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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

OH keeps food past it’s sell by and I want to kill him

290 replies

BellaFreckle1 · 28/01/2019 15:58

Ok so this is a really random subject but I need to know if anyone else is in the same boat as me ...

My OH is a nightmare for keeping food past it’s sell by date and claims it’s only a guideline. It’s starting to really upset me because imo he’s risking food poisoning and sickness. He also leaves cooked food on the kitchen worktop overnight and uncovered then freezes or refrigerates it the next day. I made Mac and cheese a couple nights ago and left the remains in the oven dish on the worktop and asked him to refrigerate it for the following days lunch. I got up in the morning to find it still sitting on the counter so I asked him to throw it in the bin and when I got home from work I found it in the freezer!!!

I know this is probably so trivial but it’s really upsetting me and I’m concerned that one of us is going to become really ill.

I accidentally threw out cheese that was within the sell by date and he almost started crying - honestly his eyes glazed over and he was so mad.

Any advice would be great - I need to nip this on the bud before one of us ends up sick!!

OP posts:
popcornwizard · 28/01/2019 16:00

I'd advise you to refrigerate leftovers yourself and/or throw it away yourself. You both seem as bad as each other with food hygiene issues.

Ribbonsonabox · 28/01/2019 16:01

Get a separate fridge and leave him to his food poisoning

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 28/01/2019 16:01

Well surely you just let him eat all the out of date food and that solves your “want to kill him” problem!

SarahAndQuack · 28/01/2019 16:02

I think I'd pick my battles.

I wouldn't care for something that's been left out and kept. I know some people do it, but I wouldn't fancy it, and there is a health risk, especially if it is warm in your kitchen or there's fish/meat in what was cooked.

OTOH, the sell by date really isn't an issue, especially if there's a separate 'use by' or 'best before end' date. Of those, the 'best before end' date can safely be taken with a pinch of salt. And I wouldn't always be fussy about 'use by' - eg., you don't have to be a food scientist to see that a bag of apples with 'use by the 28th' may be perfectly fine on the morning of the 29th!

RangeRider · 28/01/2019 16:03

Sell by dates are a guide. Leaving things out to get warm & grow bacteria is completely separate.
Why didn't you throw the mac & cheese in the bin since you were in the kitchen? It would have taken seconds. Confused

taratill · 28/01/2019 16:03

I think that so long as you are sensible and don't keep food that smells/ looks off then use by dates are artificially short. Food waste drives me nuts. Freeze or use before the use by date if it bothers you so much just don't throw it away.

Lonecatwithkitten · 28/01/2019 16:04

Your eyes and nose tells you if it is off you don't need a date on the package.

Aquamarine1029 · 28/01/2019 16:04

Why aren't you putting the food away before you go to bed? That seems the easiest way to avoid all this faff. But yes, your husband is an idiot.

Magenta82 · 28/01/2019 16:04

YABU about the dates. Best before dates are a guideline, food doesn't go off as soon as it reaches the use by date, cheese can be eaten months after it officially goes "off". There is a huge amount of food waste that is damaging the environment and wasting money, I can see his point about this to be honest.

However YANBU about the leaving food out overnight, it should be covered and put in the fridge/freezer as soon as it has cooled.

TightPants · 28/01/2019 16:05

You’re definitely OTT Bella!
Why throw away perfectly good food within the sell by date? Confused

I grew up with a mother that went by the ‘sniff test’ and used food beyond the sell by date - and am still alive!

LaurieMarlow · 28/01/2019 16:05

OP, I am very much team OH on this one.

If it looks fine, smells fine, tastes fine, it is fine. It's truly shocking how much food is wasted these days and much of this is to do with people slavishly following SBD.

UnaOfStormhold · 28/01/2019 16:06

Are you both clear on the difference between sell by/best before/use by dates? Because the first two I would definitely use, the last one probably not so it makes a huge difference.

twiglet · 28/01/2019 16:07

There is a big difference between best before and used by date.

Best before is a guide, used by date is not.

Regarding left overs put them in the fridge as soon as it's cool you can both do that.

