Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think that the UK is no longer an attractive place to live

396 replies

Elloduckie · 31/01/2019 12:25

NC here for this one. DH to be and I are getting married next year and we were looking to set up and be based here. But with everything going on, the UK does not seem that attractive to live.

Currently London based, we want/need to be somewhere that is diverse, have no patience bigotry etc. Though living in London doesn't make you immune from that!!

But to raise kids and work, it just doesn't seem like the UK is the place to be anymore. Does anyone else feel like this?
Thing is, we would we move to? Both are very mobile career wise and speak a few languages so that will not be an issue. Money wise should be fine too. Its literally a question of where else is good, diverse to raise kids and not colder than the UK (ruling out the Scandinavian countries).

Suggestions please..

OP posts:
EggplantsForever · 31/01/2019 20:45

Netherlands? Munich? A diverse, international place? You will never ever fit into the local society. Have you ever been there at all (when not high or drunk I mean ;)?
Lots of weird things about the UK but people are much much more welcoming than in most of Europe.

Ifangyow · 31/01/2019 20:49

TeaAddict235.
I'm white German and I have never been a racist towards anyone of any colour, creed or race. What you have stated is a blanket generalisation unless I've read you wrong.
None of my white German family are racist either. Many of us don't ignore racism at all.
I feel sad that you view us that way. That's like me accusing all white British people of ignoring racism, it simply isn't true.

WitchesWeb · 31/01/2019 20:54

What you have stated is a blanket generalisation unless I've read you wrong.

Errr the whole thread is full of them. I mean the whole premise is London is fab with no issues and the rUK is undiverse and awful.

Jorgezaunders · 31/01/2019 20:58

We've lived in a number of European countries and while I loved all of them and feel the quality of life I experienced on the continent was overall much higher than the UK, I would not say any of them were free of bigotry. It all depends what you are looking for. Personally I'd move back to mainland Europe like a shot if I had a job lined up.

PineapplePower · 31/01/2019 21:29

the USA is a complete no go. DH is from there, and the minute we had the DC, it was written off as an option

Serious question: have you yourself lived in the US for an extended period of time?

If diversity and lack of bigotry is something the OP really values, she’s writing off one of the most diverse and least bigoted places on the planet.

Also, not sure where you are getting this “black people are leaving the USA”. It’s not a trend, and where could they go? In general, it is not easy for Americans to live/work abroad unless they are military or involved in the diplomatic corp.

Justanotherlurker · 31/01/2019 21:42

To pretend london is not full of bogotry is anecdotal data, I have 2 juniors in my team who are desperate to escape tower hamlets because they are openly gay, to then pretend Holland with there own right wing uprising is some utopia is some serious concern trolling.

But fair play in the froth inducing concern trolling.

EggplantsForever · 31/01/2019 21:49

The US is half a continent. It is incredibly diverse. It’s reasonable to compare it to the whole of Europe not to a single country in Europe.

Some places are racist shitholes, some are great.

Justanotherlurker · 31/01/2019 22:00

Some places are racist shitholes, some are great.

And those that are great have serious shit hole parts, I agree with your overall point though to try and paint it on a country level is based on illogical anecodatal data.

If we treat it on a statiscial level then the UK is the least racist, hence why this thread is a froth concern troll

Darnsquirrels · 31/01/2019 22:19

@TeaAddict235 again, where in the States do you live?

PinaColada1 · 31/01/2019 22:21

I moved to Ireland for a few years. It made me realize just how culturally diverse much of the UK is, especially London. And how tolerant and accepting we are as a nation.

Ignore the idiots who are bigots, wherever they live, be proud of the hub and bustle of so many different people.

TheBhagwan · 31/01/2019 22:22

Yeah the ruling out the entire USA due to being of color is beyond absurd. You must not have traveled in America much! But there’s not much point in considering it as you are self-employed and have almost no chance of getting a visa to live here long term. Is Canada quite a bit more open on immigration? I don’t know much about it. You may as well limit your choices to places that are actually possible for you.

