To say £300 is too much?

[jade19]

So my Boyfriend has this mobile game he likes playing. Over the past few weeks he has asked me a couple to transfer him £5 here or £10 there, so he can buy stuff on here. ( I'm not exactly sure what stuff, but im assuming it's lives or something like that.) Today he sat and asked me to put £300 from our savings over into his account so he can buy this " limited addition" thing on this game. And I immediately said no way.
He persisted for the rest of the evening, continuing to ask me and I said no.
In the end he asked me why he couldn't have it and I essentially listed why.

1. £300 is a lot of money to take out of our savings for a mobile game.
2. We have 2 children and we cant just spend £300 on something like.
3. I'm a few months time he will be bored of the game and it will get deleted from him phone and that money will be gone!

He claims if we take it out of our savings that we will get it back because he has a bonus coming later on in the year. But he bonus isnt guaranteed. I then also made the point that £300 can buy alot of stuff I mean that could buy loads of nappies for the kids or that could be a weekend away. And he some how, said that I said he was selfish.

AIBU for saying no? Did what I say come across as if I was saying he was selfish? (if that's the case then I need to think about how I say things in the future.)

Just incase your wondering, the reason he asks me for the money is because his wages go into his account and go out on bills and I claim any extra bits we get for the kids.
Also I know that you may be wondering why I agree to £5 or £10 but I won't agree to the £300. An that's becaus he works hard and I want to do things he enjoys and if that is £5 every now and then that's fine but £300 to me is just accessive.

Thanks x

He shouldn't need to have to ask to spend £5 or £10 if you have the income. How much do you normally have leftover after essential bills? You need to discuss your financial targets - e.g how much you
want to try to save monthly for pensions, holidays, birthdays, christmases, emergencies, etc. This, in reality, governs how much, you can use as effectively "pocket money" each - spending without judgement.

Delayed gratification - WHEN, he gets his bonus, depending on the amount, mutually agree what you, as a family will do with it. This may include a % sum for him to do as he wishes (squander on gaming).

YANBU, £300 is a huge sum to spend on in game benefits.

My DH and I have a joint account and joint savings, but have a regular amount of money (£100) that goes from the joint account into individual savings each month, so that we each have our own guilt and explanation free spending. This means that if DH wants to buy and expensive bit of kit for gaming then he saves up for it from his individual account. I wonder if a similar set up might work for you both?

What age is he? 12!

Is he gambling OP, this is exactly what my dp used to do but he would just take his full wage and blow it in a day. He then managed to actually use his phone bill to gamble so his phone bill was nearly 200 quid one month. No idea how that even works but he managed it. No YANBU. He is being a selfish twat. Gaming is an absolute scam, same as gambling.

Is he the father of your children? If so then he has financial responsibilities to them first and foremost.

Are you sure it's a game and not some gambling site?

Its not great that he has to ask you for money in that way

^ I agree. Putting the £300 aside, it seens odd tgst he has to ask you even for £5.

It sounds terribly controlling he has to ask you for money tbh!

No wonder he has no concept of the value and worth of money if he has absolutely no responsibility or control over any money of his own.

These are the types of lessons late teens early twenties learn after pissing away the first couple pay checks, realising there isn’t enough money for decent food by the end of the month and living off beans or for the drunk weekend with the mates and not flittering money away again! It sounds like he has never learnt to be responsible as he has never had to be!

You can buy a whole games console with controllers and games included for less than that!

Are you sure it's not gambling, because three hundred quid is highly unlikely on a game.

So I suspect something is wrong here.

If you can afford 300 pounds without first discussing it between you, then YABU. He can do what he wants with his money. If you can't (like our family can't) he is being an arsehole.

However £300 implies some serious addiction over this game and I@d be worried about that seriously.

He sounds about 14. I would find that really unattractive. And stop giving him the £5 here and £10 there too - where is his money going? Does he work? Or just play on his phone all day?

£300 is a ridiculous amount to spend on a game.

I went on holiday for a week last year on less than that!

Few games incur spending of £300 OP.

I'd get the phone and smash with a rolling pin.

Problem sorted.

Oh, and tell him to grow the fuck up and be a parent

Does he work OP? If not he should be taking the largest chunk of responsibility for childcare and housework. If he is neither working outside the home nor doing domestic work, why are you with him?

If he does work I’m not clear on why he’d need to ask you for a fiver.

Crikey. I’m disabled and not able to get out much. That’s my hobby. I have spent about £20 / £25 on online games over the past couple of months. Dh queried it and I likened it to his and dds sporting hobbies, which I can’t do. We are comfortable and £300 would not make a dent. But I still wouldn’t do it.

YADNBU. He sounds like a bit of a bully on this subject at least, which indicates he has an addiction to the game.

I had to double check you’d said boyfriend, he sounds about 12. I’m not sure any online “game” costs that much, sounds like he’s gambling to me.

The fact that its a game is irrelevant - games are no more "ridiculous" than handbags, nice watches or any other luxury purchase.

It is however a luxury/optional purchase and at a level above squander money in their household. So its potentially a birthday/Christmas spend for them.

OP: it doesn't matter who works in or out of the home, once you have paid all the bills/any savings etc aim for a 50/50 share of the spending money and the leisure time. You won't get it perfect split, but if you aim for that it helps.

Also does he track all those small spends inside the game? They can add up to quite shocking amounts without realising it which is another reason to have a budget for spending money and not do it ad hoc.

This is why we have a joint account, then a certain amount of "pocket money" each in our own accounts. It means we can spend what we like on stupid things without having to ask the other, and limits the amount!

@C8H10N4O2 I think it is more ridiculous than a handbag or shoes. It's not irrelevant that it's a game.

I spent £300 of my own money on a leather jacket & handbag in the January sales & I still feel a bit guilty about that! These are things that will last, & I'll use for years.
Spending that on one game is in my opinion ridiculous. Perhaps it would be justifiable if he was buying something he'd use for a long time such as a load of games and/or a console (are they still called that?! Shows how much I know!) but not one single game.

I play a lot of mobile games, free but with in-app purchases. I have never seen anything that costs that much. What game is it?

(I never purchase stuff for games, it becamea point of principal, whan I once found myself thinking that a bundle was a good deal and maybe I could get it.... it cost 20 quid. At which point I realised that was much too much to squander on stupidity, and I have never paid again. £5 here or there can become £20 quite easily, but £300!!!! No way.)

I'd be checking out for myself this "game" and its costs, independently of what he is telling you about it.

£300???

£30 might be reasonable - you could easily spend that on console games and get less enjoyment out of them. But £300??? What is he buying, his own personal armor set forged from unobtainium?

What's the game?

We are comfortably well off and still hesitated this weekend over spending £12 on an add on for a game we both play! £300 is ridiculous, it sounds like an addictive personality thing? Anything else he's fixated on?

I can’t belieive a grown man on a a limited income would even consider this. We are relatively well off and I play a lot of online games. I would never, ever, ever pay £300 for any add-ons. The most I’ve ever paid is £1.00 here and there for a hint or a set of aids.