Husband opening post

[Toughtips]

Would this bother you? I don't open his so don't expect him to open mine.

We got in at the same time tonight and as I was getting out the car he shouted me to hurry up cos he wanted to show me the letter.

Would this bother you? I asked why he'd not just left it for me to open and he went off in a huff.

Aibu?

All of the above since my last post.
The more I think about it the worse it is

I would hate it. I just like my own space. We know passwords and pins etc, yet we just wouldn’t think about looking at the others.

I don't open DH post and he doesn't open mine. A lot of the time it is financial stuff and bills these days which he opens and sorts in his own way, or medical appointments which he opens and puts in his diary or something. I don't think it would be very helpful if I opened his stuff and he missed something. And vice versa. No secrets.

Not fussed if DH opens my post. Bills and problems are shared here. I tend to leave DVLA/car insurance related letters to him because I don't drive but once opened he usually passes them on to me because I do all the bills. Bills and bank statements are left unopened for me to sort because he trusts me to file away/pay. Neither of us would kick up a fuss if the other opened a letter not addressed to them.

For us it wouldn't be a problem. I guess it depends on how much you want to share. We share everything, some couples don't.

We open each other's post. It's usually me who opens the post because I'm there when it's delivered.

Off topic but @AllSuits - your husband doesn't have a draw, he has a drawer.

Back to the OP, I open all the post in this house, unless as above, it's a handwritten 'letter' type envelope (never) or an obvious card around birthdays/celebrations.

I pay all the bills and do all the finances, regardless of whose name they're in, and I'm usually here for the post. In fact, my DH will leave his post for me to open most times if he gets it when I'm not here (unless he thinks it looks interesting and then he'll open it regardless of who it's addressed to).

It's a non issue here, but if it bugs you just ask him not to do it again. If he's being arsey and huffy about it that's a different issue.

I open all the letters unless I think it’s Concert tickets or something from his friend or his Mother, birthday cards that sort of thing.
Most of the parcels come in my name but I leave them for him if I know it’s something he has asked me to order.

I'm a nosey bugger but I wouldn't open someone else's mail. Tell your DH you'd prefer that he left your mail for you to open yourself in future and if he huffs about it just ignore him.

@WhereTheFuckIsMyFuckingCoat

Off topic but @AllSuits - your husband doesn't have a draw, he has a drawer

Oh my God thank you so much for your correction of my typo, I salute your obvious supremity; if only I, a mere mortal, could reach your standard of grammatical perfection.

No, we don’t open each others post.....sometimes open together if wedding invite/ Christmas card etc.

Yes it would annoy me if my partner opened my post. It's addressed to me and not him. I don't open his post.

My partner and I sometimes open each others post. I don't open anything of his which needs filing or paying. (Mainly because I don't want him to open my post like that....I want to deal with it there and then.) He works from home now so very rarely do I need to ....when he worked out he would often ask me to tell him when X letter arrived. .(e.g. medical appointments etc) I have more issue if opening each others post is an issue ...what do they have to hide? (I hate my oh opening my parcels as he rips the packaging and if you need to return something it's a pain! Lol)

Er I’d have a few things to say if my other half opened my post. I shop for birthdays and Christmas any time of the year if I see things he might like. Sometimes there may be things for him he can’t see for several months!

We share everything, some couples don't
I hope your friends all know that, so they’re aware anything they tell one of you will be told to the other.

My late DH and I would sometimes by error open the other's post, but it would be handed back immediately with an apology.

And as weird as it sounds we our emails were open to each other, that is different addresses synched on laptops/iPad and phones (not work). I never opened his, nor he mine, though I might say X has emailed.. how's it going?

2019 - I would say it’s implicit couples will talk but be discrete as to information they have gained via their spouse. You can’t expect married couples to keep secrets from each other. It’s the norm to talk and share even if your relationship doesn’t reflect this.

There’s a difference between keeping secrets and not discussing everything. One implies an intent to conceal or withhold information which is of relevance to the other person. If a friend wrote to me about a personal matter, or discussed it with me but asked me to keep it private I’m not entitled to tell my DH just because we’re married. The idea that everything must be disclosed is so odd to me.

A friend shouldn’t ask you not to tell your spouse something. Tbh most people would promise not to tell but tell their spouse anyway. The whole point is you can (or should!) be able to trust your spouse to also keep it secret and be discrete.
Some people have very odd marriages where they can’t open routine letters, or share what their friends say with their spouses. I also find it odd that married couples have different finances. But I guess there’s a model that works for everyone. It’s what and your spouse have agreed (explicitly or implicitly) between you that matters.

It is NOT illegal to open someone else's post (not even "technically").

I believe the relevant legislation makes it an offence to intercept someone else's post with malicious intent. If you were opening it, hiding it and using it in a way to harm the addressee, then legal powers might be interested. But I've also read that once the letter has been correctly delivered to your address, it's no longer mail within the meaning of the legislation...

We don't open each others mail.. if it has your name on it should be yours to open!

I had it drilled into me as a child to never open other peoples post. To the extent that if there is something addressed to both me and my husband, I will wait for him to come home to open it together, even if it’s a bill. I never questioned it until reading this post.

Icklepup - I agree with Redsky's post, so I'd modify your statement to "if it has your name on it should be yours to open unless you've agreed otherwise / are both relaxed about doing it."

My DW share all our finances - I even do her tax return for her, because it's not something she'd rather do. So I'd typically open HMRC letters to her so I can make sure we pay her tax on time.

Yes, sure!

Section 84 of the Postal Services Act 2000:

A person commits an offence if, intending to act to a person’s detriment and without reasonable excuse, he opens a postal packet which he knows or reasonably suspects has been incorrectly delivered to him.

Does anyone know if there are cases of anyone being prosecuted or even investigated with committing this offence?

I don't see the issue personally but everyone's different so yanbu to have your own opinion on the matter. I open DH's post purely because he never does so any important post might be left unopened for months if I don't open it. It's not that he doesn't want to for any particular reason I think it's just laziness and thinking it's all gonna be junk mail.