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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DH taking the piss out of my glasses

164 replies

BapFaced · 29/01/2019 14:49

Name change as DH knows real username. I’ve known for years I’m supposed to wear goggs but I feel so self concious in them that I don’t. Anyway after suffering constant headaches and worsening vision I admitted defeat and went to opticians. I knew DH would take the piss and I can handle a lot of banter so I’m so self conscious I don’t think he realises. It’s constant.
“You’ve got something in your eye, not that one ... not that one ... the 4th one”
“Stop making a spectacle of yourself”
“Get your windscreen wipers on”
“There’s bird shit on the window ... no not that one, that one !” (Spits on glasses)

I’ve told him to pack it in now, I’m getting where I just don’t wear them when he’s around and he still takes the piss putting his hands over my eyes to firm glasses etc

As I said we do have a “piss taking/banter” type relationship but I’m taking this quite personally. AIBU to tell him he’s upsetting me or am I being a baby?

OP posts:

morningconstitutional2017 · 29/01/2019 15:29

"You are the shit" just about sums him up.

"Your dick looks so much smaller without them".

"You behave like a 14 year old - if you don't grow up there are plenty of grown up men out there."
"Proper grown up men don't mind and the boys don't matter."

Aquamarine1029 · 29/01/2019 15:29

If my husband EVER purposely spit on me, his arse would be out the door.

bananaramaspyjamas · 29/01/2019 15:30

Sorry OP but he sounds like an absolute dickhead

Limensoda · 29/01/2019 15:31

Just ignore it!
If you don't react in any way every single time, he will get bored.

newnameforthis7 · 29/01/2019 15:31

@sarahjconnor

Would he take the piss if you needed a hearing aid? A walking cane? A wheel chair?

Of course he would, coz he is a cunt.

I have dated blokes like this in the past who think they're hilarious and quirky and sooooooooooo clever with their 'jokes' and their little quips. Truth is, most people think they're utter twats.

Remember, a joke is only funny if the person on the receiving end is laughing.

I have form for losing stuff, and lost my glasses the other week, and left them in with the eggs at Asda. (I had taken them out of my bag to get my tissues out, and popped them on a shelf!)

At least 7 times since, DH has said 'don't forget to pop your glasses in the fridge next to the eggs. And 'can't find your glasses? Maybe they're inside the chicken shed on the farm.' Just daft things, some funny, some not. But it makes me laugh. If he says anything that I find rude or offensive (and yeah he does say things occasionally,) I tell him 'that's not funny!' and glare at him. He doesn't say it again.

The OP needs to tell her DH that he is really upsetting her with the constant jibes. If he carries on, I think she should rethink spending the rest of her life with this man.

Iloveacurry · 29/01/2019 15:32

How old are you both? Give him a few years and he’ll probably find he needs to wear them himself. He sounds like a knob, spitting on your glasses? Delightful.

newnameforthis7 · 29/01/2019 15:33

And as for the OP's DH spitting on her glasses. I would spit in his tea, right in front of him. Dirty cunt.

AwdBovril · 29/01/2019 15:33

Tell him straight out to stop it right now.

If he doesn't, I'd tell him he wouldn't be getting a shag until he can go a week without doing it. And I'd stick to it. What an arsehole.

chickensaresafehere · 29/01/2019 15:34

I would be telling him to 'FUCK OFF' in no uncertain terms.
I've worn glasses since I was little & was bullied constantly throughout school about it,but never since.
It's really childish, derogatory behaviour from him & you need to tell him he's a bellend!

juneau · 29/01/2019 15:34

Your DH is being a total dick - I'd tell him to pack it in if I were you. It's one thing having a bit of banter, quite another to relentlessly rag someone for wearing glasses. He sounds v. immature tbh.

Belenus · 29/01/2019 15:36

Why do you have a relationship in which nasty mocking and abusive behaviour is normal?

This. He sounds vile and I couldn't live with someone who behaves like that. And I've worn glasses for 40 years. Don't call them "goggs". They're just glasses. A very large proportion of the population wear them. In fact, anyone who makes it past 50 is likely to need them at some point.

thecatsthecats · 29/01/2019 15:37

I lick DH's glasses to annoy him.

But then I wear glasses too, and I only do it when he's licked my face.

THAT is an immature but balanced relationship. Spitting on your glasses to poke fun for wearing them is horrid.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 29/01/2019 15:38

My what jolly japes.

BapFaced you seem to have allowed his childish twattery to define you. He certainly restricts you and is damaging your health.

Maybe tell him that suddenly you can see clearly and had previously had no idea you were married to a cruel cunt!

He needs to grow up or move!

Good luck getting your self belief back... and your dignity, maybe?!

ChocolateChipMuffin2016 · 29/01/2019 15:39

Me and DH have very much a banter relationship, but if I told him something genuine upset me and that I didn't find it funny, he would stop. I think if it bothers you, you need to tell him. Tell him to know his audience!

diddl · 29/01/2019 15:40

If you've asked him to stop & he won't then he's surely just a run of the mill bully?

ewenice · 29/01/2019 15:41

He spat on your glasses? Seriously? If DH spat on my glasses, or anything else for the matter, he would be gone. That is beyond vile and actually quite demeaning.

Yuck. You need to tell him to grow the fuck up . He sounds horrendous.

pamish · 29/01/2019 15:41

LTB.
.

userxx · 29/01/2019 15:41

Spitting on your glasses? You're joking, right?

ColourMeExhausted · 29/01/2019 15:42

There's banter...and then there's abuse. I think you know into which category his behaviour falls.

Charlie97 · 29/01/2019 15:42

He sounds like a complete twat.....but for context before I say LTB, what sort of things do you say to him in your "taking the piss type" relationship?

Ellie56 · 29/01/2019 15:43

Spitting? Really?

This has gone way beyond "banter" and crossed over the line into bullying territory. It is affecting your self esteem so much you don't want to wear your glasses and you need to wear them.

I would lose my shit, and tell him in no uncertain terms to grow up and stop being such a twat. And if he spits again, I would give him a good slap, so he gets the message loud and clear, that you are not in the least bit amused by his puerile knobbish behaviour.

mogtheexcellent · 29/01/2019 15:43

take the piss out of his nob.

You are married to an idiot.

DonDrapersOldFashioned · 29/01/2019 15:45

If this is how you both talk to each other and what you class as ‘banter’, you both need to grow the hell up.

Mushroomsarehorrible · 29/01/2019 15:46

Your DH sounds like a bit of a twat

I wear glasses sometimes, I need them to see things close up, DH never says anything about them.

They are just glasses

eggsandwich · 29/01/2019 15:46

Sorry how old is he!

Would he take the piss out of someone with a prosthetic limb or a cancer. Patient thats lost their hair or some one with a facial disfigurement or any other visable issue, he really needs to be very very careful as some people would take great exception at his so called “banter.”

To be honest I would be upset, does he do it in front of other people?

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