ReflectentMonatomism · 28/01/2019 16:07

I accidentally threw out cheese that was within the sell by date

Why on earth are you throwing cheese away on the basis of its date anyway? Hard cheese is fine almost indefinitely: it was in some cases years old before it was sold. Soft cheeses might get a bit ripe, but by the time they might start to get dangerous it's unlikely that all but the most enthusiastic would be eating them anyway. What do you think is going to happen if you eat a six month out of date piece of Parmesan, or a three month out of date piece of Cheddar. or a month out of date piece of Brie?

Huntawaymama · 28/01/2019 16:07

Hhhmm depending what the food is and how far over he's going I'm guna go with yabu

I always make sure I use raw chicken within 2 days of the use by date but most things like veg and fruit you can tell if it needs binning. Sometimes it'll be a good week past date.

And while I always try to put left overs straight in the fridge in the 7 years I've lived with oh I've often left them on the bench overnight and eaten the next day with no issues

If you don't like it don't eat it or refrigerate the food yourself or shop better so stuff isn't going out of date

LaurieMarlow · 28/01/2019 16:08

And no way would I have thrown that Mac n Cheese in the bin. Unless it obviously looked or smelt spoilt, it would have been fine to eat.

Redglitter · 28/01/2019 16:08

YABU about the sell by dates thing. As pp said go by how things look and smell.

IntentsAndPorpoises · 28/01/2019 16:09

I'm with your dh. If it smells fine, looks fine and has been stored properly then it fine. My dh is like you and it drives me nuts. Waste of perfectly good food.

ReflectentMonatomism · 28/01/2019 16:12

I've been cooking for nearly 40 years. I have never had food poisoning in my own house. You have to be incredibly cavalier to get ill. Food poisoning mostly arises when good is kept warm for long periods at below 70C, or is kept in fridges for a long time and then not properly reheated to above 70C.

If everyone who obsesses about dates instead bought an accurate food thermometer, they would be far less likely to worry about nonsense. In the case of a Mac and Cheese left out overnight, what do you think is going to happen? It's almost certainly safe, and if it's heated to above 70C, it's safe.

Mummyto2munchkins · 28/01/2019 16:12

DFIL is terrible for this.. He had mussles in the fridge for about 2 months (one of them with Garlic things) and decided to eat it, I said it was probably gone, apparently its fine as its vacuum packed, also asked me to open a tin of crab meat... With a sell by date of 3 years previously! Said its out of date he said its fine it's in a tin it doesn't go off its in a tin.. Also he somehow makes his takeaway Indian food last a week... I personally wouldn't touch it at that time frame, but apparently fine as it was in the fridge...
I give up telling him now. He lives by himself. If he wants to get ill he can... He's beyond help. We say so many times about it and he just doesn't care and reckons I'm being OTT.. And if I go to bin stuff he grabs it off me and puts it back (he's even got stuff out the bin before now!)

Ta1kinPeace · 28/01/2019 16:14

Cheese that is already a year old (proper cheddar or stilton) will not suffer for being kept an extra week
YABU

TheLostTargaryen · 28/01/2019 16:14

Sell by is a guide and can be ignored. Best by is fine to consume after but the food may have declined in quality.
Use by is the one you need to look at and even then common sense tell us that certain items aren't off until they're off.
Vegetables for example are fine until they either go soggy (though limp carrots, celery etc are perfectly fine for soups) or show signs of mould.
I wouldn't recommend keeping cold meats past theirs though.

Leaving food out overnight, as others have said, is a completely different issue. Bacteria would love that. If you want to keep it either refrigerate it yourself within a reasonable time or bin it. Don't let your DH give you food poisoning.

My MIL will cook a roast beef and she thinks it unhygienic to put it in the fridge so will return it back to Alger empty oven and use it from there over a few days. Envy(not envy). Mind you, she also washes chickens.

pastabest · 28/01/2019 16:14

The Mac and cheese would have been absolute fine. I would probably have frozen/fridges it too or more likely microwaved it and eaten it for elevenses

I worked on a deli counter. The whole cheeses in the back would have sell by dates of months and months and months, but when we cut a bit off for a customer it only got a weeks use-by date put on it. The same cheese.

Sirzy · 28/01/2019 16:16

If you know he doesn’t think the same as you with regards storing food then you should have took responsibility for storing it yourself.

Best before dates are just guides. There has been a big push recently to get people to realise this to reduce food waste

BertrandRussell · 28/01/2019 16:16

What was the best before date on the mussels?