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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To insist that the gp refers my daughter to a gynae consultant?

47 replies

Mabelface · 23/01/2019 19:46

My dd19 is having frequent periods, spotting in between, incredibly painful and like the fucking texas chain saw massacre. 2 of my sisters and I have all suffered from endometriosis and her symptoms match how mine were before treatment. The gp keeps making her do pregnancy tests, is refusing to prescribe contraceptive pills, and only now after a blood test has confirmed no pregnancy, the nurse is insisting she gets referred for an ultrasound. She already suffers from anxiety and this is making it worse, as she's scared to leave the house in case she floods. Aibu unreasonable to go with dd (she'd be happy for me to be there) and insist enough is enough and she needs to see a gynae?

OP posts:
Racecardriver · 23/01/2019 19:48

You can try but it generally doesn’t work that way. I would suggest trying a different GP who might be a bit more sympathetic or just going for a private diagnosis.

Talkingfrog · 23/01/2019 19:50

Yanbu. What your daughter is experiencing us not normal and should be investigated. Ultrasound may be part of that, but should be for gynae to decide as they may well want to do other investigations too.

JasperKarat · 23/01/2019 19:50

If she's happy for you to go with her, go. If he ignores you too seek a second opinion. I was one told by a GP young ladies need to learn when to put their feet up, when experiencing similar plus the associated anaemia and fatigue. I moved to a different practice was taken seriously, diagnosed and treated

Fortybingowings · 23/01/2019 19:50

Agree she would benefit from an ultrasound and probably the contraceptive pill. GP can do this. Doesn't need a gynae referral.

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 23/01/2019 19:52

He won’t prescribe contraceptives! Why the hell not?!

YANBU at all, I wish my mum had been a bit more sympathetic when I was younger.

Theswaggyotter · 23/01/2019 19:56

The gynae referral could take months and they will expect specific tests to have been done first (or they will reject the referral) so I don’t think demanding referral will help. However it might be worth asking again about going on the contraceptive pill which should help her if it is endometriosis (take 3 packets back to back with no break)
There are also other medications which can help if pain and bleeding are a problem.
Depends a bit on other details like if this is a sudden change in which case they would to look into why this happened and rule some stuff out first
GPs can deal with majority of patients with heavy bleeding but there are always safety considerations before starting pill in the event of new unexplained bleeding

MumW · 23/01/2019 19:59

See what comes of the ultrasound but I don't think YABU, especially given your family experiences.

If she wants your support then definitely go with her - GP might be less likely to fob you off. Ask him to justify a non-referral.
(My Mum came with me to an appointment as a second pair of ears recently I'm in my 50s as DH is useless in these situations)

Nicebudget · 23/01/2019 20:01

You need to see another gp definitely.

DontFuckingSayIt · 23/01/2019 20:02

As a previous poster said, she will almost certainly have to have had certain investigations before a referral would be accepted - the ultrasound may well be a necessary first step

hazeydays14 · 23/01/2019 20:14

Though it may not help regarding a diagnosis, if the GP won’t prescribe the pill a local family planning may be able to help. In my area you don’t need an appointment and I believe they will give it to 13 and overs.
It may depend on your area though. At least it would help her in the short term.

slashlover · 23/01/2019 20:20

I was sent for an ultrasound and because they saw a largeish cyst I was put through to the gynae as a priority. Going for the ultrasound could be a first step.

Has she had a blood test to check for the possibility of a cyst (mine was negative so it's not always accurate.)

MrsChollySawcutt · 23/01/2019 20:22

Definitely see another GP. This one sounds like a dinosaur.

Juells · 23/01/2019 20:27

I'd go privately. What's your health worth?

Oratorio · 23/01/2019 20:28

An ultrasound was the first step for me towards my endometriosis diagnosis. That said, the GP sounds unhelpful, so your daughter might want to consider changing to another.

perfectstorm · 23/01/2019 20:29

You need a new GP. We had a shit one, and moved practice. Best thing we ever did (and not to scare you, but it literally was life-saving, too).

This person won't change, miserably. But you can vote with your feet.

onalongsabbatical · 23/01/2019 20:31

Refusing to prescribe contraceptive pills to a 19 year old? On what grounds? How is this allowed unless it's medically contraindicated? Poor girl.

FinallyFree123456789 · 23/01/2019 20:33

I've called and spoke to my doctor for the same problem on Monday - I was referred to gyne through the choose and book service and had an appointment today and saw a gyne consultant who has ordered blood tests ......

Go and speak to another doctor - they can't refuse to give her contraception.
You can continue to ask for a referral, some doctors just fob you off .... mine just kept giving me tablets to control the bleeding but didn't actually do anything until I cried on the phone on Monday Hmm

Purplecatshopaholic · 23/01/2019 20:37

Get a new GP. Seriously. The pill might help, and if not other medication might do (cant remember what it is called now). Your current GP sounds like a dinosaur. I have been there and it is awful

GB54 · 23/01/2019 20:40

Let her go for the scan first, might pick up a cyst or something. Then definitely ask for a referral.

MorbidlyObese · 23/01/2019 20:41

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

christmaschristmaschristmas · 23/01/2019 20:43

Go and see a different GP within the practice.

Could be endo...could be heavy periods without cause. We were never offered a referral.

FWIW DD had terrible periods and I was all for pushing for a referral but is now taking the POP and hasn't had a period in a year - it might just be masking the problems but she is like a different person. Previously she was taking naproxen and codeine.

adaline · 23/01/2019 20:44

I think she needs to get the scan before you insist on anything, tbh.

I had similar symptoms recently and got referred for an ultrasound - my problem was hormonal but the scan at least showed there was nothing more serious going on!

CottonSock · 23/01/2019 20:44

Although I am not 19, I saw a gp for the same symptoms last week. Very sympathetic and booked me for blood test and I will try the mini pill. She recommended the coil but I wasn't keen.
See another go asap. Your poor dd.

Whatelsecouldibecalled · 23/01/2019 20:45

In the meantime to help with the spotting try vitamin b12. I had awful spotting and now it has settled but been on vit b for over a year.

You could look at private scans but not providing contraception is ridiculous.

Corkleg · 23/01/2019 20:45

Does your daughter have any additional needs?

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