8 year old refuses to give up dummy!

[Throughthewardrobe664]

Ds is 8 and still has a dummy at bedtime. I think that he's far too old for it, it has had an effect on his teeth causing them to grow in squint. OH however doesn't find this a big deal and says "just let him have it," "it's not that big a deal" "he'll lose it in his own time." Well so far he hasn't lost it, and it's beginning to get ridiculous. I have butt heads with him and MIL over this before, neither of them see the problem.

I've posted about this same thing about two years ago, when MIL helped a lot with child care. She no longer does this often but still very much backs up OH in saying that it can stay. Every time I've tried to get rid of then, OH or MIL caves. This infuriatesme, but in the end I always accept it.

Is this more normal/acceptable than it seems and I'm making a mountain out of a molehill? I feel terrible for taking away his comfort, but it REALLY needs to go. And support or strategies anyone out there has?

[Seline]

That

I don't think you can say they're unnecessary. Some kids really need to suck and others need to learn to suck due to prematurity.

I have three nicu children, one term but sick and two 26 weekers. They all struggled with sucking. Only one actually likes a dummy though.

[NotANotMan]

Cold turkey x 3 is the only way you will break this I reckon if he's likely to seek out one of the younger kids' dummies

Really you should be able to be rational with him and do a reward chart etc but if he's going to kick off then they all have to go
At least it will prevent the other two having a dummy to age 8!

[Peaspleaselouise]

Does he not see himself that he's too old??

[starlitsky]

I would definitely suggest trying to go cold turkey with all three however difficult it may be at the start.

I had a dummy until 7 and am embarrassed to admit that I still suck my thumb every night (now 28) and even have to stop myself doing it in the day if I'm feeling particularly stressed or tired.

For the sake of dc in the long run I would suggest completely getting rid of them from the house but also monitoring thumb sucking to try and stop that becoming a habit too.

[ThatThingYouDo]

Seline Sorry I meant unnecessary for children who are older. Young premature babies, absolutely. But past, say a year? Not sure any child beyond that age needs it for any other reason than habit.

[Seline]

Yes it's not needed longer term if there's no SN

[Mammyloveswine]

As a teacher i am HORRIFIED that your 8 year old still has a dummy! Take it off him tonight and tell him dummies are for babies. What has your dentist said?? I can guarantee they know he still has one as the affect on teeth is obvious.

Your husband is a knob for thinking it's no big deal. Maybe speak to the dentist and get them to explain to your son and husband exactly why dummies are so bad especially at 8 years old

[UncommonName]

At 8, 3 and 2 I'd be taking it from all of them but then I took DD1's away at 1 year and DD2's at 6 months.

[cushioncuddle]

The teeth may just look crooked but actually what happens is the jaw forms round the shape of the dummy. That means braces won't fix the problem only jaw realignment surgery will sort it unfortunately. I've seen it so many times in work ; speech impediments, unable to control dribbling and dis-formed jaw ( which means you've caused your child's dismorphic feature).
It's not MN gone over the top. It's reality.

[Claudia1980]

Take all the dummies out of the house and do not buy another one. Job done. Utterly ridiculous he has a dummy at 8 years old. He willl have already done major damage to his palate and teeth as they grow differently when dummy sucking is excessive.

[BunsOfAnarchy]

I think its pretty advisable to take all three childrens dummies away. Set the example.

[CantWaitToRetire]

Has your DS never wanted to go to a sleepover, or have friends sleepover at yours? Surely he wouldn't take a dummy to bed if he had a mate there? Maybe invite one or two of his friends over to stay so that he can see that he doesn't need it for comfort at night.

[Excited101]

I’d take them away from all 3 children, get rid. Don’t leave him with it if he ‘doesn’t suck it’ because he will. Getting rid of them means there won’t be one for him to find and squirrel away. He’s way, way too old for one, and at 3 and nearly 2- his younger siblings are too.

It’s not starting to get ridiculous op, it’s very much passed that point- get assertive, it’s in absolutely no way normal.

[Handprints2018]

You need to take from all three. Cut off the tops and go cold Turkey. Or get some of that varnish that's disgusting to stop thumb suckers and pain on a small stripe or two on the teat. If they all taste foul they may decide no thanks. If not bin them.

This is a habit and like any habit if denied it they will look for work arounds. You need zero dummies in the house.

Your husband needs to do some research.

[EcklesCakes]

Stop listening to your MIL first of all- he's your child, not hers. She doesn't have a say in what you do with your child.
Tell your OH that your child will no longer have a dummy. Don't ask, tell.
Christ, OP, he's 8.

[Throughthewardrobe664]

Since you've all made it clear to me that something must be done I've decided to bite the bullet and get rid of them. I sat them down tonight and explained that tonight is the last night with the dummies. They weren't happy be we are going through with it. Tomorrow the dummies will disappear. I'm planning on doing a sticker chart or something so they feel rewarded, and can replace the dummies with something. I think that this is going to be rough. Wish me luck.

[Lovingbenidorm]

You really have to get rid of that dummy.
MIL has no business sticking her nose in, DH is just ignoring the problem, and it IS a problem.
Not only will it fuck up his teeth (probably has already) but really, an 8 yo sucking a dummy?!?!?!
Liked pp who said about sleepovers.
Would he suck a dummy in front of his mates?
Really don’t mean to be unkind here op but if you are posting about something like this as your husband and mother-in-law are not on board I really have to wonder what else is going on.

[Lovingbenidorm]

Sorry, xpost! Good luck!

[Pk37]

Best of luck! Stay strong

[Lalala89]

Good luck OP

[HallowZombie]

Good luck OP

[dancinfeet]

Just bin them all while he is at school? He is far too old for a dummy

[PeachPotato]

I’d take them all to build a bear and get their dummies sewn into a bear each.

[rytonsister]

my ds had meningitis at 3 and spent 8 weeks in hospital so i let him keep his dummy that year. (he is 27 now!)
the next year they got sent to father xmas in exchange for presents.

could you not negotiate an exchange similar to hostage negotiations op?
they needs to go asap.

[cushioncuddle]

Your children will have learnt to self sooth using the dummy. This self soothing may also be a learnt trigger (like a bed time routine) for the brain the trigger melatonin. This is the hormone that produces sleep.
Your children may take a week to learn new ways to self sooth and the brain readjust to producing melatonin another way.
Stick with it. Sleep may be difficult for a week but it will rectify. Stick at it.
Good luck and well done.