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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH taking the piss out of my glasses

164 replies

BapFaced · 29/01/2019 14:49

Name change as DH knows real username. I’ve known for years I’m supposed to wear goggs but I feel so self concious in them that I don’t. Anyway after suffering constant headaches and worsening vision I admitted defeat and went to opticians. I knew DH would take the piss and I can handle a lot of banter so I’m so self conscious I don’t think he realises. It’s constant.
“You’ve got something in your eye, not that one ... not that one ... the 4th one”
“Stop making a spectacle of yourself”
“Get your windscreen wipers on”
“There’s bird shit on the window ... no not that one, that one !” (Spits on glasses)

I’ve told him to pack it in now, I’m getting where I just don’t wear them when he’s around and he still takes the piss putting his hands over my eyes to firm glasses etc

As I said we do have a “piss taking/banter” type relationship but I’m taking this quite personally. AIBU to tell him he’s upsetting me or am I being a baby?

OP posts:
NorksAreMessy · 29/01/2019 16:51

“Banter” = “bullying that you are supposed to laugh at”

At one of the schools I work in even the WORD is forbidden.
It escalates

ravenmum · 29/01/2019 16:51

Is he taking the glasses, spitting on them like you do with a dirty mark and wiping them, or spitting in your face to mimick bird poo? Didn't get that bit.

If you do loads of banter to each other, you've signed up to banter. Banter is generally about things the other person could be sensitive about, right? Unless you make it very clear that this banter is off limits, he isn't going to know.

Put on a proper serious face and tone of voice and tell him that's not on.

planespotting · 29/01/2019 16:54

Did you mean DS or DH? Is he 6?

RebelWitchFace · 29/01/2019 17:00
  1. Did you take the piss out of him for wearing glasses?
  2. When he spat on your glasses was it to do a pretend "clean" and were you actually wearing them?
  3. Have you actually told him in a calm serious manner how much it bothers you?
PickAChew · 29/01/2019 17:04

It's not a joke if it's not funny.

I'd be more inclined to ditch the husband than the glasses, unless he grows the fuck up and stops spitting at you, which is just revolting. He could be prosecuted for assault, if he did that to a stranger.

IlluminatiParty · 29/01/2019 17:04

If anyone spat on my glasses I'd deck them! This is pervasively nasty actually. I'm probably a moody cow but I've never understood this sort of "banter".

Northernparent68 · 29/01/2019 17:04

He is being a dick, but by having a relationship where you take the piss out of each other this type of stupidity is more likely to happen.

IlluminatiParty · 29/01/2019 17:06

Also my varifocal v. wonky eye specs cost a bloody fortune and they're only cleaned with a speshal cloth. Spitting on them would have me murderous on the basis that they only get cleaned when needed.

JuditthIscariot · 29/01/2019 17:12

I got braces unbeknown to dh last week and he has been extremely supportive

How can your DH be supportive of something he doesn't actually know about? Shock

OP, he sounds very tiresome and annoying. I couldn't live with that

Fortshite · 29/01/2019 17:12

Fucking hell how old are you both?

I wear glasses and I get it about being self conscious, but really, they are just a pair of glasses to help you see. They're not 'gogs', just own it, you have poor eyesight just like millions of other people.

As for your husband spitting on your glasses, he sounds like a prize. If my husband spat on my glasses I'd be tempted to stamp on his, then get a divorce.

DareDevil223 · 29/01/2019 17:21

Who are these awful men and why does any woman give them house room?

DP and I make light-hearted and affectionate jokes to each other (not banter, never bloody banter the refuge of the absolute arsehole). I can't imagine any circumstances in which he would do something like that because he likes and respects me as well as loves me and he's not a twat who'd make a 5 year old look mature.

Honestly I despair. Just tell him that it's unacceptable, rude and disgusting and to stop it at once. And both of you should grow up.

Andromeida59 · 29/01/2019 17:26

DP and I do joke around and also tease each other. I've recently started wearing glasses and my DP made a Two Ronnies joke and that was it.

It wasn't constant comments. What happened to the OP is not banter. It is nasty and abusive.
It's a definite LTB to me.

DaveCoachesgavemetheclap · 29/01/2019 17:28

You both sound about 13.

Effendi · 29/01/2019 17:32

Shitty behavior and if my husband spat on me he would be out the door.

Recently he started calling me an offensive name.
Like frog for French or kraut for German, because I have applied for citizenship in the EU country where we live.
I shut that down after a few repetitions. I won't stand for it.

FrancisCrawford · 29/01/2019 17:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AwdBovril · 29/01/2019 17:39

Bloody hell. DH & I don't see eye to eye, on a couple of major issues. But some people really do seem to put up with most appalling crap in their relationships.

I hope you manage to get it sorted, OP.

TooManyPaws · 29/01/2019 17:40

WTF are goggs?

Banter = bullying. Spitting = assault.

Try being nice to each other.

LonelyAmongUs · 29/01/2019 17:42

I'd cut his balls off and put them in a jar of pickled onions. Then call him Pickle Dick.

Your DH sounds like a cunt, what a catch.

Send him to old Lonely, I'll teach the fucking moron the meaning of banter. I'll also beat the shit out of him for free.

WakeUpFromYourDreamAndScream · 29/01/2019 17:50

Is he 9?

He's a twat

Craftycorvid · 29/01/2019 17:52

Can say no more than PPs have said. This is my absolute bugbear in a relationship: ‘humour’ that is belittling. I guess that whenever you say you don’t find it funny, OP, you are informed that you ‘can’t take a joke’? It’s a nasty form of bullying and one employed a lot by insecure men. Spitting takes it into another realm of unpleasantness. I was in a relationship with someone whose ‘jokes’ were always nasty comments about my appearance - strange how the ‘banter’ is always something undermining. I’m sitting here typing wearing the reading glasses that - at 50+ - are essential for me to see the screen on my phone properly. I give a VERY hard stare over the top of my glasses - want me to come round and demonstrate for the benefit of your witty spouse?

PositiveVibez · 29/01/2019 17:58

Urgh. He sounds like a total fucking bellend.

'banter' is a moronic word idiots use as an excuse to be nasty.

Are you like that couple off Catherine Tate? If you find yourself saying to each other 'we're just bloody mad us', then please, call it a day.

Arkos · 29/01/2019 18:00

He's a twat. I've had glasses since i was 7... when i was a self - conscious teen and 20s I spent a fortune on lenses. Even when i had a boyfriend he'd never see my glasses if I could help it. My lovely dad used to say if he's a decent guy he won't care. When I meet my dh I realised he was a decent guy and he doesn't care what I wear or don't wear.
Get yourself a decent guy.

ChesterGreySideboard · 29/01/2019 18:11

Twat.

And banter is just another way of saying bullying. The only people who use the term banter are unpleasant arseholes who hid behind it.

PaintingOwls · 29/01/2019 18:17

Deck him

Huggingslothsallday · 29/01/2019 18:22

Goggs? Wtf? Every child, teen and adult I know refer to them as glasses.

I came when I first had GLASSES and my dp told me I looked sexy as f**k

You come home and your dp spits on them!?!

The pair of you should grow up. Or are you actually 13 on an adult site?🤔 that would make a little more sense.......

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