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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH taking the piss out of my glasses

164 replies

BapFaced · 29/01/2019 14:49

Name change as DH knows real username. I’ve known for years I’m supposed to wear goggs but I feel so self concious in them that I don’t. Anyway after suffering constant headaches and worsening vision I admitted defeat and went to opticians. I knew DH would take the piss and I can handle a lot of banter so I’m so self conscious I don’t think he realises. It’s constant.
“You’ve got something in your eye, not that one ... not that one ... the 4th one”
“Stop making a spectacle of yourself”
“Get your windscreen wipers on”
“There’s bird shit on the window ... no not that one, that one !” (Spits on glasses)

I’ve told him to pack it in now, I’m getting where I just don’t wear them when he’s around and he still takes the piss putting his hands over my eyes to firm glasses etc

As I said we do have a “piss taking/banter” type relationship but I’m taking this quite personally. AIBU to tell him he’s upsetting me or am I being a baby?

OP posts:
Dahlietta · 29/01/2019 16:11

As I said we do have a “piss taking/banter” type relationship

DH and I have the kind of relationship where we're kind to each other. You should try it. It's nice.
As for the "goggs", it sounds like you're probably just reaping what you sow.

Charlie97 · 29/01/2019 16:12

But @JudgeRindersMinder the irony is the OH himself wears "gogs"?? Bizarre!

diddl · 29/01/2019 16:14

Have you ever taken the piss out of him for wearing spectacles?

Crustaceans · 29/01/2019 16:14

He sounds like he’s being awful. I’m with everyone on the spitting on your glasses thing. That’s very weird.

Completely separately, if you really hate wearing your glasses, then it might be worth getting some contact lenses. Not to stop your husband being an arsehole, or because there’s anything wrong with wearing glasses. But simply because it might make you feel happier and that’s what matters.

JudgeRindersMinder · 29/01/2019 16:14

@Charlie97 that irony wasn’t missed!

MacarenaFerreiro · 29/01/2019 16:14

What an arsehole.

Beeziekn33ze · 29/01/2019 16:15

Before you had glasses did you 'banter' and 'take the piss' about him wearing glasses at all? Just wondering.

Look around, lots of people wear glasses, it's normal. Or are you two the only glasses wearers in the village?

WillowintheUK · 29/01/2019 16:15

He sounds about 12. You sound about 13.

There’s actually people who wear glasses with plain glass just because they want to! And they don’t call them goggs or gogs.

Charlie97 · 29/01/2019 16:16

@BapFaced give us an example of how you've "bantered" with your OH?

leavethelighton · 29/01/2019 16:18

Where I live, ‘goggs’ or ‘gogs’ is pretty common slang for glasses, not nastily meant. I’m surprised to see OP get leapt on so much for this!

Greatorb · 29/01/2019 16:18

Atleast7 times since, DH has said 'don't forget to pop your glasses in the fridge next to the eggs. And 'can't find your glasses? Maybe they're inside the chicken shed on the farm.' Just daft things, some funny, some not. But it makes me laugh. If he says anything that I find rude or offensive (and yeah he does say things occasionally,) I tell him 'that's not funny!' and glare at him. He doesn't say it again.

Your husband sounds like a cunt too. You should ltc.

DoulaDaisy · 29/01/2019 16:19

They're called glasses, not goggs. Unless you're wearing actual goggles, in that case it's no wonder you think you look stupid with them because anyone would look stupid going around wearing a pair of goggs every day.

Glasses. And no you don't look stupid wearing them, nobody does.

Thebookswereherfriends · 29/01/2019 16:21

If you’re not enjoying the joke and he continues then it’s just bullying. Imagine if you were a kid at school and another kid was treating you like that? It would be considered bullying and it’s no different just because you’re an adult.
Tell him that he is not to comment on your glasses again.

Schmoobarb · 29/01/2019 16:24

Is it just me who’s never heard the term “gogs”?

While I also think you could do with growing up, as you both sound around 12, if I were you I’d tell him you only need them to see his minuscule cock.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 29/01/2019 16:28

I’ve known for years I’m supposed to wear goggs but I feel so self concious in them that I don’t. Anyway after suffering constant headaches and worsening vision I admitted defeat and went to opticians

You obviously had a very negative attitude to glasses even before you had to wear them

starryeyed19 · 29/01/2019 16:29

He's sounds like he's being an utter cock about something that you can't help. Would be be waving chocolate under your nose if you had diabetes? Or buying you trainers if you broke your leg?

I get these comparisons are a bit far fetched but it's pretty debilitating not being able to see. And he is being SO CHILDISH about it. I wouldn't even expect that behaviour about glasses from children never mind an adult. And SPITTING AT YOU?

Utter. Dick.

lottiegarbanzo · 29/01/2019 16:29

You both sound about 12.

Does he have anything intersting to say about anything, ever? I take it this sort of inanely unpleasant verbal diaorrhea is cover for the fact he does not. Also guessing that he spends so much time with you because he has no friends.

Simple solution - wear glasses, spend time away from idiot man-child.

allthgoodusernamesaretaken · 29/01/2019 16:29

Teasing / banter = fine

Calling glasses "goggs" = fine

Your partner spitting on your glasses = yuck

Not telling your partner that his jokes are upsetting = why wouldn't you tell him?

Please tell him it's upsetting you, ask him to stop and show him this thread

starryeyed19 · 29/01/2019 16:31

Also, BANTER IS THE FUCKING WORST. It always seems to be at someone's expense.

allthgoodusernamesaretaken · 29/01/2019 16:34

starryeyed19 I think banter is OK if it's mutual / humerous eg I tease you, you tease me. I don't think OP is describing harmless banter though. It sounds far worse

speakout · 29/01/2019 16:35

As I said we do have a “piss taking/banter” type relationship

Please don't have children until you can both grow up.

Blooger · 29/01/2019 16:37

Wow, what an unpleasant and childish man, if "man" is a word that can be applied to a male who behaves as if he is an out of control 8-year-old. If, as you say, this is the tone that your relationship often takes, I would consider changing it (from both sides) and if he can't grow up, leave.

RagingWhoreBag · 29/01/2019 16:43

You’re both being offensive referring to them as gogs, but if he also wears them it sounds like this is payback for all the piss taking he may have suffered as a kid.

These days nobody bats an eye at a kid wearing glasses or with braces but maybe he was teased and your ‘bants’ give him the perfect excuse to dish some back.

I’d find this really annoying - my DP used to make a running joke about me shagging my next door neighbour. One day I told him in no uncertain terms that it wasn’t funny, it made me feel silly, so he didn’t say it again.

He also often makes a joke when I answer the door wearing my glasses and he asks if Raging is home, like he doesn’t recognise me. ‘Tis of course hilarious every time, so I give it the eye roll of hilarity and let him in. If he was being downright rude or spitting at them I’d tell him to piss off.

LakieLady · 29/01/2019 16:46

Spend your joint savings on laser treatment so you don't have to wear them any more! That'll learn him. Grin

And explain that even the funniest joke wears thin with repetition and he's now crossed the threshold into being a bore.

AgentJohnson · 29/01/2019 16:47

Er, maybe it’s time to rethink your dynamic. Banter is ofte used as cover to bully and given that you’ve asked him to stop and he hasn’t, suggests that this is exactly what he’s doing.

Do you have children? If so, this is pretty poor behaviour to model for them. Put your bloody glasses on woman!