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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Anyone else get sick from fear of going to work?

85 replies

Workfear · 20/01/2019 23:19

Every Sunday now I'm up late feeling nauceous because I have to go to work for another week. The work itself isn't a problem, it's my boss and the team to an extent.

It's just issues all the time, and petty ones at that. Complaints, nothing is good enough. I'm expected to work 4 times as hard as others, and still told to hurry up basically, yet if others screw up its like 'oh it's fine, nothing we can do anyway'. And the others screw up all the time, I honestly very rarely make a mistake.

There's always comments about my work, just snide little things that are annoying, it's nothing they can even reprimand me on. If anything, I could tell them to go do one and make my life easier, but I don't to help the team. Last year was very stressful and I almost went to the GP and asked to be put on sick leave.

I am looking for other work too, but that can't instantly happen of course so stuck for now. Just sick of feeling sick every week from anxiety just because my boss is an asshole.

Anyone else get this every week? We can help each other maybe, dunno how other than rant haha.

OP posts:

Disquieted1 · 20/01/2019 23:24

Look very hard in the mirror. Are you really working four times as hard as everyone else?
If so, then quit. Don't fuck about, quit.

If it's just a case of the Sunday blues, then chat away. We all get it.

Original poster

Workfear · 20/01/2019 23:28

Yep. I do 4 jobs. They do 1. We get paid the same regardless. I can't quit, there is a thing called life with bills to pay sadly. Can't quit without money to pay said bills.

OP posts:

LonelyAmongUs · 20/01/2019 23:33

I share your pain and know exactly what you mean, hang in there.

helacells · 20/01/2019 23:35

Quit and get temping work until you find something else. The stress will kill you

CrazyKitkatLady · 20/01/2019 23:37

I used to feel like this, my new job has made such a difference to my mental health and quality of life. I didn't fully realise how awful it made me feel until I left! I hope you can find something new soon

Anonalongadingdong123 · 20/01/2019 23:38

Think you really need to take steps to control the situation or it will drag you down. Starting tomorrow, start applying for other roles or speak up against the bullies. Easier said than done, I know but if you stay where you are it will damage you further.

GretaBritain · 20/01/2019 23:41

Yes I had a job like this once.

I had never suffered from anxiety before and I didn't realise at first that the constant nausea was stress related until, after a particularly bad day, I had to pull over in the car to be sick. I wasn't sick but realised at that point that it was the toxic, nightmare of a job.

Sunday night was the WORST.

You have my sympathies. Do all you can to leave and let that keep you going in the interim.

I hope you get out soon x

elle1111112 · 20/01/2019 23:45

OP please just look for another job. I've been in a similar situation and it really effected my confidence but most places are absolutely not like this. I left a job with awful boss / colleagues for one I loved with great people.

You are in a job which means you'll be more attractive to employers. Good luck x

Darkestnight · 20/01/2019 23:47

Yes and just had a week off and dreading going back tuesday

Cattus · 20/01/2019 23:51

Can you temp in your line of work?

nevisbump · 20/01/2019 23:52

Yes been there and ended up off with stress. All promises to fix and never happened. I made myself really ill over it. Got a new job and things so much better. Speak to someone, talk to your bosses boss, union, hr

MadameGazelleIsMyHomegirl · 21/01/2019 00:01

Yup- I feel like this. Most of my team of 8 are in a clique (aka the boss’s favourites) and I’m not part of it. It feels like being back in school again.

CuriousMama · 21/01/2019 00:01

Yes and I'm applying for other jobs. I have an interview this week. I'm leaving because we get hit at work and not enough staff. Lots are leaving. I work shifts so depends when I'm in to if I feel crap.

NoMoreMarbles · 21/01/2019 00:03

I've been there and 4-5 months ago your post could have been written by me!

