To be sacked due to sick children?

[Spamup]

Regular user but have NC for this!

My children, DS and DD both under 3 have several bouts of sickness before christmas and today my DS is not well which has resulted in a hospital admission - my employet has casually mentioned before about how i would probably be better off not working but nothing has been written down regarding this - ff to this evening, it has been sent to the HR department for formal disciplinary process to start and i am in bits - i am a lone parent and no family or friends to support me with emergancy childcare as they all work full time - can i really lose my job over this? I have bills etc to pay and worked a long time in this field to get to where i am now :(

Raynasmum2015 Yes and you know all about manners, working from home, owball sick kids react with every illness, what the actual facts of the thread are....oh that's right. You don't.

Raynasmum2015 parental leave has to be booked, in advance, in blocks of at least a week. Your employer can refuse the dates requested and offer alternatives. Emergency dependents leave is to arrange care for a sick child and us totally different. I'm sure you don't mean to be so confrontational

**Sugarhunnyicedtea not at all, I just dislike when people act all condescending like the poster I was responding to!

Boysandbuses and nor do you so the condescending attitude is really unnecessary

I think your post at 18.13 was the condescending one. Check what parental leave actually is....

Boysandbuses was not being condescending. They may be quite frustrated though trying to sort through all the nonsense posted by Raynasmum and a few others.

Before giving bad advice please remember this is a woman's career we're talking about.

She’s not being condescending at all, just correcting incorrect posts.

So your childcare fees are £1300 per month and you work 2 days a week. So you need to clear approx £20 per hour after deductions (based on an 8 hour day) before you actually take anything home and that's before factoring in travel costs. I can't even comprehend how you can afford to work, never mind the stress it's causing you.

Tbf boysandbuses is just stating the rules as they are not making them!

You might want to check the page prior to that to see where it all started, just saying

Raynasmum2015 I've read the full thread. Thanks anyway

Boysandbuses "parental leave isn't ad hoc"?? So do you think children plan to be sick at particular times?

That isn't how parental leave works !

rayna Care to tell us what time the post was posted at if you are so certain?

People are giving the OP really poor employment advice, even if it comes from a good place. You absolutely can be let go for not attending work, even if you have valid reasons. People with disabilities may be retired, against their will, on ill health grounds.

Working from home is not a substitute for childcare. It undermines those who do work hard from home. It’s different if you’re freelance or self employed or perhaps have a deadline. If you’re contracted to work between X and Y, you need to be working.

I do have much empathy for the OP. She’s trying to do her best by her children but you can see her employer’s view also. I’ve been a single working parent. I’ve had various periods of sick leave recently and despite being protected by the law, as I am disabled, I was asked to temporarily reduce my hours as I am clearly not coping. It is very upsetting but I cannot be constantly off sick and expect my employer to allow it to go on endlessly.

Spamup. You are a freaking superhero. You are fighting a hard fight. Never say you should have stayed with the father or ex or whatever. Your misery won’t make your children happy, and they’ll learn all those horrible traits that made you leave him... and worse probably copy them. Going it alone is the single most selfless and brave thing you can do.

I have nothing to add to your work situation. You’re between a rock and a hard place, and lady you have my heart right now. I think you can only be honest about the situation with your DDs health and how much of a juggle life it, re-iterate your passion for your work and employer.

Maybe they can set you up to WFH? I sometimes work when my DS is in bed and very early the next morning to get as much work done as possible so I can look after him without panicking about work when he’s ill. See if you can have flex time?

You’re not a failure. It’s so hard having young kids and work fulltime. I think the world has made it almost impossible for single parents.

But (it’s shit to say) you WILL work it out. Promise.

You've certainly hit the trigger points in the same way as anyone else without your childcare issues would. Go along to hr prepared to discuss the situation fully and try and offer concrete ways of improving the situation. Don't stress as I'm sure they'll want to work with you and don't even consider resigning beforehand. I work for a large public sector employer and I'm starting to see a pattern of people resigning in reasonably similar situations.Its almost unheard of for people to be sacked so hold firm.

I see this from both sides of the fence, work in HR. I hate getting these sorts of cases as personally I feel sorry for the employee but professionally I have to support the manager to run a business...
usually we'd agree a period of time to demonstrate an improvement etc not just go in with a warning... we'd speak to the employee to find out what they can do to improve things. Dismissal would be the very end of the line, but there has to be an end of the line if the absence is excessive, unfortunately.

*Raynasmum2015

OP- although you're not asking for sympathy you have mine, seems like you've been through a hell of a lot and this situation isn't helping! sad If you don't mind me asking, what is it you actually do? Is there any possibility that you could be allowed to work from home? If one of your children has a long term condition then it might be considered a "reasonable adjustment", just a suggestion *

I actually went to type almost exactly this...

Good luck xx

Hahhaahaaa I love how pointed out facts is labelled condescending.

If you don't want people correcting you, check your 'facts' before posting.

OP, just to say I feel for you and hope you get it sorted

I wouldn't resign. If you resign the only thing you could do is claim constructive dismissal, but that will probably be difficult. I you can't make alternative domestic arrangements, then you are probably better letting the process run it's course. Can you talk to your employers, see if there is anything you can do?

Oh come on! You must be able to see it from your employers perspective?! You have had a year off previously for PND/domestic violence and now 9 weeks since September?! You have barely been in work!!

Study your own employment policies & get a working understanding of them, for example I would trigger after 5 days in one year as a full time employee - so yours has been exceptionally flexible and generous in comparison. As others have said, it is unsustainable for an employer and a team to continue to support the amount of time off you are having in the role, no matter how effective you are when you there. This link may be helpful, if your employer doesn’t have their own written policy, they are likely following this, which shows you have triggered by exceeding the maximum 4 weeks in a year (part time is generally irrelevant to the calculation) www.gov.uk/parental-leave/entitlement, however as one of your children has a lung condition associated with premature birth (& required 4 hospital stays), disability would be the best avenue to explore & best chance to save your job as there is more flexibility & protection in law - enlist support of your child’s doctor (to write a letter). Also make a case for and (if possible) take evidence of how you will manage these type of emergencies in future.

It's great on Mumsnet, all jobs can be done from home. Hallelujah! Good old supermarkets, banks, taxi firms, train companies etc, all letting their staff work from home.

Just remember that next time you need a service, all the staff are working from home.

IT'S NOT FUCKING PARENTAL LEAVE!

Jesus Christ, what is it with people!?