Anyone else get sick from fear of going to work?

[Workfear]

Every Sunday now I'm up late feeling nauceous because I have to go to work for another week. The work itself isn't a problem, it's my boss and the team to an extent.

It's just issues all the time, and petty ones at that. Complaints, nothing is good enough. I'm expected to work 4 times as hard as others, and still told to hurry up basically, yet if others screw up its like 'oh it's fine, nothing we can do anyway'. And the others screw up all the time, I honestly very rarely make a mistake.

There's always comments about my work, just snide little things that are annoying, it's nothing they can even reprimand me on. If anything, I could tell them to go do one and make my life easier, but I don't to help the team. Last year was very stressful and I almost went to the GP and asked to be put on sick leave.

I am looking for other work too, but that can't instantly happen of course so stuck for now. Just sick of feeling sick every week from anxiety just because my boss is an asshole.

Anyone else get this every week? We can help each other maybe, dunno how other than rant haha.

I sympathise as my work environment is becoming increasingly toxic. I am mid training (at my age - why???) and wont qualify for another 18m but then im seriuosly considering walking away.

The management is non existent- like actualy. Our branch manager/director quit and they can't recruit a replacement. There is no one suitable to take over in house. This leaves a rudderless ship with people trying to take over. It's always been a backstabby place to work but now people are just taking the piss.

I feel it too. It's awful.

I'd try to write down your job in comparison to others and try to explain to your manager how different and more you work - it sounds like your manager is rubbish!

You have my sympathy OP 💐

I could have written your post about 4 years ago. Work was causing me so much stress I was having panic attacks, being sick on my way in to work some mornings, and I used to fantasise about throwing myself in front of a car so I’d have a reason not to go in. Looking back I can’t believe I felt like that or allowed it to go on so long.

I went to my GP and was signed off for about 5 weeks in the end, started taking anti-anxiety medication and had some CBT sessions. I did manage another 6 months or so but was looking for another job the whole time. I’m now in a job I really enjoy and never worry about going in any more. Been off medication for over 2 years and just feel so much happier all round.

Hope you’re okay today; go and get yourself signed off if you’re not well and don’t worry about cover etc, that’s not your problem. Take care of yourself.

Been retired 2 years, still get the fears on a Sunday, bless you.

OP go there and tell yourself over and over that on 1 week, 1 month, 6 months, you won't be there any longer so whatever your boss or anyone else tells you really doesn't matter in the scheme of things. It's, temporary and will be part of your past before you know it.

Yes I've been there - and dealing with the double-whammy of being bullied at work and feeling I had no choice - I felt I was squeezed from all sides.

Both times I've taken drastic measures - after being off sick and actually having the head space to think a little rather than living in perpetual fear - I've quit and being forced into a corner I've had to find a solution and it's always worked out well. x

It sucks that so many people feel this way. Or have felt this way. It will get better though, just going to take a bit of time.

I was in an almost identical situation.

Feeling sick on a sunday night, fantasising about crashing my car on the drive in just enough to get the day off.

Like you, it was team morale and the managers attitude which was hell. Blaming employee laziness for stuff that was actually structural or higher up, but conversely using my success to beat others up with (while not actually praising me). telling me i was 'replaceable' after two years in a very very specialised design job (i wasn't) a massive workload the we just needed to 'get past' and never did in the two years.

the last 6 months i was gritting my teeth everyday to get through

I left before i had a break down.

Yes and I'm currently on a bus to work feeling sick as a dog.

I sent a job application off yesterday so praying that pays off!

PaintingOwls

Hope you get it.

Yes I have been there, it took lots if of me by the time I left I was out of work for over a year. It had a huge effect on me along with some other stuff.
Look for a different job, even looking will give you a boost. I am much happier now.

Me! My whole weekend was ruined because of the dread of work today. I’ve only just returned in September after being a SAHM. Love the kids. I’m at a school. But the staff... so gossipy, backstabbing, ready to throw each other under the bus, the head’s so frosty, she makes an ice block look like a hot water bottle, staff always telling me what to do to not get fired or disciplined (trying to scare me out of the place- it’s working!). It’s just full of people who’ve been there 20 years + and I’m the resented noob. I’m actively looking elsewhere but in the meantime, I’m incredibly low.

Sympathy fist bump and a hug, OP and all.

Can you go to GP and get anti-anxiety meds? Or something to get you through the days? Other people in this situation have been known to self medicate with alcohol - you don't want to go down that route.

Are you really doing 4 jobs when everyone is only doing 1? How is that possible?

If this is actually what’s happening though-surely the facts speak for themselves. I would schedule a meeting with your boss today and ask for a reduction in workload.

My stomach goes wobbly just reading this thread. I know exactly how you feel OP. I took early retirement last year rather than continuing to live with dread/fear all the time. I'm only about £100 a month worse off on my pension and I do temping jobs that I like the look of whenever I fancy it.

