OH keeps food past it’s sell by and I want to kill him

[BellaFreckle1]

Ok so this is a really random subject but I need to know if anyone else is in the same boat as me ...

My OH is a nightmare for keeping food past it’s sell by date and claims it’s only a guideline. It’s starting to really upset me because imo he’s risking food poisoning and sickness. He also leaves cooked food on the kitchen worktop overnight and uncovered then freezes or refrigerates it the next day. I made Mac and cheese a couple nights ago and left the remains in the oven dish on the worktop and asked him to refrigerate it for the following days lunch. I got up in the morning to find it still sitting on the counter so I asked him to throw it in the bin and when I got home from work I found it in the freezer!!!

I know this is probably so trivial but it’s really upsetting me and I’m concerned that one of us is going to become really ill.

I accidentally threw out cheese that was within the sell by date and he almost started crying - honestly his eyes glazed over and he was so mad.

Any advice would be great - I need to nip this on the bud before one of us ends up sick!!

I would also have eaten the macaroni cheese. We don't keep a very warm house and heating goes off at night so our kitchen is pretty cool overnight. I've been cooking for years and I also smell things and use my eyes and nose to guide me. With meat I will make sure I use it before the use by date but otherwise, things like fruit and veg etc I use what it looks like as my rule of thumb. Incredibly wasteful otherwise.

A friend's mum does this. It's become an obsession now to the point she will peel off sell by/use by dates so theyve no chance of being seen by anyone who eats at hers.

It upsets my friend as she has youngish DCs and doesn't want them to eat there. Now her mum's annoyed and even more devious about it. She seems gleeful when she gets people to eat.

She started off like your H, and it progresses over the years to her current stage. Not saying he'd progress to this stage but often people take stuff at face value instead of thinking there may be something deeper behind his behaviour. If you actively leave food out like that then of course it's a compulsion if some sort.

I don't forget to put food in fridge as I can see it. & I'm mindful.

As for the "just chuck it away" crew or those who eat food left out overnight - not everyone likes regularly wasting food (I think that's abhorrent and not everyone can afford to throw away food either) nor eating food that's been sat on a worktop for hours on end) overnight. & Why should they?

OP you'll just have to add to your mental load and put stuff away yourself as I doubt your H will listen to your concerns. He's not interested.

He's right about sell-by dates. They should guarantee food is of a suitable standard to sell on that date, nothing to do with eating. That's a use-by date. Even that is only guidance.

Throwing out food just because it's past its sell by date, at home, is madly wasteful and unecessary.

You can tell if most food is off by looking, sniffing and tasting.

Leaving stuff out at room temperature overnight really is a bad idea though.

Over-all you sound as ignorant of food safety and hygeine as each other and should perhaps do a bit of learning together.

I think one of the worst things of the last twenty years is a generation who regard food as being like plutonium, dangerous unless handled with massive precautions. The reality is that food poisoning in your own kitchen is extraordinarily rare and the result of either stupidity, carelessness or extreme bad luck. If people like the OP spent a tenth of the time learning how to handle food sensibly that they do panicking over arbitrary dates, we could massively reduce food waste and they would save a lot of money.

You're right. It's trivial.

I’m team OH too, so much food gets chucked away, there’s also many food that don’t actually need to be refrigerated, cheese and milk being left out won’t kill anyone, it will go off quicker but left out overnight won’t hurt so the Mad and cheese would have been fine, I would have eaten it. The only things I’m careful with is chicken, seafood/fish and rice (reheating rice). Most use by dates are out by several day so if something smells fine it probably is fine.

If you actively leave food out like that then of course it's a compulsion if some sort.

Pardon? What on earth is compulsive about it? I don't like to mess up the temperature of my fridge by putting warm food in it. So if I cook in the evening, I'll often leave things out overnight. How on earth do you think people survived before refrigeration was invented?

reheating rice

Even that risk is massively overstated. It's perfectly possible to reheat rice safely.

www.nhs.uk/common-health-questions/food-and-diet/can-reheating-rice-cause-food-poisoning/

I ignire use by dates. Just sniff it. Rarely get ill. Bit wary of rice though

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Also team OH. I was baking earlier. Best before date on my box of eggs was 17 January. I filled a bowl with water, checked the eggs didn't float, and (whispers) I used them.

Do you never buy anything which doesn't have a date on it? What about fruit, veg or cheese from the market?

