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AIBU?

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Original poster

To go back to this house?

496 replies

trapped2019 · 27/01/2019 06:33

We're trying to move house.

I hate where I live.

We've sold ours and found somewhere that we thought was perfect.

Got survey done, arranged removals, almost got to exchange etc. Then we went back for another viewing to measure up.

The vendor was starting to remove fixtures and fittings, things were broken and dirty.

We pulled out.

Since then, we have found nothing else. Nothing.

The vendor of that house put it back on the market and sold it last week.

Would it be even worth our time going back to them?

We could complete in a week and I know the vendor has already bought his new place so is paying two mortgages. He could move much more quickly with us than with his new buyers. Would that count?

I can't sleep for worrying about this. I'm in tears at thought of being trapped in our current home.

Help!

OP posts:
WereYouHareWhenIWasFox · 28/01/2019 04:25

But why would the OP choose to stay living there if it makes them so unhappy, when they could rent in the other area. That’s what is so unbelievable. How is renting “dead money”?

HeronLanyon · 28/01/2019 04:29

wereyou - agreed.

NewYoiker · 28/01/2019 04:36
Biscuit
KirstyAllsoppsFatterTwin · 28/01/2019 04:49

The vendor of that house put it back on the market and sold it last week.

Would it be even worth our time going back to them?

depends how desperate they are. If they are not in a desperate hurry they's probably enjoy telling you to fuck off. The reasons you pulled out were ridiculous.

If your current place is a bad as you say then I'd be VERY keen not to lose my buyers. I'd complete and move into rental for a while if need be. You have the financial means. Don't lose your buyer. Bite their hand off before they think too hard about the crackhead situation.

KirstyAllsoppsFatterTwin · 28/01/2019 05:02

OK, I've seen now that he was taking out integrated appliances and lighting. I was thinking if he was actually removing the whole kitchen it must have been mentioned on the F&F and you'd somehow overlooked it.

I suspect he may have been replacing them with cheap, second hand alternatives and keeping really decent newly new appliances and lighting he really liked, possibly? If the F&F form didn't mention brands that would be easy enough to do.

That would be very underhand of him and you should have pressed him on what he was doing AT THE TIME YOU SAW HIM DOING IT and halted the sale until you were confident the fixtures were being sold as first seen. It's bizarre that you don't appear to have had a conversation about this while you were there.

Losing the house over it seems an extreme thing to happen when you'd spent so much money on getting to exchange stage, I must say. Even the dog shit (if that is really what it was) is horrifying, but not worth losing a good house over.

Mummyoflittledragon · 28/01/2019 05:23

I used to be that black and white thinker. Therapy helped. A lot. My brain is no longer full of shit and worms. Such a relief.

Blessingsdragon1 · 28/01/2019 05:57

Rent - it's not dead money it's helping you make a better investment with the money you have - there will be a movement of new properties onto the market in the next few months as always in Spring.

Blessingsdragon1 · 28/01/2019 05:58

Plus bring cash buyers in no chain will give you considerable leverage - you could very possibly more than offset the rent

Bluesheep8 · 28/01/2019 06:04

All houses look awful once furniture is removed and packing starts. We visited to measure up when the vendor had started to move stuff and pack and I nearly cried at the state of the carpets and the amount of rust on radiators which had been concealed by sofas.

ISpeakJive · 28/01/2019 06:07

OP, I don’t suppose this desperate, sudden desire to move is so you can TTC # 2?

EngagedAgain · 28/01/2019 06:23

Blue, yes there used to be a standing joke about finding a big chunk out of a carpet or wall.

Original poster
trapped2019 · 28/01/2019 06:43

This thread is bizarre- but not because of me.

Sort of odd, mass-hysteria pile on now with lots of strange assumptions.

People genuinely think I should spend £1k a month on rent? Plus agency fees and all that bollox? Just so I don't upset my poor buyers? Other wise I'm clearly a terrible person...

One person earlier on the thread told me to fuck off and die.

It's ok. It's AIBU. You get a fast response and a range of opinions, but also actual lunatics.

OP posts:
Moretinsel · 28/01/2019 06:49

You don’t like the advice so you’re defensive. Standard behaviour!

LIZS · 28/01/2019 06:53

You might easily be able to recoup your rent costs as a discount for being a cash buyer on future. Plus you could be in a better place , mentally and physically, while you wait.

