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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To use my phone as an alarm clock?

123 replies

dellacucina · 19/01/2019 22:08

It occasionally goes off on a day off because of how the settings work (and obviously my failing to check it every night). I would say this happens once every two months absolute maximum.

It went off this morning and DH flipped out at me. He insists that I should use a real alarm clock. He separately wants to ban my phone from the bedroom, which probably heightens his anger about the alarm.

I really prefer to just use my phone, in part because I am a very heavy sleeper and I am able to set my phone alarm to go off twice. AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
dellacucina · 19/01/2019 22:31

When I do it, it's a grave offence because I have been told what to do instead. He basically acts like it is an intentional act

OP posts:
IWantMyHatBack · 19/01/2019 22:31

He sounds charming

Original poster
dellacucina · 19/01/2019 22:31

I have two alarms. I usually turn the second one off before it rings. It's just a safety net.

OP posts:
C8H10N4O2 · 19/01/2019 22:33

You could just as easily forget to check the time on an alarm clock. Both will make a noise - that is the point of them.

What is his issue with the phone as an alarm other than being an arse?

SandyY2K · 19/01/2019 22:34

The real question is whether I am unreasonable to use the phone despite his protests.
YANBU

I can't imagine my husband trying to dictate my phone use as an alarm.

I'd simply refuse.

Why has he flipped over being woken up anyway. It's quite an overreaction IMO.

Perfectly1mperfect · 19/01/2019 22:37

We stopped using alarm clocks years ago use our phones. Just try to make sure it's turned off for days off but he's overreacting and YANBU.

Original poster
dellacucina · 19/01/2019 22:37

SandyY2K he is really obsessed with his sleep

OP posts:
MsSquiz · 19/01/2019 22:37

Is it an iPhone? Because you can set the alarm to go off on specific days only, so there's no need to remember to check it every night.

Also, an iPhone alarm will work even if the phone is set to silent by clicking the side button, as long as the alarm volume is set.

I can see his frustration of an alarm going off unnecessarily

Missingstreetlife · 19/01/2019 22:38

The real question is, is your partner abusive? He sounds it

GB54 · 19/01/2019 22:39

DH drives me mad leaving his phone alarm on at weekends or snoozing 5x every morning but I’d never tell him he couldn’t use it! Overreaction from your partner.

Grace212 · 19/01/2019 22:39

does he want you to use an alarm clock because it's less likely to go off on the wrong day?

can't say I blame him tbh.

MereDintofPandiculation · 19/01/2019 22:40

DH's phone went off an hour before I needed to wake up, and half an hour before he needed to wake up. He then spent several minutes working out what was making the noise, then several minutes more working out how to stop it. When he did this for the third day running, I told him his phone was not welcome in our bedroom, and neither was he if he couldn't bear to be parted from it. He finally realised I was a bit cross.

Original poster
dellacucina · 19/01/2019 22:42

Also, the alarm starts off quiet and gets louder. it makes a sort of pleasant chiming sound, not an obnoxious loud buzz.

OP posts:
Original poster
dellacucina · 19/01/2019 22:43

MereDintofPandiculation does he still use his phone?

This doesn't happen very often and certainly not on consecutive days.

OP posts:
MyKingdomForBrie · 19/01/2019 22:44

Well I'd be really pissed off to be woken up early on the weekend (well normally I would, right now I'm bfing a gannet so I'd be awake anyway!) and might swear/mutter - just because you can be unreasonable when shocked out of sleep, but his reaction doesn't really make sense - why would a different kind of clock help?! Doesn't make sense why it went off either though if you have it set for weekdays only.

Grace212 · 19/01/2019 22:48

" why would a different kind of clock help?! "

I haven't used an alarm clock for years because I use my phone. However, I'm guessing the OP has the phone alarm set in a way that risks it going off on the wrong days, whereas an old fashioned alarm clock would have to be reset again each night?

also OP the fact that you have several alarms going off must be driving him nuts.

Wolfiefan · 19/01/2019 22:49

I don’t get enough sleep. I have medical conditions that mean that any sleep I can get is precious.
I would be pissed off at alarms going off on my day off.
I would be pissed off if a partner CBA to get out of bed but kept hitting snooze instead of getting out of bed when the alarm goes off.
You may find the sound pleasant. Your partner may not.

SoupOnMyTableNowSir · 19/01/2019 22:49

I have an android phone and I can set the phone to automatically turn itself onto priority at different times on weekdays and weekends. Therefore I don't have to do it myself, it does it for me at set times.

This allows for alarms to ring that I set for weekdays only, no need for early wakings on a weekend here and priority phone calls, no texts/whatsapp. So if my family need to ring me they can get hold of me as I have set them to priority in phone book.

You need to use your phone settings to help you out. And no you don't need a separate alarm clock.

MirriVan · 19/01/2019 22:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

borntobequiet · 19/01/2019 22:53

It doesn’t sound as though you get on very well. What are your plans for the future?

2019Dancerz · 19/01/2019 22:53

OPhow much more evidence are you needing that your OP and you need to split?

Original poster
dellacucina · 19/01/2019 22:54
  1. It isn't set to go off on Saturday, I must have bumped that when I updated the alarm last
  2. Usually only one of my alarms goes off and I turn them both off but I have the second one as a backstop. Usually DD wakes us or he has to get up at the same time anyway, so he rarely hears the alarm. Mornings are very difficult for me.
OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 19/01/2019 22:56

It doesn’t sound like you’re making them easy for him either.
Talk to you partner and agree a way forward?

Grace212 · 19/01/2019 22:57
  1. is exactly why I was thinking a clock would be better. however, I've seen I've missed another post about him that makes him sound very controlling, so not sure if this is one of those posts that's really about something else.
Flooffloof · 19/01/2019 22:57

Hmmm fence sitting. Sorry.
I use my phone alarm cos I can set it up in advance to go off specific days and times. I need sleep, I can sometimes cry because I haven't slept much and DPs alarm goes off unexpectedly. But I wouldn't dream of telling him to get rid of his clock radio (the old fart) because we both have to get up stupid early although I am up first, and generally it doesn't affect me. But still days I don't have to get up it's bloody annoying.