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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

OH keeps food past it’s sell by and I want to kill him

290 replies

BellaFreckle1 · 28/01/2019 15:58

Ok so this is a really random subject but I need to know if anyone else is in the same boat as me ...

My OH is a nightmare for keeping food past it’s sell by date and claims it’s only a guideline. It’s starting to really upset me because imo he’s risking food poisoning and sickness. He also leaves cooked food on the kitchen worktop overnight and uncovered then freezes or refrigerates it the next day. I made Mac and cheese a couple nights ago and left the remains in the oven dish on the worktop and asked him to refrigerate it for the following days lunch. I got up in the morning to find it still sitting on the counter so I asked him to throw it in the bin and when I got home from work I found it in the freezer!!!

I know this is probably so trivial but it’s really upsetting me and I’m concerned that one of us is going to become really ill.

I accidentally threw out cheese that was within the sell by date and he almost started crying - honestly his eyes glazed over and he was so mad.

Any advice would be great - I need to nip this on the bud before one of us ends up sick!!

OP posts:
daduck · 28/01/2019 16:56

pasta is vile when frozen though. It goes all claggy.

RightOh · 28/01/2019 16:56

The reality is that food poisoning in your own kitchen is extraordinarily rare and the result of either stupidity, carelessness or extreme bad luck

Couldn't agree more!

I had food poisoning once.

I was cooking chicken in one pot, soup in another (simultaneously).

Guess which idiot 'tasted' the soup using the spoon that had touched the raw chicken?

I was vomming for two days!

onlywanttosleep · 28/01/2019 16:57

To add to the YABU.

If DH saves things you would throw away then don't eat them, leave them for him. He's an adult and can make his own choices.
My DH does leave rice lying about longer than is safe but he's done it all his life, never gets ill so I just make sure he doesn't feed it to me or the DC and leave him to it.

Original poster
BellaFreckle1 · 28/01/2019 16:59

I didn’t throw it in the bin because I do everything else in the house! I asked him to do one thing for me and I don’t think asking him to do a simple task is unreasonable.

The reason I posted this today is because I read a story on daily mail about a boy of 20 who ate pasta that had been lying on his countertop for 5 days and died in his sleep from food poisoning. This is the kind of think my oh would do - maybe I’ve not made my point strongly enough

OP posts:
RightOh · 28/01/2019 16:59

For the PP talking about the young guy who died after eating pasta - yes he had food poisoning but the medication he took damaged his liver so it was that too that led to death.

Poor guy.

Roussette · 28/01/2019 16:59

Yes, I am careful of rice. And we have no heating on overnight so anything left out would be fine.

Roussette · 28/01/2019 17:00

Of course you can't leave anything out for 5 days and eat it, OP !

But overnight in this cold weather is fine. Plus, don't waste your cheese, that's ridiculous

ReflectentMonatomism · 28/01/2019 17:02

YABVVVVVU to be reading the Daily Mail. Especially for food advice.

And there is so much difference between that story and your situation that you would have to be anxious, or a Daily Mail reader, to think they are related.

daduck · 28/01/2019 17:02

5 days left out is totally different to left out overnight.

Plus, how many people have their heating on overnight?

RightOh · 28/01/2019 17:02

From the pasta-death story, Dr Bernard said:

"It is important to note that this is not a typical food poisoning case. Many people eat pasta, or any other form of noodles, that are leftover for a day or two and they're fine."

OP, YABU. Chill out!

longtimelurkerhelen · 28/01/2019 17:02

Never eat food that has been left out overnight. I don't take much notice of sell by/use by dates but would never eat or freeze anything left out overnight. Also never freeze anything that has already been frozen, ie beef mince etc.

e1y1 · 28/01/2019 17:02

Really sorry for where it is f but how apt is this thread given an article ran today HERE

diddl · 28/01/2019 17:04

How far past dates are we talking?

If you know that he leaves stuff out overnight they you'll just have to refrigerate/freeze it yourself when cool enough.

On the whole I'm with your husband tbh.

If I know that I'm reheating something the next day, it rarely makes it to the fridge except during hot weather.

e1y1 · 28/01/2019 17:04

Oops just seen it's been mentioned. Have I made myself look foolish in not only RTFT but looking at (and worse believing) what DM write yes

LaurieMarlow · 28/01/2019 17:04

And there is so much difference between that story and your situation that you would have to be anxious, or a Daily Mail reader, to think they are related.

