To think tv sex is so far fetched! <jealous>

[gentlyscented]

Me and dh have been watching power and to say the sex scenes are some right hot stuff would be an understatement 🤭

All these women with great tits and pert bums is making me feel..well a little bit of a shambles 🙈

These men are able to pick these women up and throw them around like a rag doll and not even get a sweat on fgs.

Dh is sitting here at the other end of the sofa with his jaw basically resting on his lap. And I'm trying hard not to gawp so obviously at omari's firm round arse 🙈

All the time im thinking of the states me and dh are ( I'm sat here in penguin pjs with fluffy bed socks and a matching penguin eye mask on my forehead, while dh is chomping down on his steak and kidney pie. In my dressing and my slippers that are 5 sizes to small for him so only the toes are covered) we're not even half sexy looking tonight.

And the chance of us having some spontaneous, rip your cloths off sex is 0% since our house is like Piccadilly fucking Circus with dc teenage friends walking through the living room every five fucking seconds 🙈

I know it's only tv 🙈 but I'm wondering does anyone else feel inadequate when watching these kind of scenes or is it just me 🤭

I've been recently made to watch quite a lot of American teenage crap with my nieces (13-15). The unrealistic sex scenes extend to here, as well. I feel obligated to tell them that, when it does happen, they probably won't have a conveniently empty house, it will hurt considerably more than they ever show, the boy WILL have to wear a condom (they never show this, wtf!) and that there will probably be quite a lot more acne, inopportune body hair and awkward positioning than Pretty Little Liars ever deigned to show them.

We had a power binge yesterday, little ones were with grandparents so thought we'd make the most of our free time. Watched 6 episodes and I never thought I'd get sick of seeing the leads naked body but my god him and Angela's sex scenes were boring me to tears I ended up fast forwarded a few. Much to dh disgust 🤣 but it did make me think that me and dh could probably do with some sex therapy or something as I'm clearing missing out on some fantastic under the sheets action 😬🙃

I laugh at how some often there is near fully dressed sex. Just a couple of buttons and fly done and it’s slid in just like that.

There was a scene in You when Beck and Joe had sex of a ferry. It was just ridiculous.

All sex scenes should by law include a foreplay montage indicating at LEAST ten minutes of preparatory activity.

My other new law is that 70% of all sex scenes must feature some kind of clitoral stimulation, none of this bang-bang-come-come nonsense.

Had anyone seen Sex Education yet?

Lots of unrealistic sex there too (as well as all the teenage cringe ones) - and shagging in classrooms etc. Makes me wonder if I missed out when I was at school!

“Had anyone seen Sex Education yet?”

Started it last night. It’s very weird. Seems to be set in the UK but with an American style high school set up. A few good actors in it though, particularly the “bad girl”.

I'm only 5 foot tall and when I was younger I would get thrown about a lot and thrown into some positions. I'm now 4-5 stone heavier and can barely touch my toes and haven't had sex in over 6 years. I dream of those days..........

Yes It's deliberately Americanised - the theory being Americans won't notice but Brits will. It's sort of 70s-current too.

Teenagers having all that successful sex. Not real!

Also mostly filmed in Symonds Yat which is beautiful...

Lots of unrealistic sex there too (as well as all the teenage cringe ones) - and shagging in classrooms etc. Makes me wonder if I missed out when I was at school!

I had this exact convo a few days ago

But then I hung out on the library reading about ghosts so unless there was gonna be the remake of the entity, I pretty much was on the " i didn't even know she existed" list.

I've always wondered why no one ever legs it to the sink to spit either. And that much noise is not necessary .

Lol at your husband's attire, please do say the slippers are unicorn ones. He's clearly at one with his self image if he doesn't mind teenage dc friends clocking him. I expect much piss taking goes on out of ear shot. Good for you though.

Mine's grown over so no comment on the sex.

We were watching an early episode of "Orphan Black", where Sarah was hoisted up on to the kitchen counter.

I knew we'd officially reached the status of 'Old Gimmers' when it led to a discussion of which disinfectant the couple would need to use to clear up the aftermath.

(Dettol won, just in case anyone was interested...)

Has anyone in real life, had that up against the wall sex where the man picks the woman up and she wraps her legs round him? If you have managed it, respect. But I bet there was some grunting and repositioning involved.

I knew we'd officially reached the status of 'Old Gimmers' when it led to a discussion of which disinfectant the couple would need to use to clear up the aftermath

I'm usually seething at the waste of the food that's sat un-eatej and the wine that's un-drunk on the table for the dinner they were blatantly never going to get round to eating

That and wondering how uncomfortable it must be on those stairs and who has the tap end of the cold bath...

I felt like that when we watched Power! Those tits and bums could bounce! It actually concerned me too and, after thinking on it for a few weeks, I broached the subject with DH. He assures me he's perfectly happy with our cosy, comfortable sex, always in the spooning position lately, often with fleecy pj's round my ankles and constant reminders for him to not accidentally knock my agonising ingrown toenail. He said it's the quantity not the quality that counts.

😂😂😂 pmsl and rofl ma do you mean quality? Or does he actually mean quantity? Nothing like an ingrown to keep the ardour going (this may be a turn on for him?)

Cookiedough123 Fri 25-Jan-19 21:43:48
Sorry but a bean juice phobia is so real.. it makes me heave 🤤🤤

I think they should sell tins of just the juice. Goes lovely all over chips & sausage roll.

@MaMisled 🤣🤣 crying 😂😂

Also there's no getting it in the wrong hole!

They do all this ferocious changing position sex but they never hit the chocolate factory 🤔 no rolling around the bed crying thinking your gonna have to have surgery to correct the damaged perineum.

I'm howling at this in my office 😂😂😂

Well this has certainly brightened up a boring Monday afternoon!

God yes. And porn gives people unrealistic expectations (gives dh the side eye)

DP can pick me up and throw me around a fair bit but a sustained carry? More difficult considering he only weighs half a stone more than me....

Also the women always have perfectly matched lovely underwear and never any pubes poking out iof their knickers......like me who only waxes when I go on holiday wish I was always so groomed and ready to go

We can live of our memories...

All these ladies must have fannies like the mersey tunnel. Straight up there without touching the sides. Like throwing a stick up an alley.

And then afterwards it's just pants up and get on your way. No clean-up required apparently. Smingey buggers.