Chucking out perfectly good food because of a number on the packaging is wasteful and really pisses me off. We have huge issues with food waste in this country. Give a shit about the planet and use your perfectly trustworthy senses.

Agree with him too.

There is far too much unnecessary food waste. Things like fish and meat or rice shouldn't be left out once cooked but macaroni cheese would have been fine.

I grew up a long time ago and when I was a small child we didn't have a fridge, most homes didn't but we kept food overnight; we had what was called a meat safe, which was a special little cupboard in a very cool part of the larder made especially to keep fresh meat in for a couple of days or so. We certainly were not in the habit of chucking out food left right and centre as a great many people seem to do nowadays.

If food looks and smells fine it's generally okay to eat.

Things do not generally suddenly go off at midnight on the day of the use by or best before date.

I think one of the worst things of the last twenty years is a generation who regard food as being like plutonium, dangerous unless handled with massive precautions

Totally agree with this.

Seriously though. My kitchen is cold - I don't have any heat on in it and I have crappy single glazed windows. I would bet, unless the cooker is on, that it's around 6 or 7 degrees C in there today.

My living room is warm, but the kitchen and the hall are cold because the heat is off.

What harm is it going to do to leave food in a cold space overnight to cool down before storing in fridge or freezer?

Do you never buy anything which doesn't have a date on it? What about fruit, veg or cheese from the market?

Don't go there, ALG. That's precisely why idiots some people avoid buying stuff other than from supermarkets: the lack of dates.

You're being massively OTT on this. Sell by isn't a thing. Best before means next to nothing and even use by dates tend to be cautious and you should use your own senses before binning.

Refrigeration slows down bacterial growth, so maybe a refrigerated mac and cheese has 1k bacteria and non-refrigerated has 2k bacteria (numbers used for illustrative purposes only). Either way if you reheat it properly those bacteria will (mostly) be killed.

You're wasting perfectly good food.

I'm with your OH I'm afraid.

My eyes and nose tell me if something is OK or not and 'Best Before' and 'Sell By' really are guidelines.

With 'Use By' I'm much more cautious but will allow a day or two if my eyes and nose tell me all is well. Oh and I'M ALIVE! I'm also very rarely ill and I've never (touches wood) had food poisoning.

I would have used those eggs too @AnneLovesGilbert. I would have floated them in water and used them as long as the water test indicated that they were fine.

What do people who chuck stuff out with abandon do? Stand by the fridge at midnight stuffing their faces with all the stuff that's going out of date, and bin it all at 12.01?

I'm too skint to do that - I try not to have food waste, but I can't afford to throw out stuff that's still Ok - even meat I'd use the next day or even 2 days after use by as long as it smelt ok.

Rarely ill in this house.

And the meat I buy I get from mostly from a local butcher and it doesn't have a date on it anyway.

DH once bought a bottle of mineral water that had a sell by date on. How likely is that to have gone off - it's millions of years old already!

I'm with your husband. You sound completely over-anxious and neurotic. Do you have anxiety issues.

Dates are only guidelines.

He should cover food up.
I make tonnes of meals, lasagne, spag Bol, curry. Cover and then eat another time. Or freeze.

I hate food waste. I ignore use by dates and use good old sight and smell. Lots of food is FINE left out - even meat.

The one item of food I'm careful with is rice.

Your DH would be very welcome in our house!

How many times have you actually had food poisoning from home cooked food?! You're worrying needlessly.

I made Mac and cheese a couple nights ago and left the remains in the oven dish on the worktop and asked him to refrigerate it for the following days lunch. I got up in the morning to find it still sitting on the counter so I asked him to throw it in the bin and when I got home from work I found it in the freezer!!!

That won't kill you ffs.

Why on earth are you chucking cheese out? I take the wrapper off mine to put in a cheese container and have no idea when the sell by date is. If it's got mould on it, I cut it off. It's fine.

Ditto eggs. There's some in our fridge now that were reduced because they'd reached their sell by date. That was last week. DH had 2 this morning. You'd be able to tell a gone off egg I can promise you!

I don't take much notice of sell by dates to be honest. I've been married for decades, we take no notice of sell by dates.

(Disclaimer - last year's hot summer made me more vigilant because of the heat)

It's been in the news today that a young man has died after eating pasta that was left out, for five days iirc.