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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To use my phone as an alarm clock?

123 replies

dellacucina · 19/01/2019 22:08

It occasionally goes off on a day off because of how the settings work (and obviously my failing to check it every night). I would say this happens once every two months absolute maximum.

It went off this morning and DH flipped out at me. He insists that I should use a real alarm clock. He separately wants to ban my phone from the bedroom, which probably heightens his anger about the alarm.

I really prefer to just use my phone, in part because I am a very heavy sleeper and I am able to set my phone alarm to go off twice. AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
dellacucina · 19/01/2019 23:19

No worries. I still want to know when I am being unreasonable.

I could actually tell more stories about how nutty DH is about his sleep (but won't) - the problem is that he is like this about a lot of things and I find it too exhausting to follow every single rule he tries to set.

I can see that this is a divisive issue and there are different reasonable viewpoints on it.

OP posts:
Original poster
dellacucina · 19/01/2019 23:22

MirriVan I had never fully thought about it before. Rather than focusing on the 'repeat'button, I had selected M-F for the days the alarm goes off and I thought that worked ok. It doesn't go off at the wrong time very often

He also is fixated on his own solution so I was defending myself/dealing with his insistence rather than carefully thinking about my phone settings.

OP posts:
MirriVan · 19/01/2019 23:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Aridane · 19/01/2019 23:31

I don't think the alarm is that loud. It wakes me, the main problem is that I need to be woken several times to actually truly wake up

Ah, you're one of those!

Hotterthanahotthing · 19/01/2019 23:48

I use my phone as I work shifts so can set a week at a time however now I have a bed and room if my own I can hit the snooze button as much as I want.
This sounds for you though OP like a bigger problem than alarms.What else is happening to make you post?

ILoveChristmasLights · 19/01/2019 23:57

YANBU to use your phone.

He IS be8ng his usual controlling twattish self yelling and demanding you do as he tells you to.

When are yo going to leave?

JaneJeffer · 19/01/2019 23:59

I thought everyone used their phone for an alarm.

Lalliella · 20/01/2019 00:01

YANBU to use your phone. He is a control freak, and that is a very odd thing to want to control. Presumably he tries to control you in other areas too? You need to decide whether you want to live with it, tackle it, or leave.

Cambionome · 20/01/2019 00:10

I've just realised that I've seen your previous threads about your dh...

Why are you still tiptoeing around this awful man and worrying about his reactions? You know he's vile and controlling, and you've certainly been told that many times on here.

Original poster
dellacucina · 20/01/2019 00:13

Cambionome I wanted to know what the consensus is on this particular issue - and it seems to be that i have been a little unreasonable in this instance...

OP posts:
IWantMyHatBack · 20/01/2019 00:16

I don't think you're being unreasonable. I think a lot of people are assuming that your alarm is going off multiple times while you lay there snoring.

I suspect there's much more to this.

Moreisnnogedag · 20/01/2019 00:17

Bloody hell! It’s an alarm going off for a tiny bit of time - fine to harrumph but getting proper arsey about it just isn’t on. The OP has made it clear its not often and she switches off her alarm and doesn’t hit snooze indefinitely.

I’d be perfectly fine if my DH asked if I’d try out an alarm clock but demanding it? Nah. Also ban phones? He is perfectly free not to use his own but as a grown assed woman the OP can decide whether she wants her phone at night or not.

I use my phone rather than an alarm clock specifically because its less intrusive for my DH and generally only wakes me.

Maelstrop · 20/01/2019 00:18

Is he autistic? He seems overly concerned about this and insisting on a certain way of doing things is a common theme with the children I deal with. Are there other issues over which he wants control?

IWantMyHatBack · 20/01/2019 00:18

BTW, my lumie light is really good (I use it alongside my mobile, which is a back up alarm). Lumie light also has a really loud back up alarm. FYI

PickAChew · 20/01/2019 00:24

Using your phone is absolutely fine. Mine actually wakes me up while I sleep through my fitbit, most mornings.

Your partner's response to your mistake sounds ott, though. I can understand grumpy, but the appropriate level of grumpy would accept an apology.

Original poster
dellacucina · 20/01/2019 00:24

IWantMyHatBack he has a Lumie actually. I despise it. Come to think of it, his alarm recently went off on a day off...

OP posts:
Original poster
dellacucina · 20/01/2019 00:27

Maelstrop he doesn't have any diagnoses but I don't think he is emotionally normal. Yes, he is very controlling. We also have to go to bed at the same time(I can't come later), he gets very worked up about small expenditures, etc etc

OP posts:
almutasakieun · 20/01/2019 00:27

It's a personal bugbear of mine too. My ex used to have the alarm go off at 6am, snooze it and keep snoozing it.

then when it was the weekend, he'd repeat the same pattern, thus depriving me of any chance of sleep.
I used to be fit to be tied.
So for me, YABU.

IWantMyHatBack · 20/01/2019 00:27

I love my lumie, but have disabled the noisy bit.

He sounds like a controlling git. Interesting how he expects you to compromise, but I bet he isn't considerate when his alarm wakes you up?

IWantMyHatBack · 20/01/2019 00:29

It's a personal bugbear of mine too. My ex used to have the alarm go off at 6am, snooze it and keep snoozing it, then when it was the weekend, he'd repeat the same pattern, thus depriving me of any chance of sleep.

That's not what the OP is doing!

Gah.. Wish people would read the fucking thread

CrochetBug · 20/01/2019 00:37

Thanks to this thread I just realised my alarm was set to go off tomorrow and turned it off Grin

Before anyone berates me for it being on I work shifts and can't set it for the 2 week rotations I work. It was still set from last Sunday when I did have to get up.

OnlyaMan · 20/01/2019 00:41

It does not matter whatever device one or both of you use to wake up. It might be a 'phone, and alarm clock, or an old fashioned "Knocker-up", who taps on your window in time for you to get to "T'Mill".
If it is set wrong, the person who set it wrong is at fault.

BlackCatSleeping · 20/01/2019 00:53

Do you have kids together?

I just wonder if you are truly happy in this relationship.

Birdsupinthesky · 20/01/2019 01:01

I haven't read the full thread but I had to reply to this as I implemented a no phones/computers in the bedroom on 1 Jan this year as a NY resolution and it has changed my life already - I am so much more productive it's unreal. I have already ready 2 books this year and spent much less time on FB, MN etc that don't enhance my life in any way.

Why don't you try an alarm clock (they're about a fiver), even just for a month? You might find it benefits you as well as your DH. But get one you have to set every day, otherwise the issue will be the same if not worse than with your phone!

hickerydickerydockmouse · 20/01/2019 01:32

I used to have this one which was extremely loud

www.maisonsdumonde.com/UK/en/p/green-metal-vintage-style-alarm-clock-arthur-171988.htm?esvt=-&esvq=&esvadt=999999---1&esvcrea=293727947023&esvplace=&esvd=c&esvaid=50084&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI5I7965r73wIVi6iaCh3e_AsGEAkYASABEgIaVPD_BwE

it would wake the whole world up but I would be able to sleep through it. Phones are much better in this regards as you can change the settings of the ringer to be low or vibrate only. Although for me it never works and I only wake up if my husband wakes me up.

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