Exactly. In that case it was left out for 5 days and the medicine he took impacted his liver. The doctor interviewed said the following It is important to note that this is not a typical food poisoning case.

secondarymincepie · 28/01/2019 17:05

What a tragic waste of mac and cheese.

WhereYouLeftIt · 28/01/2019 17:05

You are both being unreasonable.

'Sell by' is for stock rotation at the shop. It's pretty meaningless.

'Best before' means a bit more. Still safe to eat after the date, just no longer at it's best - maybe a bit dried out, say, or wilted. Still safe to eat, but no longer at it's best.

'Use by' I take notice of. The implication is that it may not be as safe to eat after that date. Although even here, a bit of contingency will have been built in, so I will use after that date by performing my own 'sniff test'. Big difference between prawns (shelf life of a few days) and bacon (good for a month or so - it doesn't turn to poison overnight).

But yes, it's guidance. Use your common sense. Don't just chuck it on reflex, but also, your husband leaving cooked food out overnight is silly of him. Cooking kills the bacteria, but they're in the air all around us, and they will re-establish themselves fast. Warm moist food is a perfect environment for it to breed, and anyone risking making themselves ill in this way lacks basic common sense.

Food waste has been in the news lately, and the problems it causes. I tend to see prevention as better than cure, so maybe you should both be looking at changing your food buying patterns? Buy more frequently in smaller quantities so that the food isn't uneaten in your fridge long enough to get near its dates? And obviously if you could do that, you would remove this conflict between your different approaches. Win-win.

TheWernethWife · 28/01/2019 17:05

Same as food with sell off stickers in supermarkets, todays date will be fine for dinner/lunch tomorrow. It won't suddenly go poof/spoil at midnight.

I grew up in the 60's, didn't have all this palaver.

Plannergirl9 · 28/01/2019 17:06

Due to a number of serious medical conditions I am wary of use by dates especially chicken or fish. I get DH to do the sniff test for anything else. DH will happily eat anything out of date that looks and smells ok.

I think if you are in good health and are able to smell, keeping food beyond the use by dates is fine and helps reduce food waste. The if in doubt throw it out way is only acceptable for people who either have serious medical conditions or are not able to recognise that food is off and unsafe.

daisypond · 28/01/2019 17:06

I'm with your OP.

Roussette · 28/01/2019 17:07

When I haven't got room in my fridge if I'm doing lots of cooking, I leave a dish out in the garage overnight IN WINTER and it's colder than the fridge sometimes!

(I would not be doing this unless it was v cold outside)

Upsy1981 · 28/01/2019 17:09

Do things even have a sell by date on any more? Isn't it either use by or best before? Best before I don't really take much notice of if its not something that's been opened or something like sugar etc.

Use by I take note of if it's meat or fish (and even then I have been known to go a day over if its mince and it looks and smells OK. Chicken I wouldn't risk though). Milk I sniff first and if it still smells OK, I still use it. Veges I don't pay much attention to the date, I just feel them and look at them. If I bought them from a greengrocer or picked them from a field they would have no date on them.

Regarding leaving stuff out... I am quite careful but especially with meat. Not sure I would have eaten the mac and cheese that had been out overnight but if your DH wanted to take the risk I probably would have left him to it!

Short answer, I don't necessarily go off arbitrary dates. I use some common sense, depending on the item.

diddl · 28/01/2019 17:09

"I grew up in the 60's, didn't have all this palaver."

Just a larder!Grin

Vicky1990 · 28/01/2019 17:09

This seems to be a generation that has lost the common sense gene.
My grand parents had neither a fridge or a freezer, and no microwave oven, no bathroom or inside toilet.
Face washing, teeth cleaning and shaving was done in the kitchen sink, and one bath a week sharing the bath water.
Life then could be pretty basic for most working class families.
No food was ever thrown away as they had lived through the war and food rationing and knew the value of food, they brought up Five healthy children who were given home cooked meals to eat.
They went by the simple rule with food that if it looked OK, and smelt OK then it was fit to eat.
That is my principle now and I never go by the dates on food packaging.
I am not surprised your oh gets annoyed with you, throwing cheese away, ffs, unbelievable.