I was spending my time looking for reasons to call in sick and wishing illness on myself... I recognised it in myself and just rang my boss and quit! I couldn't bare another day of working there and my mental health was suffering massively so I prioritised me over the job. I decided to get some temp work and pretty much tripped over my current job... best decision I've made as I'm earning £5000 more and love the job! They gave me a perm contract in December (2 months early!) and I'm much happier! If you really can't just walk away without something else I would try Rec-rec companies for your chosen field and put some feelers out for something better.

choirmumoftwo · 21/01/2019 00:14

I feel your pain OP. My work doesn't get criticised but only because it's obvious who works and who doesn't (me and one other colleague), but my boss and so called team are so dysfunctional it's unreal. Can't leave though without risking my pension - thank goodness I can retire later this year at 55 otherwise I'd leave in a heartbeat!

nespresso1664 · 21/01/2019 00:28

Been there.. sorry you are there. I quit without having anything to go to. It's not worth being in such an environment. People were going on sick leave, litigation...

People make all the difference, more so if u have to leave your DC to spend 10 hours daily with them. And come back unhappy.

I'm now in a much better place although I am looking to move on again! Not for same reasons though.

Congrats choir I cannot wait to retire but it's at least 20 years more. I cannot fathom the next 20 years...

Original poster

Workfear · 21/01/2019 05:01

Oh I am applying for jobs, but there isn't much I can do in this area (of the country). I'm even applying for jobs far away just to get away from this although I would prefer to stay here.

Woken up just now, panicked and felt sick so had to calm myself down yet again. So now losing sleep thanks to these people.

I will love the day that I can leave though. Someone is gonna have to take over what I do and guess what? No one knows how yo do it because they never bothered to provide back up. They've realised though that if I leave they are screwed so are now trying to put plans in. It's being delayed though. Not having assistance doesn't help the stress. I went an entire year in a different role with no assistance whatsoever. And constant negativity from a different boss.

OP posts:

jessstan2 · 21/01/2019 05:09

Oh you poor thing, I was like then when I was young. So lacking in confidence, fearful of other people, my mind would go blank. I had quite a few bad starts in the early days, running away.

All I can op is that I eventually found something that really suited me, I learned a lot and grew in confidence - never looked back.

I'm sorry you've had such a hard time.

chordFire · 21/01/2019 05:21

Can you make that GP appointment and get signed off?

Original poster

Workfear · 21/01/2019 06:09

No chord fire as there is no one to do my job if I do. If it gets any worse though I will, but it doesn't look great to future employers that I'm currently off sick if I was to do that.

OP posts:

chordFire · 21/01/2019 06:50

If it gets worse than panicking and feeling sick at the thought of going to work? I think that sounds bad enough right now.

Leaving the work undone might make everyone realise how much you are doing. Only you know your limits though.

I just hate the thought of you ploughing through when you feel like this. I know when I've felt awful and really shouldn't have gone to work I did because I didn't have the right perspective to make the right decision. Only in hindsight have I wondered what on Earth was I thinking to go in when feeling so awful.

lavenderbluedilly · 21/01/2019 06:54

Yes. I can’t sleep well on a Sunday night and always wake up with dread on my working days. Like you, it’s my colleagues, or more specifically, one in particular. We are a tiny business and at least 4 people have left in the last 2 years due to this person. I’ve handed in my notice too, though had to give 6 months notice due to the nature of the role. I’m literally counting down the days!

EL2019 · 21/01/2019 06:57

If they dont have anyone to cover, that’s they’re problem, not yours. And you can get a job with a few days sick in your record, the new employer doesn’t have to know what it is for. Take a few days and brush up your CV and register with some temping agencies. If you really can’t take sick day, then use your annual leave.

ClanoftheCaveBear · 21/01/2019 07:00

When my anxiety is bad. I’m a dentist though so can’t look for another job easily. I’ve had a bit of counselling.

Corkleg · 21/01/2019 07:03

Sundaynightis is horrible.

Give yourself some breathing space and get signed off.

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