This is long, sorry.
At the end of my tether. All I seem to do is put on the dishwasher, clean the kitchen down, hoover the house through, sort and push through all the washing, empty bins around the house, sorting out the recycling, dusting, pick things up off the floor, put things back in kid's rooms, take dishes out of their room, trip over their shoes, trip over their clothes, pick up piles of takeaway cartons, clean the bathroom daily (which is always really mucky because of DS's job). Forget the fact I'm doing a degree, run a business and trying to improve my own physical wellbeing after a spate of ill health.
I am sick of it.
I have 3. Two adult children and one who's still junior school age. DS moved back in to our spare room a few months back after the breakdown of his marriage to get some breathing space financially. We don't charge him rent or bills. He pays for his own food and does his own cooking. However I usually have to clean up behind him or sort out his washing as it's just left everywhere. Every other weekend he has his daughter (granddaughter) visit for 2 nights - and I usually end up doing the bathing, bedtime routine and babysitting for her whilst he goes out for the evening. I get no lie-in on those weekends because she comes to me to make her brekkie, etc. This weekend I put my foot down and didn't - suddenly I don't love my granddaughter anymore, according to him. Not to mention the piles of toys around the house because we are short of storage space for them.
My DD is better, she does things in spurts but thinks once she's done a few tasks she doesn't need to do anything for the rest of the month and constantly reminds me of when she cleaned the last time.
My youngest is disabled and is making good progress with her life and independence skills, does the dishwasher 2 nights a week, works hard to keep to her personal welfare routine and generally makes no mess outside her bedroom.
Recently I said I was going to put up a cleaning rota because I was sick of living in a pigsty and needed more order back in the house. I was met with rebellion and offers to pay for a cleaner. I can afford a cleaner, but I want my kids to tidy up after themselves and I'm happy to tidy up after myself. I just feel they are really, really lazy and don't understand the importance of personal responsibility and being responsible for the mess they create in their lives, whether it's refuse or something else.
Hubby works away and even when he was home he was 50/50 with everything that needed doing in the house before DS came home. So this situation is alien to me and is driving me nuts! I'm just constantly moaning about the state of the house and it's met with 'it's your house' or 'your'e the mum in the house'.
AIBU to enforce this rota today and if they don't like it then they can find somewhere else to live? No matter how many hours a week I do it always feels dirty/unkempt with a never-ending view of mess from my kids, it's bad for my mental health and it just feels like they are taking me for granted, disrespecting me and don't understand the commitments I've got going on in my life that need my time and attention. Those commitments are suffering because of the time it takes to keep the house from falling into a rotten mess.
Or should I just suck it up as part of being a mother with kids at home?