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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how many guests you had at your wedding? Is ours overly small?

119 replies

DiamondMine1 · 27/01/2019 10:08

I guess by this I mean people that have NOT purposefully had a very small wedding.

Getting married in June, we have approximtely 75 day guests, with probably another 10-20 in the evening.

I was having my nails done the other day, and the nail lady mentioned she was getting married in May and we were talking weddings. She was saying how much it was costing them at their venue per head and they were going over budget slightly. I said yeh, ours is pretty expensive per head too, and with around 80 day guests it certainly wasn’t working out cheap.

She seemed surprised and said ‘Oh only a small wedding then?’ I said ‘Err, yeh I guess?’ And she laughed and said ‘I’d class 80 as small, we’ve got so many friends and family between us, ours is working out about 100 on each side.’

She wasn’t being deliberately mean or anything, she just seemed surprised that we only had 80 guests.

I actually had a friend comment similar the other month. It’s making me feel like people are going to be thinking we’re Billy no mates or something Sad The thing is, I’m very sociable, but DP isn’t. He has a group of 6 men that are his best friends and that is it. He’s having 1 evening guest, an old work colleague and that’s it. He’s an only child and is estranged from his extended family so it’s just his parents attending from his family and that’s it. So I guess what I’m saying is, one side of us is only inviting about 10 people which shortens the numbers quite considerably!

Don’t get me wrong, it’s a wedding not a popularity contest FFS, but I guess all the weddings I’ve been to have probably been 150ish by the evening so we are probably on the low side in terms of numbers.

I just feel this huge pressure to have lots of guests, even my hen do list when I gave it to my MOH, she said ‘There’s only 10 names, are you sure that’s all you want?!’ Hmm I was like, well yes, my 9 closest friends and my mum! Who else would I invite?! Loads of random people that I haven’t seen for years? Is 10 people a small hen do?!

Have I lost tough with reality?! I just think, realistically, to have weddings with say 200 people, do people really know and hang out with 100 people regularly?

Are we odd/ Billy no mates?!

OP posts:
Nicebudget · 27/01/2019 10:44

Come on she was being bitchy and you know it!
We had 80 at ours. I can think of at least 10 now that we wouldn't invite if we could go back and change it now, I don't think I've even seen some of them since!
We had a perfect wedding day it was brilliant. Do what you want however you want it. Ignore what others are doing.

YahBasic · 27/01/2019 10:44

45 in total for the full day, we didn’t want to do day/night guests.

It meant we got to speak and genuinely spend time with everyone there. I don’t understand how you’d be able to say more than just a quick passing hello to many more than that.

Nala8 · 27/01/2019 10:46

9 at ours and it was perfect

longhaulstress · 27/01/2019 10:46

I work in weddings and at our venue the average is 60 to the day with another 40 at night.
Plus a lot of wedding packages you see at other hotels are often for 60 in the day so I'd say 80 is slightly larger than average.

EnoughSnowAlready · 27/01/2019 10:51

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking. 700 invitations! 400 Evening guests! How?

Aquathest · 27/01/2019 10:52

Approximately 200 guests at our wedding - I have a really large family and was fortunate that parents paid, so our guests included some family members that had last seen me as a toddler!
We both had a fantastic memorable day but as PP said, when trying to greet all your guests, having triple figures is a ridiculous amount to get around to speak to Confused

Only 6 people to my hen do as I kept it to only my best friends who I speak to regularly.

So my wedding and hen do were a complete contrast in numbers. I guess I can be classed as Billy no mates or excessive depending on which event you look at! Grin

Chocolate1984 · 27/01/2019 10:52

We had 78 during the day and maybe another 10 at night? We only invited people we like and spend time with. We didn’t invite aunts, cousins or people we hardly see.

Erismorn · 27/01/2019 10:53

Ours was us, the celebrant, the photographer and the helicopter pilot (who both acted as witnesses). Yours sounds like a very well populated wedding in comparison!

It's your wedding. Do what makes you happy.

everydaymum · 27/01/2019 10:53

We had 60, but if we did it again now I could easily take it down to 30.

notdaddycool · 27/01/2019 10:55

I slightly regret having too many, maybe 120, almost exclusively from my side as my wife is from overseas. A decade or so on there aren’t many I’m still in regular contact with. Actually there are several I haven’t seen since that day. Don’t have people for the hell of it.

Cocolepew · 27/01/2019 10:56

60, maybe 15 -20 more at night.

Winnie2019 · 27/01/2019 10:59

We got married over 20 years ago and had 100 guests and that was considered huge back then. The average was usually around 60. Weddings have got so much bigger these days!

blueangel1 · 27/01/2019 10:59

We're probably having between 40 and 50. There will be no hen do, I'm far too old for that shit.

BaronessBomburst · 27/01/2019 10:59

We had about 40-45. And no evening do.

flowery · 27/01/2019 11:00

We had I think 90ish during the day and another 20ish for the evening. But if we were doing it now I’d have fewer if possible.

SauvingnonBlanketyBlanc · 27/01/2019 11:02

Im going to a wedding with 10 guests next month.Yours isn't small

AlpacaLypse · 27/01/2019 11:02

100+ means there is no way you're going to be able to do anything more than say 'Hello Thank you for coming' to most of them. Followed by 'Bye hope you have a safe journey home' at the end. I'd be perfectly happy with direct relatives and 10-20 friends.

Thingsdogetbetter · 27/01/2019 11:02

Love to know how often they see each of their 200 'close' friends and family? Once a month in passing? Once a year for a quick catch up? Lol

HopeGarden · 27/01/2019 11:04

Thinking back to the weddings I’ve been to, I’d say 70-80 guests has been the average sort of size.

CrazyKitkatLady · 27/01/2019 11:08

We had 80 at ours and it didn't feel small at all. Too many more and it would have been a real struggle to get round and speak to everyone!

Cakeandslippers · 27/01/2019 11:09

We had about 50 people in total and it was perfect! It didn't feel small to me. We only invited people we know well and regularly speak to and it meant we could speak to everyone throughout the day. Plus, as they were all people we are touch with, many of the guests knew each other and said after how relaxed and fun it was.
Do whatever you want to do... doesn't matter what anyone else does!

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 27/01/2019 11:10

We had about 30.

Glitterblue · 27/01/2019 11:12

We had 60 daytime and more at night but not a huge amount more. It was a perfect size. Do what's right for you.

Threeminis · 27/01/2019 11:12

We had 80 during the day 120 (actually ended up being 122) at night.

But, I have a huge family.

I think your numbers are absolutely fine.

nimski · 27/01/2019 11:12

35 in the day, close friends and family. 60 more invited to evening. Was perfect.