Original poster
trapped2019 · 28/01/2019 07:07

There's been some great advice on this thread. Also some loons who think I'm the wicked witch of the west.

No, not renting. Renting is shit, been there, done that.

OP posts:
Blessingsdragon1 · 28/01/2019 07:15

Your name is appropriate as you are trapped in closed mind thinking - 6 month's rent at 1k could be easily offset in loads of potential ways by being a cash buyer ready to move. You my dear are the naive loon X hope that helps - I do so doubt it though as you hardly seam the most rational type

MacarenaFerreiro · 28/01/2019 07:17

People genuinely think I should spend £1k a month on rent? Plus agency fees and all that bollox? Just so I don't upset my poor buyers?

FFS. You are being so dense over this renting issue.

What you're failing to see is that renting will get you out of the "shithole" which you hate so much. It also puts you in a much stronger position when the perfect property comes up in 3 or 6 months time. If you're paying a mortgage anyway, you're still paying. (Unless you're mortgage free, which you haven't mentioned).

But you know what? Stay where you are. Stay miserable and stay feeling hard done by.

LaurieMarlow · 28/01/2019 07:18

No, not renting. Renting is shit, been there, done that.

Fine. Just don't come back on here whinging if you lose your buyer and can't find another one.

Mummyoflittledragon · 28/01/2019 07:29

Renting is shit been there, done that.

Yes because every landlord is awful apart from you when you rented your place out obvs. Hmm

You sound very very inexperienced with buying and selling. You’ve had some great advice. Had it explained to you that you will have far more leverage if coming with no chain. Probably even save the 10 k you’ll spend renting.

I like some others on this thread have both rented and lived in owned properties and have experience of buying and selling. I also have a small portfolio of properties and can categorically tell you you’re making a very silly move. But hey ho. That’s your choice love.

Quartz2208 · 28/01/2019 07:32

You have called yourself trapped - one way out is to leave the area you are in by selling and renting (short term) in your preferred area

This will enable you to properly see the area and exactly where you want to go get a feel for living there and also be able to move quickly

At the moment I would be surprised if you do keep your buyer and you will be back to square one and needing to find a buyer again

At the moment you are trapped but not because of what your previous seller did but because of you and your partner and your inability to see different ways forward

ChesterGreySideboard · 28/01/2019 07:36

People genuinely think I should spend £1k a month on rent? Plus agency fees and all that bollox? Just so I don't upset my poor buyers?

It’s got nothing to do with your buyers.
You seem very unhappy about where you live at the moment and renting in the short term would enable you to get out of your current house and wait for the right house to come up.
Yes it looks like a lot of money wasted when you add up 6 months rent but don’t forget you will not be paying mortgage interest and you will be gaining interest on the money from the sale of your house.

MeetJoeTurquoise · 28/01/2019 07:39

I can't believe the Op is still being so obtuse Confused

The only person who could be described as hysterical is you Op I'm afraid.

I have a family member whose savings are far greater than yours and they have a substantial six figure salary not boasting just trying to demonstrate how much of a snob op appears to be , their house had buyers, they hadn't found a new house yet, they put everything in storage and rented. It wasn't shit, it afforded them time to find their perfect home. Stop being so utterly ridiculous.

HeronLanyon · 28/01/2019 07:41

Op why not read our attempts to help you ? The answer to you last question is 1. Yes. 2. No to the last part. You just don’t seem able to think outside of your own very warped view of things. I for one wish you well but I’ve had more than enough of spending time on this. Learn to listen/ read/ think.

GlasgowWorrier · 28/01/2019 07:43

We sold, then rented a nice house for six months while we looked for the right place. The total cost of the rent was (a) slightly less per month than the mortgage we’d been paying, and (b) less than half the chunk of cash we were able to negotiate off the asking price, as we were chain-free cash buyers.

I think this is one situation in which renting really isn’t dead money at all.

fancynancyclancy · 28/01/2019 07:44

We were renting before we bought & would always aim to sell & then rent again before we buy. Personally I think it makes you a lot more attractive to not be in a chain & have the ability to move quickly, & it often costs less overall.

Plus renting is not dead money if you have to secure your DC’s school place & you hate where you live.

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