To not want this couple at my wedding?

[LemonadeAndSchnapps]

We are due to get married in May of this year. All of the wedding stress is starting to build now. I've tried my best to make it work for everyone; a hen do everyone wanted, dresses all the bridesmaids would feel comfortable in, etc. But now it's all starting to slot into place.

The best man has been a bit rubbish. He hasn't yet organised the stag, and generally had been uninterested. Told my chief bridesmaid that he just didn't care about the wedding. I'm not expecting everyone to care about my wedding as me, but I think that comment hurt my DP.

And then on Thursday he dropped out! His reasoning was that he said that nothing would get done if it was left to him. This is the most organised man I know, so I pressed to see if there was another reason and he didn't have one. I'm seriously at a loss as to why he would do this, other than genuinely not caring about my DP that much. I don't think it helps that my bridesmaids are awesome and all falling over each other to help!

We are part of a friendship group and have always been very close, but now I just don't want this man and his partner to come. I feel they have really hurt my partner and I don't want them there. But I don't want this to be a huge bridezilla reaction. Invitations have already gone out. Would it be unreasonable to tell them I don't want them there?

Whether you mean to or not you come across really controlling. It may be how you've worded things. I still think it's up to your OH to speak to him - it doesn't need to be some intense chat. I think you need to keep out of it, also your chief bridesmaid needs to learn the act of discretion and let your OH deal with it. If no stag do is organised then so be it, but your OH needs to start taking some responsibility now.

LemonadeAndSchnapps

no worries.

I don't think that you are a bridezilla, I just think that you have handled this wrong

Totally agree.

Could you or your DP take him out for a drink and try get to the bottom.of what's gone wrong?

I think the magnanimous thing to do would be to speak to him directly, since he has known you longer, and tell him there are no hard feelings and delighted he can still come to the wedding in the capacity of guest.

You might want to ask him if there is anything you have done which contributed to his decision, but otherwise try to be gracious,