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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

OH keeps food past it’s sell by and I want to kill him

290 replies

BellaFreckle1 · 28/01/2019 15:58

Ok so this is a really random subject but I need to know if anyone else is in the same boat as me ...

My OH is a nightmare for keeping food past it’s sell by date and claims it’s only a guideline. It’s starting to really upset me because imo he’s risking food poisoning and sickness. He also leaves cooked food on the kitchen worktop overnight and uncovered then freezes or refrigerates it the next day. I made Mac and cheese a couple nights ago and left the remains in the oven dish on the worktop and asked him to refrigerate it for the following days lunch. I got up in the morning to find it still sitting on the counter so I asked him to throw it in the bin and when I got home from work I found it in the freezer!!!

I know this is probably so trivial but it’s really upsetting me and I’m concerned that one of us is going to become really ill.

I accidentally threw out cheese that was within the sell by date and he almost started crying - honestly his eyes glazed over and he was so mad.

Any advice would be great - I need to nip this on the bud before one of us ends up sick!!

OP posts:
EggysMom · 28/01/2019 17:09

This feels like it's a reverse by my DH Grin

Nomdejeur · 28/01/2019 17:10

I eat chicken past it’s use buy if it passes the sniff test. I also eat food that’s been left out overnight, I usually put it on the side as it’s too warm to go in the fridge, then I forget until morning where I’ll pop it in the fridge.
I have a 10 yo and a 7 yo and I can count the amount of times they’ve had D&V on one hand.

lifetothefull · 28/01/2019 17:13

your oh is right. It’s fine.

OutPinked · 28/01/2019 17:13

Your OH is correct, sell by dates are just a guide and generally most products are fine well past that date. You should listen to the use by dates most of all but agreed with PP’s that if it smells and looks ok, it probably is. Common sense prevails here.

Also I would totally eat mac and cheese that had been left on the worktop over night. Presumably it had no meat or fish in it so it’s fine.

ImMeantToBeWorking · 28/01/2019 17:13

I have had bread within its sell by date with mold. Ate things past their sell by date with no issues.

The date printed on food, be it sell by, or use by is a guideline, the packaging will tell you this.

Cheese, butter etc are sound for 3 or 4 months, a few days is not going to make a difference. If there is mold, or a strange smell throw it out.

As for not refrigerating stuff, I would normally refrigerate everything, and defrost in the freezer too, unless it is something that is too hot to put into the fridge when I am going to bed, and I leave it out for the night. My kitchen is big with only one rad so it is never that warm so I am not too worried.

Hotterthanahotthing · 28/01/2019 17:13

You can reduce some worry by buying loose fruit and veg and get your cheese from the cheese counter,meat ditto.

Belenus · 28/01/2019 17:14

maybe I’ve not made my point strongly enough

You've gone from worrying about mac and cheese left out overnight, to an extreme and unusual case of food poisoning in which pasta was left out for 5 days and the patient had an underlying condition. The majority of people on here have said YABU. It's not that you haven't made your case strongly enough - you're just wrong.

Babdoc · 28/01/2019 17:15

I’ve eaten suet that was four years over its sell by date. It made some delicious herb dumplings and I was fine. Have you noticed that even TINS have sell by dates now?!
Ridiculous.
Young people need to learn how to assess food freshness with their own senses, rather than this nonsense of dates, which is causing massive food wastage.
My generation is used to looking, sniffing, then cutting any mouldy bits off. We couldn’t afford to throw food out!

sollyfromsurrey · 28/01/2019 17:15

'Sell by' is just that - the date by which the shop should sell the item allowing for time for the consumer to eat it. The 'best before' is really meaningless. It is a suggestion for when the food will taste it's best before. 'Use by' is the only one you need to abide by. If you are throwing food away by the 'sell by' date, then you are throwing away good food. Shame on you.

EvaHarknessRose · 28/01/2019 17:17

But if you can’t trust him, why ask him to do that particular job?

Once you see something left out too long, throw it away, or label it ‘dh only’.

These are not high risk foods, if you are fit and well, but its fine if you don’t want to then eat them yourself. Don’t get mad at him, just repeat that you won’t eat it as that is your preference.

TokenGinger · 28/01/2019 17:18

My DP is the same as your DP. It really doesn't bother me. If it's something I'm not comfortable eating, he says no problem, and makes it for himself.

Leaving out on the side this time of year isn't an issue to me. We eat quite late and leftovers wouldn't have time to cool to refrigerate before we go to bed so we put in tubs, leave on the side and refrigerate/freeze the following morning.

