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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To use my phone as an alarm clock?

123 replies

dellacucina · 19/01/2019 22:08

It occasionally goes off on a day off because of how the settings work (and obviously my failing to check it every night). I would say this happens once every two months absolute maximum.

It went off this morning and DH flipped out at me. He insists that I should use a real alarm clock. He separately wants to ban my phone from the bedroom, which probably heightens his anger about the alarm.

I really prefer to just use my phone, in part because I am a very heavy sleeper and I am able to set my phone alarm to go off twice. AIBU?

OP posts:
MaHeidsGouping · 19/01/2019 22:57

My teenager started a early morning paper round, he uses his phone....only the phone doesn't wake him up it wakes me up. Drives me insane, I bought him a vibrating band.

I do hate being woken up if I don't have to be.

Original poster
dellacucina · 19/01/2019 22:59

There is a background here (likely emotional abuse) but that's the reason for the question - sometimes I am not sure if I am actually being unreasonable.

OP posts:
Gth1234 · 19/01/2019 22:59

Any alarm clock can go off at the wrong time. A phone is better because you can set the days, if you bother.

Original poster
dellacucina · 19/01/2019 23:00

Wolfiefan he will only accept that his solution is the answer

OP posts:
Grace212 · 19/01/2019 23:01

him being an abusive git makes it completely different, this isn't about a phone or an alarm. Flowers

elle1111112 · 19/01/2019 23:01

ShastaBeast I am apologetic, but he gets extremely bent out of shape over it and goes for the jugular. This morning when it went off, he immediately yelled at me, complained it had gone off the day before (I had to work), angrily told me that he has given me a normal alarm clock that I should be using, and bitterly complained that we had stayed up watching a show because I wanted to (I didn't make him do this)

Hmm OP you are in the wrong. People are allowed to be angry. Stop being such a baby. Would you be happy if you wanted to sleep in and your partner woke you up?!

Original poster
dellacucina · 19/01/2019 23:03

elle1111112 ok, so you think IABU.

I know it's annoying, but I wouldn't be that upset at someone unless they did something intentionally. I thought it was quite mean of him to try to make me feel bad for spending time together the night before.

OP posts:
2019Dancerz · 19/01/2019 23:04

Do you have a fitbit? You can use that as an alarm and i find it very effective. It's silent, it just vibrates

ChasedByBees · 19/01/2019 23:06

He is acting like your boss, when he’s meant to be your equal. He doesn’t get to tell you to use a different thing, you have your own mind. Is he like this with other things?

BlancheM · 19/01/2019 23:06

My god, is there anything your DH isn't controlling about? Hope you're ok, it must be like walking on eggshells.

Fiddie · 19/01/2019 23:07

Is it an iPhone? Use Bedtime if so, it's brilliant.

LtJudyHopps · 19/01/2019 23:07

OP you are in the wrong. People are allowed to be angry. Stop being such a baby. Would you be happy if you wanted to sleep in and your partner woke you up?!

Bit bloody harsh!! Absolutely no need to call OP a baby.

I’d be a bit annoyed but I wouldn’t be this angry! It’s OTT, these things happen unfortunately. His reaction is unreasonable, I could understand a little moan but to banish your phone from the bedroom like you’re a child is ridiculous.

Wolfiefan · 19/01/2019 23:08

What have you suggested as an alternative?

LtJudyHopps · 19/01/2019 23:08

@fiddie what is Bedtime? Never heard of it

Witchofzog · 19/01/2019 23:09

It's not the fact that it's a phone. That's the red herring. It's the fact that YOU are slack in setting it correctly. Dp and I both use our phones as alarm clocks. I have a Samsung and have it on "once only" meaning I set it every night. Dp's phone is a huawei and isn't as easy. He has to actively turn his off otherwise it goes off the next day. We have had rows over this too as I am a very light sleeper and if he doesn't turn it off it keeps me and only me awake. It's selfish to not be on top of your alarm if you know it disturbs your partner so yabu.

BackforGood · 19/01/2019 23:09

Like most other people, I think you are asking 2 (or 3) different questions.

AIBU to have my alarm go off when neither of us have to get up, therefore waking us up unnecessarily? - the answer is 'yes, YABU

However

AIBU to use the alarm on my phone (with all other text / social media alerts turned off, so is ONLY the alarm noise) ? - the answer is 'no'

AIBU to not get up when my alarm goes off, and therefore disturb my partner not only once, but twice when he doesn't need to get up - Yes, YABU

Wingedharpy · 19/01/2019 23:10

I do think that being woken un-necessarily by ANYONE is grounds for justifiable homicide, personally.

Can't/won't comment on the other stuff.

SaturdayNext · 19/01/2019 23:11

Why are you so fixated on using your phone and nothing else? You can get a cheap and cheerful alarm clock or clock radio with a snooze function. Better still, f you want a gentle awakening, go for a clock where the light comes on gradually - I've got one of those and it's one of the best purchases I ever made. I regularly wake up with the light before the alarm itself goes off, and it offers you a choice of alarm sounds and the radio to reduce the pain even more.

Original poster
dellacucina · 19/01/2019 23:12

I have now looked more carefully at the phone settings and unticked the 'repeat' button. This should take care of the problem.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 19/01/2019 23:14

But you couldn’t do that before? Confused

Original poster
dellacucina · 19/01/2019 23:14
Blush
OP posts:
elle1111112 · 19/01/2019 23:15

ok, so you think IABU

I know it's annoying, but I wouldn't be that upset at someone unless they did something intentionally. I thought it was quite mean of him to try to make me feel bad for spending time together the night before

The exact same thing happened with me and my boyfriend a few days ago, he woke me up with his phone alarm, and I got pissed off that he woke me up, he apologised (because it was a weekend and shouldn't have gone off). He wouldn't call that being abusive lol because I just snapped at the time because I was angry at the time about it.

Sorry my reply sounded more harsh than I meant it. Maybe he is abusive in other instances but I wouldn't call losing your temper at being woken up abusive.

MirriVan · 19/01/2019 23:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

shouldwestayorshouldwego · 19/01/2019 23:18

It would be a shame if his travel alarm accidentally went off on a weekend.... Easily done too especially if 24hr clock. Before I used my phone I would turn alarm off and then on again for the next day.

You are an adult I wouldn't let him dictate to me like that.

jessstan2 · 19/01/2019 23:18

Nothing wrong with using your 'phone as an alarm clock, lots of people do but if you are sharing a bed with someone and on a day off, switch it off! It's not fair to other people to have alarms going off when not necessary. My husb has done that occasionally and I get very cross about it, it's inconsiderate.