It was an arsehole of a boss that was at the root of it all. There are now 2 people doing my old job. I bumped into one of them when I was temping a few months ago. I asked her how she was liking the job. She said she absolutely hated it! I was a bit pleased with that because it meant it wasn't just me!

(ex-NHS)

This is a sign to look for another job.

I had a job like this. No resource to help, apparently. When I left I was replaced with 3.5 FTE . And one of them later told me she was snowed under....

Is it possible to move sideways within the company? A different boss can make a massive difference.

Are you really doing 4 jobs when everyone is only doing 1? How is that possible?

Very possible. I moved from my previous job (working by myself) and replaced with 3 people, to another job. I then a few weeks after starting that got asked by the big boss 'hey you can do this extra work too right? Cool bye' and they just kept adding extra little bits on every now and again. It's usually their work that they don't want to do. Not allowed to say no or you get given a pip, which again looks bad on job applications.

Other people on my team have said they couldn't do what I do. I know they couldn't. I have no choice.

I'm sorry you are having a horrible time. It's awful how many people are in this position. It's almost considered normal and acceptable.

In your position, assuming you are doing your best and your managers are genuingely being unreasonable, I'd start logging everything and collecting evidence. Particularly if you are being treated differently to your colleagues. It may constitute bullying. If you decide to go down that route, know what you are taking on and the likely outcomes. It might be the best thing for you to do but you need to go into with open eyes.

I don't want to sound like this post is about me, but I hope by sharing my experience, you'll have hope!

In my last job I had the same thing as you and every single night I would get in my car, drive somewhere no one from work could see me, have a huge cry, wipe my eyes and go and collect the children. If anyone commented on my red swollen eyes, I'd say it was allergies. Pretty much every day for 3 years.

I got signed off for almost 6 months after something fairly trivial broke the camels back and I walked out. During that time I realised I couldn't stay as I was.

I hadn't had any luck finding the type of job I wanted so I decided I had to compromise. I now earn significantly less so we've had to tighten our belts a little and it's not in the type of work I'd spent years training for but I don't spend all weekend worrying about Monday. I don't panic whenever I see managers walking towards me. I don't feel physically sick whenever a meeting request pops up in Outlook. I don't have to triple check my work whilst knowing full well there will still be something "wrong" with it. My "allergies" have also suddenly cleared up!

The pay cut and "deskilling" and change of role was kind of humiliating, it was almost like admitting to my managers I couldn't do the job.

I've never got my confidence and self-belief back. Every bi-yearly review says I need more confidence in myself and I can doubt myself unnessecreily and I shouldn't need to constantly check everything. But 3 years on, I'm actually happy at work. I still sometimes wish I was doing what I trained for and I'll never earn what I was earning but the compromises were worth it.

A horrible job isn't your life. There are ways out of it bit it's about making choices on what is important and aboit looking wider for alternatives. X

In between can you try doing some mindfulness techniques so at least whilst you have to be there u can manage ur fears to do so.its amazing hun and might just be a little saviour.some great body scans and 're thinking to calm ur brain and body wen u feel like ur free falling.

I had a job like this it was the worst job I have ever had, my boss was a psychopath. My Monday fear used to start on Saturday morning. My self esteem and confidence in my ability went through the floor, I was tearful and irritable at home, it was awful awful awful. I left after 3 months, which coincided with them extending my probation period for completely unjustified reasons.

There were amazing people there doing the same job as me, very talented, mature, experienced men, earning the company a fortune who literally quaked in their boots and broke out in sweat when they had to meet or speak with our bosses. I will never to the day I die understand why they put up with their shit.

Are you really doing 4 jobs when everyone is only doing 1? How is that possible?

Well it’s not possible to do a good job, but I’ve done four peoples work before. I started off replacing two people, then both the European and global client leads left (one had a breakdown at the stress.)

Did I just about hold it together? Yes. was it a thorough job done? Nope.
Was it stressful- very.

Also, upper management kept telling me I was going g great (I wasn’t) and insinuating that I could cover all roles. It took a polite but very direct meeting in which I told them I’d be looking for another job ifthey didn’t replace people for them to replace them.

Some companies will work you until you break, and if no one is breaking they wont do anything.

workfear have you spoken to any manager about how work is making you feel?

What helped for me was going in with a list of what I was given to do, then highlight what I can realistically do (really actually do in paid hours), and state really clearly that the rest needs to either be given to someone else or written off competely.

It may not work, but it helps give back some sense of control - it also helps to be assertive in this, they know it cant be done but I think "Sweating the assets" approach to management is just becoming far more common.

On the darker end, a job left me feeling suicidal after a relentless 6 months, NO JOB is worth your health.

Been there. It's bullying.

I ended up walking out and not going back because it got to the point I was contemplating self harm. It wrecked my mental health (which, admittedly was a bit shaky anyway) and damaged my physical health as I was constantly ill.

Get your CV together, update your Linked In profile, make a list of all of your old contacts that you have worked with over the years, and start looking for a new job.