My DP is a bugger for pulling something out of the freezer then using it a week later which I definitely wouldn't do, but again, he's happy to eat and I eat separately.

He's never yet been poorly with it.

Aridane · 28/01/2019 17:19

I'm with DH here too, I'm afraid

3out · 28/01/2019 17:19

YABU. Food left out overnight is in an entirely different league to food left out for five days.

I’d be more concerned if your DH was putting stuff into the fridge or freezer before it had fully cooled down.

81Byerley · 28/01/2019 17:20

Sell by and use by dates are different.

diddl · 28/01/2019 17:20

"I have had bread within its sell by date with mold."

But did you eat it??

Original poster
BellaFreckle1 · 28/01/2019 17:21

RangeRider - I do absolutely everything in the house as I’m sure many of you do as well. I had come home from work, made dinner, done the dishes and asked my OH to refrigerate the pasta for me ... I don’t know how that can possibly be deemed a bad thing, it’s a small task that I asked him to do for me ... also, who would want to eat dried up pasta that had been sitting uncovered on a counter all night.

Maybe I need to accept that I’m a weirdo but over my dead body would I eat that ...

OP posts:
daduck · 28/01/2019 17:23

Well, why isn't he pulling his weight with the cooking and clearing up?

daduck · 28/01/2019 17:24

I should add. I do everything in the house because there's only really me here, except at the weekends, but no way would I be living with a man, both of us going to work, and him not pulling his weight in the house with the grunt work of housework. No way. Just as well I'm single :D

Bluelady · 28/01/2019 17:24

Team OH here. I use my eyes and nose and completely disregard dates. I'd have eaten the mac and cheese too, it's my favourite.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 28/01/2019 17:24

FFS, no wonder there's such an obscene level of food waste in this country.
I'd have eaten the macaroni cheese without a second thought.
We often eat stuff past its sell by - nobody has ever become ill.
YABU - use your nose, and your common sense - though sadly common sense is not so common any more.

Charlie97 · 28/01/2019 17:25

How many times has your OH had food poisoning from this type of thing?

LaurieMarlow · 28/01/2019 17:25

also, who would want to eat dried up pasta that had been sitting uncovered on a counter all night.

Heat it up and it will be fine. What difference does the fridge make to the flavour?

ClanoftheCaveBear · 28/01/2019 17:25

Depends what it is. If it’s chicken/ meat/ fish or milk YANBU.
If it’s cheese/ yoghurt/ bread/ veg/ fruit etc I go by smell, taste and appearance - within reason. I’ll eat yoghurts a few days past if they smell ok. Bread- check for mould. Fruit and veg - fairly obvious by looking at it surely?
Tins/ packets/ jars I cherish for a long time and rarely chuck once opened if not right.
You might have to loosen up a bit in April if SHTF.

LadyinLavende · 28/01/2019 17:25

I sympathise with you OP up to a point: as the article about the student shows, it is not really safe to reheat and eat cooked food that has been left for a long period of time (over 24 hours) at room temperature.
I have a similar DH problem in that he regularly gets mayonnaise or cream out of the fridge and then fails to put them back.
I have come home from work and discovered stuff sitting in full sun since lunchtime if he has eaten alone.
in the evening he has a nasty habit of moving stuff that should be refrigerated off the table (where I would see it and put it in the fridge before going to bed) and putting it next to the microwave which is not somewhere that I automatically check for "food that needs to go in the fridge", so it's out all night in a relatively warm kitchen.
But I certainly wouldn't tell him to chuck the mayonnaise: I do it myself, so that I know it's been done.
Where I don't agree with you is about sell by dates and best before. I use my nose and common sense. And a vegetable peeler to pare the mould off a lump of cheddar.

DH had a real go at me the other day - I didn't bother posting about it as someone would have said LTB.
I saw the next door neighbour in the street as I was putting my car away and as I needed to speak to her I left my shopping with cheese, butter, yoghurt, fresh pasta etc in a sealed cold bag in the car while I did so.
DH decided he wanted to use my car and got it out of the garage again before I had got back to ours.... and when I arrived from next door he started screaming and ranting and saying that he never wanted to hear me nag about him leaving food out overnight again and how many days had my shopping been in the car..........
He didn't even have the grace to apologise when I said less than 20 minutes. Maybe I should LTB.
But it does prove that he has taken on board what I say about putting stuff in the fridge.... he just doesn't always manage to do it!

wafflyversatile · 28/01/2019 17:26

If your DP likes to leave cooked food lying around for 5 days before eating it leave him to eat it himself.

The reason that story is in the papers is because it's so extreme and unusual.