To really not like working

[Mammylamb]

I really don’t enjoy working. I need to work to earn money; but I really don’t enjoy it; I feel anxious most days, even though I work in a relatively nice office with nice colleagues. I just spend every day worrying that I’m not doing a good enough job. Or that I’ll make a mistake.

When I look on MN, loads of women have senior roles and sound like they really enjoy work; Aibu to really not enjoy work?

www.vox.com%2F2018%2F5%2F8%2F17308744%2Fbullshit-jobs-book-david-graeber-occupy-wall-street-karl-marx&psig=AOvVaw1yywX3Da2K4ZCNNfgJHZ__&ust=1548485650224882

What I was trying to copy and paste was a really good article based on the book “Bullshit Jobs.”

www.google.co.uk/url?sa=i&source=web&cd=&ved=2ahUKEwjok57arIjgAhVyDWMBHeZGBCAQzPwBegQIARAC&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.vox.com%2F2018%2F5%2F8%2F17308744%2Fbullshit-jobs-book-david-graeber-occupy-wall-street-karl-marx&psig=AOvVaw1yywX3Da2K4ZCNNfgJHZ__&ust=1548485650224882

I used to hate it. Now I have kids and work part time and I love it. It's a break from the kids, chance to use my brain and makes me appreciate my days off in a way I couldn't on maternity leave when it was every day.

Sounds like you might suffer from anxiety or depression that isn’t well managed. Maybe go and talk to your Dr.

We can’t diagnose the OP. But not liking going to work and realising how many of us have bullshit jobs isn’t mental illness. Questioning how our society is run and why we spend our days doing things we don’t want to do isn’t anxiety or depression.

Lots of people feel like this

I used to work and while I liked having a salary of my own, I have always been a low earner - at the most I earned 16,500 a year. It was enough to keep my house ticking over but didn't leave much for things like pension payments, savings or even holidays. When I was made redundant I haven't worked since. I got married and had dc, now at school. I feel I should get a job/work, even part time, but I don't know what I could do. I feel so useless. I didn't make friends at work, my colleagues tended to exclude me and make snide remarks about me and it was crushing having to go in every day knowing they hated me. Redundancy was horrible as it felt like rejection, but it was liberating as well. I don't think I could go back into a workplace with actual people in it, I would be worrying constantly that I would make lots of mistakes with both the job and the people. I can't drive either, so I'm limited in where I could go to work.

But I feel so guilty that I'm living off DH. So often read on here of despicable it is to rely on your husband/partner.

It's sad to see how many people are worried about their job performance, or feeling totally deflated or unmotivated about their work. I guess we're all just muddling along making the best of things...

Gwen "Being on my own in my boring living room doesn't tempt me at all. I like the coffee breaks and the lunch time at work as well as the little chats."

hate all that. I live in a tiny flat with the kitchen and lounge combined, , precarious computer arrangement etc. But even then, I only stuck out my last job long enough to get a good redundancy package because they let me work at home 2 days a week.

I just barely tolerate all the office stuff. And don't get me started on office toilets, office kitchens, people drifting round with colds and coughs etc etc.....hate it. No matter how lovely the people are and I have worked with lovely people, kept in touch with them etc.

just lurve to potter at home.

I am on meds for anxiety and depression but reduced them after taking redundancy - even though dad got sick and died during that period.

Reckon back to work will mean back to usual dose of meds, and retirement will see me come off them completely, is my guess.

One of the arguments in favour of UBI is that it is now almost impossible to be self-sufficient, therefore people must work for an employer much of the time. If you bear in mind that all the right wing shouting about scroungers and hard work is motivated by a desire for CHEAP LABOUR then you might see through it. This is what austerity is about, basically - starving people into accepting low pay and awful working conditiions.

I am the same. I hate it. I think I'd be OK working part time but work won't let me and I also think I probably couldn't afford to.

I feel that it really imposes on my time. I feel really resentful and also a bit anxious when I am there although there is no good reason to be since I am very junior and it's not very stressful.

I play the lottery twice a week in the hopes I can win enough to quit work forever. I don't care about being rich I just want to not have to be in this trap!

nigel sorry to be boring but you might want to look at Premium Bonds instead, still chances to win but you get to keep the money rather than give it to Camelot (is that the still the operator?)

I'm embarrassed to say, I would LOVE to be a full time house wife

And that is the problem we have today, you shouldn’t have to feel embarrassed to say that. In many societies being a housewife is still a “profession” in it’s own right.

Someone up thread mentioned how women have strived for the right to work over the years. Great. Doesn’t mean we all want that! Women have been able to work for a long time. My grandmother was born in 1920 and had a good job in publishing for many years. But being a housewife wasn’t frowned upon like it is now. As a kid my friends had a mix of working and SAHM. Many worked part time as it worked well for them.

It’s great that women can have a career if they want. I wouldn’t want to return to a time when they couldn’t. But now we have no choice. Living costs and societal expectations mean most women now “have” to work. Many in low paid, soul destroying jobs. So now we have no more choice than we did when women couldn’t work. It’s just flipped the other way. That suits some people but it won’t suit everyone.

