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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is a wierd choice.

96 replies

SofaKingFedUp · 20/01/2019 23:52

I've decided to start dating, I have a child though so it's difficult for me to get out and meet people so a friend suggested a certain dating app. I've never been a fan of them but thought I would give it a try.
Talking to a guy, same age as me. We are 28 and he asks to go for a drink the weekend just passed but I was working so we agreed to next weekend. He said if I am free during the week we could meet too but not too late and no alcohol as he has to work and drive the next morning, no problem with me. So
He chose tomorrow evening, I am free so agreed. The only thing is, is that he wants to go for a drive. I asked where and he said one of 3 places, two I have never been and one I went to years ago, one is near water and there are 3 bridges all lit up. He said we can "drive there and sit and chat"
Now I don't know if it's just because I watch too much crime documentaries/series/films but to me this suggestion is a little wierd for a first date. I feel like it would be dangerous to go. I don't know him, so gettin into a car with someone I don't know would, in my mind, be a dangerous move. My friend on the other hand thinks it's fine And that I should go. What do you think? AIBU to think it's dangerous or is my friend BU to think this is normal?
The guy seems alright, hasn't tried to hint towards sex or anything like that which is good for me as I'm not a fan of ONS, I made this clear to him too and he also agreed that that isn't what he is looking for.... I don't know, I've not dated in over 7 years so I need help

OP posts:
SneakyGremlins · 20/01/2019 23:53

I think assuming he's a serial killer is a bit of a stretch.

ADarkandStormyKnight · 20/01/2019 23:54

No. Advice is to meet in a public place for a first date. Cafe, museum, gallery. Not alone is a strangers car.

Bambamber · 20/01/2019 23:54

If this is the first time you've met this person, I would personally feel a lot safer meeting in a busy public place. Seems quite intense for a first date anyway

CuriousMama · 20/01/2019 23:54

Nope. Meet somewhere public. You know it's not right or you wouldn't be asking.

Haworthia · 20/01/2019 23:55

Nope, I’m not getting into a stranger’s car and think it’s a weird suggestion. Why not a pub/bar/restaurant like everyone else does?

MarthasGinYard · 20/01/2019 23:55

Public place for first date

fc301 · 20/01/2019 23:56

Would you hitchhike? No?
Then why get in this strangers car?...

Nothininmenoggin · 20/01/2019 23:56

I think it's only common sense to meet in a neutral place first. Getting into a car with a complete stranger is not sensible.Confused

RebeccaCloud9 · 20/01/2019 23:56

Dogging

Disquieted1 · 20/01/2019 23:57

Is this a joke?
Of course this is not on. Run for the hills!

powershowerforanhour · 20/01/2019 23:58

Hell no. He might be normal or you might end up in the boot of the car or sleeping with the fishes. Also- any chap with half a brain shouldn't invite a woman to go for a drive bloody anywhere let alone to a quiet place alone for a first date. WTF? He's either a murderer or completely fucking clueless about how women feel.

LadyGAgain · 20/01/2019 23:58

Gosh no way! It's proper weird of him to ask that too - surely he must know that it reeks of odd.

What have your said OP?

Stay safe.

Superchill · 21/01/2019 00:00

This is the gift of fear, I think it's called.

I wouldn't go out with him at all, he's weird. Convention is always a public place for a first internet date. It's in the guidance for every site.
He probably isn't planning to murder you. I'm sure that lassie in New Zealand didn't think her date was a murderer either. He could just want to rape you.

RaininSummer · 21/01/2019 00:01

Definitely don't do that. Just tell him you're not comfortable with that as you barely know him.

MadameJosephine · 21/01/2019 00:01

I wouldn’t even accept a lift on a first date, no fucking way would I let him drive me somewhere ‘for a chat’! Definitely weird, time to block and move on

HollowTalk · 21/01/2019 00:03

Why would anyone suggest this, given it'll be dark?

Is he trying to save money?

I wouldn't go and I have to say I think he's a bit odd for suggesting it. I wouldn't meet him at all.

CandleConcerto · 21/01/2019 00:03

Yeah that lack of awareness in itself is off putting.

namechangedforanon · 21/01/2019 00:06

Absolutely do not do this .

Public place always

AtrociousCircumstance · 21/01/2019 00:09

You mustn’t do that.

And you must educate your friend about the fact that no one in their right mind would either suggest this or agree to it.

funnyoldonion · 21/01/2019 00:10

Nope

VoteForPedrosLlama · 21/01/2019 00:10

I once worked with someone who was raped at gunpoint in similar circumstances. Do not go!!!

EllaDownTheLane · 21/01/2019 00:12

God no not a flippin chance.

W0rriedMum · 21/01/2019 00:14

DO NOT GO!!
I'd be concerned about his lack of common sense at the very least.

spudlet7 · 21/01/2019 00:19

Definitely don't do this. Go somewhere public. Safety aside, a drive is a weird date anyway.

watt36 · 21/01/2019 00:22

No, never ever. Wouldn't consider it for a second.

Meet somewhere public.