To be so emotionally invested in other women’s bras?

[BuffaloCauliflower]

Just that really. (This is lighthearted before I get any ‘haven’t you got any bigger problems’ comments)

I’m just about constantly worried about whether other women are wearing the right size bra. None of them seem to be. In a group I’m in on FB a women was getting annoyed by suggestions she wasn’t a 38D. There was a picture of her whole body, she was a size 8/10 and her boobs were quite clearly bigger than than mine (32FF/G). She just wouldn’t have it despite everyone being quite kind and just wanting to help.

My size 8/10 SIL insists she’s been measured and she’s a 36C. I can see from looking at her that it’s clearly wrong. I asked her how she can be a 36 at size 8/10 and I’m a 32 at 12/14 but she won’t accept she needs to measure differently. Every time bras are mentioned anywhere I feel compelled to leap in with a booborbust link like some crazed bra pixie.

The ridiculous old school add 4 inches or whatever they’re still doing in M&S and Debenhams needs to stop, it’s doing women no favours. How many women must be uncomfortable and bra hating because they’re nowhere near the right size? I feel like there needs to be some mass PR campaign to teach women and the shops that only stock 32A to 44DD how sizes actually work.

@Spamfrittersforeveryone I’m not looking at you or anyone else, as I said there have been a number of recent situations where others have bought it up. We are all different shapes, as I said the boob or bust calculator puts me at a 32G when I’m a 32FF in most bras, but I know to try them on and fit them right for my boob shape. My concerns are the women who are my size but are wearing a 36B and completely uncomfortable as a result. If you’re happy that’s fab, I’m not here for you.

@Fightingfit2019 because the shops don’t understand either, and it’s a problem. The women fitting bras in M&S don’t understand the sizing, and just go off what they think is big or small.

I had a nightmare the other morning that I couldn't find any bras to wear. I was freaking out about it.

For years I worse the 'wrong' size which felt fine. Recent yrs I wear the right size and... that's fine too. But not any better.

Thanks for all your advice.
Going to give them a try

I've just found Savage x Fenty bras, and I am in love! I got 2 for £29 instead of £124 they would have cost if bought separately, and they are comfortable, pretty and quite sexy.

@AndNoneForGretchenWieners their sizing is crap though - 32A to 38D?! I’d expect Fenty to do a proper range of sizes

I got a 42DD. Some styles have bigger options. I agree it could be widened out though.

I hate the ‘proper way of measuring’ I would be a 26E or 28DD. I’m much more comfortable in my 32C. So yes YABU.

I just googled boob or bust to see what size they would put me at

Lean over so that your boobs are dangling at 90 degrees. have NEVER been measured that way before!

So I just did the measurements and it recons I'm a 38ff. I buy 40c or 38d. Might order a couple of new bras to try then!

@Bringbackthestripes which is part of the problem. We have very different shaped and sized boobs, just round the nipples and round the ribs doesn’t give the full picture.

@twoundertwo54321 give it a go! 38F’s and 38Gs might also be worth trying, you might be different sizes in different bras as well

OP you really need to let go and realise that nobody has to wear the right size bra if they don't want to. Nobody has to go for a bra fitting. It's not a legal requirement.

And many of us are well aware that our bras are the wrong size. My size keeps changing every five minutes so it's a total waste of money to spend money on expensive bras when they'll only fit me for two weeks. Bra fitting only works for the size you are on the day of the fitting, and even then most fitters get it wrong anyway.

Seriously, get over it. Even people who ask for advice online are not obliged to take your advice.

Also there's a lot of people in this country relying on food banks and buying a new bra is really not on their lost of priorities. If you're above a G cup then you're not going to find £10 Primark bra in your size.

It's not just bra size that matters it's the shape and cut of the bra too. I'm petite but big boobed so I go to bravissimo but even there the only ones that fit properly always end up being the same style, no matter what size I am. So personally I'd only get a half cup shape because in most other styles the bras fit all wrong and I have gaping which drives me nuts. I kinda think its like clothes - not one style suits all!

@tectonicplates you clearly missed the ‘light hearted’ in the second line of my OP. I’m not walking up to random women lecturing them on their bras, it comes up in context, and there are plenty of women who don’t know they’re in completely the wrong size and are really grateful to learn

I certainly don’t require anyone to take my advice either. I just want better knowledge and advice to be out there for those who do want it

I wear a 32B and have ended up generally sticking with that size because it's so hard to find 30C or 28D. The few I have got do emphisise my bust much better than the B.

Blooming annoying when the right size barely exists.

Pre-babies I wore 34B. In pregnancy I went up to 34E and needed 34F for my milk to come in. I ended up having a disagreement in M&S about being 35 weeks and buying ahead (I had SPD, this was absolutely my final trip to town, it was hard enough staggering a few metres from a parent space, to the lift, direct to the store. The next week I couldn't even drive!) They also randomly wanted me to go up an unnecessary back size. I had no issue with fit on the back, it was purely more cup I needed. I blatently wasn't following average growth anyway as I'd already gone up far more cups than average.

OP. You would hate me. Prior to kids I was a DD cup and lived in a bra. After kids and over the years I'm now an L cup. I stopped wearing bras years ago when I realised I was comfier without one. I just wear a vest type top under my clothes. I hang free and couldn't care less what anyone thinks.
On a side note, I remember a good few years back watching a documentary on breast cancer. They found that when they looked at western bra wearing women and none bra wearing women, the rate of breast cancer amongst the bra wearing western women was far higher. This was mainly attributed to the style of bra that they wore. Particularly underwired push up style bras as they blocked the lymph drainage ducts, whereas the none bra wearing women didn't have blockages and a much lower incident of breast cancer.
I think it was after seeing that, that I threw mine out.

@BuffaloCauliflower yep it is and as I say very very loose. Totally works 16-32 but there's no way it would work the other way round as in 12 -38.

@KatharinaRosalie totally agree show you can convince yourself it's right. I wore a 36 b, was terribly flat and saggy and convinced myself I had sloping shoulder as the straps always fell down 🤣 I'm absolutely no different now and I'm a 30F. I don't have big boobs but o have far better posture.

@MoaningSickness I mean the size of top you would wear and ask said very very loose in order to explain to someone that they shouldn't be going above that size. Ie if you always wear a size 10 top it's highly unlikely that you'll be in the 34/36 bracket. It was just a way of starting to fit people.
If you said you wore a dress size 12 I would pick out 28-32 backs and get you to try them on until we found one that would fit.

I’m intrigued by this as I have ridiculously broad shoulders as I used to row, although smallish boobs.
I think I’m about a 14 in most tops, and tend to wear a 36/38 b or c.

Is this likely to be hideously wrong?

YABU. Are you one of my friends?

I'm a size 10 and wear a 36C, I measure a 35C and I have some 34D bras that are okay (as long as I haven't eaten too much).

However, if I go to one of the lookie measurers they insist that I need to wear something like a 30G - which I can never fasten up, I can generally fasten up a 32DD, but then I can't breathe. I also have a friend who is fixated on bar sizes and buys me a to-small bra every year (luckily from M&S so I just take out back).

@deeplybaffled if you can pull the back out to fit more than a finger or two wide then yeah. If it pulls out with ease then definitely.

Thank you! I will check.
Breastfeeding at the moment but likely to stop in a couple of months, so will treat myself to some nice ( properly sized!) new bras then.