I’m currently sitting in my office swirling around on my chair as I still don’t have IT access! What’s the point? I might as well be at home!

No you are definitely not being unreasonable!!
And I really don't understand this general attitude that everyone should be working! Think it's due to this very western value system of 'your work is your worth'.
We're lucky that we paid off our mortgage, we've no kids. I was made redundant from a part time job that I loved, took another part time job where the conditions were appalling, hours spread so far over the week that I was losing quarter of pay on parking, plus a nasty colleague was being a bully....so I quit.
We've made cut backs & manage on my partner's salary.
But one retired relative is constantly moaning about me & practically not talking to me due to me not working.. FFS! Is it all that matters?! Nevermind everything I've done for them over the years
I

Grace212 - are you very introverted?

With my small flat, I get cabin fever if I've been in on my own for too long, happens sometimes on Sundays in the winter. Much better for me to be forced to go out and talk to people. I think I'd work part time in an ideal world.

I do think my job is a bit of a bullshit job sometimes. Some parts of it are; some are worthwhile (for the company), some parts are just done because of legal requirements .

Gwen - I used to think I was introverted but now I'm not so sure. I love spending time with my friends but office chit chat just drives me nuts. Also I don't do well with the noise overload of offices and can get on with work much better as it's just my phone ringing instead of loads of phones, and nobody standing around chatting....I can't drown out background noise and work. Well, I guess I can or I wouldn't have survived the workplace, but it really annoys me.

I can easily spend a weekend alone but I do go running. Also if I don't see anyone at the weekend, there's a lot of people messaging on WhatsApp or phoning or whatever.

I think open plan office culture and team bloody everything is a much bigger problem than the actual work. I am a real homebody though.

I should add, my small flat is in a large block, so you can't get post or put rubbish out without chatting to someone.

I do know my neighbours as well - outside work I'm sociable I guess? I don't know if I'm introverted or not. I think the workplace might have made me think I was when I'm not.

For those of us with above average intelligence it's drummed into us to study hard, get good qualifications, go into university, get a professional career, work harder, rise up the ranks, get the £££, and if you're lucky, enjoy it. What they fail too mention is that for a lot of people this is truly a crap existence, hence the stories of burnouts, anxiety, chucking it all in for a part time minimum wage admin job and never being happier. We are pretty brainwashed, aren't we.

Roll on automation!

www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/apr/30/reality-automation-terrifying

I'm sure millions of workers just keeping their heads above water in minimum waged jobs are thrilled by the prospect of losing their jobs to robots.

I understand where you are coming from. I have a job in a sector which is difficult to get in to and I've always wanted to work in. I do enjoy my job. However I don't really like the presence and obligation in my life if that makes sense? Having to be there set hours, the commute, being in people mode, the pointless meetings and workplace politics. So I think I'd probably like to get on with my work in my own time. For example when I work at home I sometimes have a few hours to do cleaning in the afternoon then work a bit in the evening. I could do a lot of my job like this in reality. I think we are stuck in an old fashioned way of working which hadn't moved on with technology. I think we would be happier and more productive if work was more flexible.

I think a lot of workplaces no longer run in a way that makes it bearable, mostly because of cuts. I know many older people who are shocked when I tell them about what I have to put up with at work from the pupils, and general conditions such as no breaks all day, low staffing, stress all day because you can’t do the job in a way you know it should be done etc etc.

I do enjoy hearing about people talk about their working life in the 60s-90s. It seems that many people had scheduled tea breaks, hour long lunch breaks, time during the working day to actually talk to your workmates and offload about eg any difficult clients.

I enjoyed working in the late 90s/2000s. Yes, I was younger, but workplaces seemed to be much happier places. Better resourced than they are now, both financially and staffing level wise. Yes, you worked all day but there wasn’t the sheer RUSH and pressure to get basic tasks done. You could do them at a normal pace rather than at break neck speed just to keep up.

I had an hour long lunch break. My colleagues and I were able to go to the cafe over the road and have a right laugh. We would return to work for the afternoon feeling refreshed and happy.

If you weren’t happy in your job there were always others that came up all the time. Housing was so much cheaper, if you were in a couple there wasn’t the sheer terror at wondering how you would afford the mortgage if one of you lost your job. Now, both members of a couple have to work fill time just to have a basic standard of living. Not much left over for luxuries.

There is just not much CHOICE around work anymore, in ANY aspect of it and I think this is what gets many of us down these days. Even retraining is difficult if you have already been through uni but your sector has changed so much that it isn’t the same in term of job availability or satisfaction.

When you hit mid life it only exacerbates the feeling of being trapped for years ahead. Pressures of elderly parents (didn’t happy years ago as life expectancy was shorter), teenaged kids (people had kids younger years ago so if you were mid 40s your kids would be adults.not the case these days.

It’s feeling a combination of feeling trapped and lacking choice that I think is the worst thing, along with worsening working conditions and the pressure of paying high housing costs.

@CurlyHairedAssassin you are right about how much things have changed in the last couple of decades. I think people are beginning to realise not just how bad this is but how the whole mess has been deliberately created by a particular style of economic thinking, which basically benefits the rich minority at the expense of everyone else - it's all about cheap labour so that people can be starved into obedience.