DangermousesSidekick · 31/01/2019 22:23

UK hasn't been an attractive place to live for years if you're born into the wrong families (i.e. not rich, perhaps from an area with a different culture, no family business or trade or connections). Unfortunately those sort of people will find it hardest to leave.

Justanotherlurker · 31/01/2019 22:30

@poster Darnsquirrels

not who you pinged but why does it matter, are you trying to get into an argument as to why your anecdotal evidence is somehow superior

Justanotherlurker · 31/01/2019 22:38

UK hasn't been an attractive place to live for years if you're born into the wrong families (i.e. not rich, perhaps from an area with a different culture, no family business or trade or connections).

If that was the case then limiting immigration wouldn't be a conscious issue, you are correct though in highlighting the contraindication of class in this argument, the issue is that the vocal left dont want to accept the neoliberal agenda whilst the tory voters accept it

Original poster
Elloduckie · 31/01/2019 22:49

I'm back, manic day. Right so, ruling out USA is mainly due to DC. When growing up I idolised the USA, but seeing the constant racial tension all the time is just over bearing. Also the way policing is conducted there is worrying, especially for someone who will have black kids. Yes I know the media makes everything seem 10x worse. But when you genuinely have cases showing the individual is unarmed and still they're gunned down because they were perceived to be a threat--that is a problem, the persons very existance frightens people. I can't put my children in that type of environment, I refuse. I know police in UK are not perfect, but they don't kill you just because you 'look like you are about to do something' whatever that means.

Canada is colder than the UK no? Have always heard great things about it,
but always thought its not an option due to their point scoring system.

The reality, there is nothing quite like the UK when it comes to being open to foreigners, I wonder why that is. Does the old empire have something to do with it, and why is it mainland Europe doesn't have the same? Genuine question here- not being sarcastic.

Am I wrong for wanting to live in Kingston or Wimbledon, just because I want diversity doesn't mean I have to live in Peckham or some other stabbing hotbed in London. They're just areas that I saw that have nice family setting around with great schools. Personally I love the North London/Islington areas but wouldn't want to raise kids there, petty crime rates are nice. A lot of this move is being dictated on what would be best for the DC really, we seek great schools, a place with a good network and things to keep them entertained.

I guess if we do make the permanent move to Lisbon, we would be employing, so helping/giving something back in that sense. What attracts us to Lisbon is the cuisine, quality of living and overall value for money. Good schools etc. Though I'm seeing that there's a case right now of police brutality against a black family. What's the atmosphere like right now for those currently in Lisbon?

OP posts:
Darnsquirrels · 31/01/2019 23:04

@Justanotherlurker no. I actually live in the States. I showed this thread to friends today (who aren't white) and they rolled their eyes.

Darnsquirrels · 31/01/2019 23:05

Well seeing as you're making HUGE assumptions and stereotyping the whole of the States op it's a bit ironic. Hmm

Darnsquirrels · 31/01/2019 23:07

@Justanotherlurker whereabouts in the states do you live?

badlydrawnperson · 31/01/2019 23:08

The more the OP writes the more I think this has to be a wind up.

Baconmaker · 31/01/2019 23:09

Lots of weird things about the UK but people are much much more welcoming than in most of Europe.

I don't actually think this is true. I found many parts of England very closed off and was welcomed in other parts of Europe (although I'm sure there are less welcoming areas too).

Original poster
Elloduckie · 31/01/2019 23:12

The more the OP writes the more I think this has to be a wind up**

Please explain what I have said is a wind up.

OP posts:
WitchesWeb · 31/01/2019 23:14

lot of this move is being dictated on what would be best for the DC really, we seek great schools, a place with a good network and things to keep them entertained.

Well for starters what may be good now may not be when the DC that aren't yet around get to school age.

To think it won't is extremely naive just as you have an extremly blinkered view of anything outside greater London

Lovelyflowerstoday · 31/01/2019 23:23

Why would it be a wind up Hmm. The OP is outlining her preferences, very sensible imo if she wants precise recommendations.

Swipe left for the next trending thread