more complacent. It is very rare for children to cut themselves with my knives (which are brutally sharp). Blunt knives are dangerous, because they slip which is when most accidents occur.

I'd be pretty surprised at a 9yo who couldn't manage a bread knife.

That constitutes as having lived a sheltered life? Believing that a 9 year old, like most kids even younger than them, can use a knife?

No, that you are shocked that some children have never been in a kitchen or been allowed, or taught kitchen skills. Do you really think that every child has the same opportunities or interested parents?

As a Brownie leader, I've done cooking with groups of 7-10 year olds several times. We do supervise, of course, but most of our Brownies are perfectly fine without any adult help. I remember cooking whole meals with other 10/11 year olds when I was a Guide twenty-something years ago !

I wouldn't have any worries about this, and would be more concerned about (neurotypical, able bodied) 9 and 11 year olds who couldn't safely use a knife!

I think a bread knife is a bit different actually, certainly different to chopping vegetables or peeling apples (which I think were the first things I learned to do).

What kids are capable of at different ages depends on both the child and their parents.

At 9yo both of mine were making their own breakfast unsupervised including cups of tea, omelettes and porridge.

A visiting friend with a child the same age was completely astonished when DD offered her a cup of tea and then made it for her.

Her DS isn’t allowed to run his own bath because she worries about the hot water so letting your kids use a boiling kettle blew her mind.

Her DS isn’t any less capable than my two it just hadn’t occurred to her to teach him because she worries about different things than I do.

Similarly my two at 11yo can iron. I have friends who think teaching them to iron and do laundry is appalling. .

I imagine that by 18 most kids will be able to look after themselves (or learn pretty sharpish when they move out).

It sounds like your kids coped fine. Well done them.

The alcohol isn’t great but a 9 and 11 yos entertaining themselves while and adult has a life in is fine And pretty normal.

Given the kids did such a good job I’d start teaching them other things.

@CallMeVito glad to amuse. Clearly DCs can eat by themselves.

I'd be more annoyed that the parent in charge was still in bed, what time was it?

The bread cutting wouldn't bother me at all

I always cut myself when I do this. And get wonky bread. So I'd not be keen on 9yo doing aloe for first time.

@badreams I meant I acknowledge a lot of this is about me being cross DH couldn't get his lazy arse out of bed - and that's about me and whether I'm being too precious.

if I'd known he would leave them to it I would have got sliced!!

Why not ‘if I’d have known I would have taught them how to do it?’