To really not like working

[Mammylamb]

I really don’t enjoy working. I need to work to earn money; but I really don’t enjoy it; I feel anxious most days, even though I work in a relatively nice office with nice colleagues. I just spend every day worrying that I’m not doing a good enough job. Or that I’ll make a mistake.

When I look on MN, loads of women have senior roles and sound like they really enjoy work; Aibu to really not enjoy work?

Perhaps you're in the wrong job? Spend some time thinking about whether there' something you'd rather do.

I need there to be a point in my work. I've had jobs in the past which were just about making money for a corporation and share holders. Soul destroying once you're past the age where work is also a social life, and you actually stop to think about why you go in each day. When it's just about money it's bleak and pointless no matter how well paid.

The solution isn't not working, but finding the right job.

Could you afford to go part time, get benefits top up. Signed off for stress by GP and look for something a bit more fulfilling on days off?

This is why there's so much benefit bashing and why people who are genuinely too ill from stress to work are often met with suspicion.

I'm the same. Feel on edge all day at work even though it's just an admin job in a nice (and naice) friendly office.

Myidentitymycrisis thats exactly how I feel. I am actually only part time but don't enjoy it. My days off are spent feeling anxious and worried about work. I have never been pulled up for anything but still worry I am doing a terrible job. I panic about what emails etc I will have in work but its usually fine. Trying to find another job but see nothing that will be as flexible or well paid. I never felt like this with my last job but it wasn't as well paid.

I used to love my job, ( largely seen as a vocational career) but have moved to progress and miss my old line manager and team. The senior management are applying more and more pressure on what feels like a daily basis ( even my old team is now disheartened). Don't know the answer but I hoping when the summer comes I'll feel a bit brighter!

I’ve had jobs that made me want to sob on the way to work. And frequently made me sob on the way home.

For me, the first time I really sat down to think about why I felt like that was eye opening. I’d suggest you have a go and that and look into some support for your anxiety.

I don’t have it all wrapped up now, but I love my job despite a 6/7 hour round trip commute nearly every day! Which should tell you that I did find what I loved, despite me worrying for years that I just didn’t like working.

Do you like food, clothes and a roof over your head, though?

I hate going to work too - not that my job is especially stressful or unpleasant. I 'd just rather be at home, getting the housework done, seeing friends and family, cooking and having the time and energy to spend with my kids and DH when they get home. Particular hate is the commute and trying to find a parking space. Wouldn't hate work so much if I could teleport in each morning!

Two years ago I felt the same. Freelance job, stuck at home with no company, bored, bored, bored, depressed. Then I started training to be a primary school teacher. Realised that my old job, which luckily I could go back to easily, was heaven!

I feel like your perfectionism may follow you to another role! Maybe it's inside not outside.

This is quite normal.
A lot of people on MN have really good jobs that they like, but in life in general, the majority don't have that. You don't get a representative sample of people on MN.

How long have you been in your job? The anxiety you describe I usually get in the first year of a job. It usually gets better with time, especially if the place is friendly. Of course there are some places/jobs that just aren't right for you.

You can get coaching for this kind of anxiety and “imposter syndrome”. Those who are worried they’ll be found to be rubbish at their jobs even if they’re not. There’s no reason to live with these feelings. Or to give up work due to them!

"Could you afford to go part time, get benefits top up. Signed off for stress by GP and look for something a bit more fulfilling on days off?

This is why there's so much benefit bashing and why people who are genuinely too ill from stress to work are often met with suspicion"

Yes, but if one person goes part time, there would ideally be a part time job freed up for someone who wants it, so it's not all bad.
(I know this doesn't always happen).

"You can get coaching for this kind of anxiety and “imposter syndrome”.

Imposter syndrome is suffered by people in 'important' jobs. Doesn't sound like OP is in that situation.
There's no therapy really for just not having a great job.

"I've had jobs in the past which were just about making money for a corporation and share holders. Soul destroying"

I've worked for causes I really believe in, but it makes no difference. I could work for the best cause in the world, but it's my part in it, what I do day-to-day that matters.

Could you afford to go part time, get benefits top up. Signed off for stress by GP and look for something a bit more fulfilling on days off?

That's really crap advice, Boaty. Why should people who work FT pay for people to work PT just because they don't like working??

OP, there are two issues here: (1) you think your job is pointless;
(2) You feel anxious about not doing a good enough job.

So, look for another job, and see your GP to find strategies to handle your anxiety.

I constantly wonder if I am doing well enough despite reassurances, and simultaneously don’t care.

Lol, this is so me. The good news is that the older you get, the less you care, so you worry a lot less.

Work is vile. That's why it's 'work' , and not 'play'.

OP " I have this horrible feeling that no matter what job I do, I’ll feel the same"

yes, I'm 43 and have changed track a couple of times. I still hate working. I'd be much happier pottering at home, which is the dream of my life actually. That and a lot of studying.

I love threads like this! My friends are all very senior - doing the type of job I thought I'd do - earning megabucks, really enjoying it. They have an enthusiasm for it but also an energy level that I don't have - like they don't even notice an hour commute or they decide to spend it learning a language.

It's therapeutic to have a moan about it I reckon.

I’ve never met anyone in real life who actually enjoys their job and looks forward to going.
I have an aunty who says she does and goes on about how fulfilling it is, but then looks forward to the weekends more than anyone I know and moans to closer family members about how stressed she always is.

I hate my job. It’s so incredibly boring and I watch the clock the entire time. I’d rather sit on my phone in the carpark all day than go in. However, i need something that allows me to do both school runs and term time only, so beggars can’t be choosers.

I hate working too. I often wonder if I had gone down one of the routes I was more passionate about whether I would feel differently. If I won the lottery I would happily give up work forever and just spend my time reading, painting, travelling and volunteering. We are currently adjusting our lifestyles so we can work part time long term at least

This is one of those situations where you just have to pull yourself back into check. Everyone has them. You've got a job, you've got good hours and a good salary. That's quite a lot!

Acknowledge the feeling, then brush over it. It's work, it's never going to be your favourite thing ever.

Yes, but if one person goes part time, there would ideally be a part time job freed up for someone who wants it, so it's not all bad.
(I know this doesn't always happen).

We studied this as part of a business module at uni. It very, very rarely happens. It doesn't make sense from a business point of view, as they then hire two people and have lots of holidays etc to look after. Most companies will either divide duties between other FT staff or leave them as they are and not get any cover.

I have hated jobs so I know how you feel. But I now have a job that I LOVE!! So it is poosible to not feel that way!!

I hate it too.

My friends are all very senior - doing the type of job I thought I'd do - earning megabucks, really enjoying it. They have an enthusiasm for it but also an energy level that I don't have - like they don't even notice an hour commute or they decide to spend it learning a language.

I do this (except the mega bucks, I've taken a pay decrease for personal reasons). I love my job overall, and I am always enthusiastic and energetic and get people hyped ready to do a good job...

But I also feel like the OP a lot, I just don't talk about it. I think about it as little as possible. You self sabotage otherwise. If an hour long commute is unavoidable, there's no point moaning about it, you might as well spend it doing something beneficial and waking your brain up. I'd spend so much of my life miserable about work otherwise.

I strongly don't believe there are two types of people here; there are just two ways of dealing with work.

Ynbu I absolutely felt the same. Everyone on here seems to have these amazing "careers". Most people I know work just to earn money, or are in jobs they fell in as it was what was available/who called them for interview etc.i was constantly stressed, paid little for long hours but it was all I had access to in my county for my qualifications and what I could fit in with my circumstances.