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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To email school AGAIN re religious assemblies

999 replies

pineapplepenthouse · 19/01/2019 00:09

I have twins in year 4 both in different classes. I have expressed my feelings about not letting them be involved in religious assemblies or having anything to do with religion. My children are in different classes. Today for the third time my DDs has come home saying he has been included in the religious assembly.
I have strong feelings on this but other mums just say 'it's not a big deal' and 'it didn't do us any harm'.

AIBU?

OP posts:
TheLostTargaryen · 19/01/2019 10:08

I am very surprised by the hypocritical views on this thread though I am happy to be corrected if I have assumed wrongly. Please tell me, those saying that it isn't a problem and just to go along with it, would you, HONESTLY be fine with it if you discovered that at the end of assemblies your sons were given a prayer rug, had to face towards Mecca, remove their shoes and repeatedly prostrate themselves (going from standing to bowing, kneeling then face to floor) whilst reciting passages from the Qur'an?

It is perfectly acceptable to ask children to pray, but only in one way? To a Christian god? One can teach about religion so that the children have a full, well rounded education, but to force them to act it out, to take part and actively pray should be banned whatever religion it is.

I am now an atheist after being raised Roman Catholic. I think that RE should be compulsory because it gives us an understanding of other people and cultures, literature, art and history. The teacher in this case is very wrong. It's not their choice to override a parent's wishes.

My own DC take part in Christian religious ceremonies at their non-denominational school and I haven't been too bothered because I am happy to counter at home what they have been told is fact by giving them real, logical facts, just as I would if someone told them that the Earth was flat or that vaccines were bad.

Noah's Ark for example caused a few laughs with me when I asked if the kids knew how many men lived to 600 years old and could build a boat big enough for a billion or more animals for over a month. I also pointed out that breeding closely related animals causes genetic defects which meant that two (or even a group) of every animal would not be able to successfully repopulate the Earth after a so called benevolent god threw a temper tantrum and killed every man, woman and baby, innocent or not.

Elfinablender · 19/01/2019 10:15

Please tell me, those saying that it isn't a problem and just to go along with it, would you, HONESTLY be fine with it if you discovered that at the end of assemblies your sons were given a prayer rug, had to face towards Mecca, remove their shoes and repeatedly prostrate themselves (going from standing to bowing, kneeling then face to floor) whilst reciting passages from the Qur'an?

Yeah, of course because it's just, like, a little bit of exercising and relaxation. How could anyone have anything against exercise and relaxation? You wouldn't want to exclude your kids from all their friends, would you? What are teachers meant to do with your kids if they won't participate in the exercise and relaxation? HmmHmm

Passmethecrisps · 19/01/2019 10:16

3 classes per year group would be a big school by Scottish standards. Not necessarily not rural and not necessarily not a village school.

My school has a feeder primary of a similar size but it serves both a large village and all the surrounding farms.

pineapplepenthouse · 19/01/2019 10:21

@Passmethecrisps sounds similar. There are a lot of farms nearby and also a smaller village which doesn't have a school.

OP posts:
Squidgee · 19/01/2019 10:22

Those of you saying the teachers opinion matters more than the parents... i'm Pagan.. would you all be fine if I started teaching the kids my religion as Fact?

Sending them home with little athame, instructions on how to build an altar and cast spells? Telling them there is a Goddess and a God and that all the Christian festivals are actually knock offs of the Pagan Sabbats?

Its not up to the teachers. They have been given an instruction by the parents and that ought to be respected.

leaveby10 · 19/01/2019 10:22

The school was fab and did teach about other faiths including trips to the local mosque, synagogue, sikh temple, buddhist temple, etc. All the christian children went. All the Muslim children were withdrawn. @OhTheRoses Any idea what the atheist children did? I note they didn't worship the other Gods in assembly though - again you are confusing worship and education!

gamerwidow · 19/01/2019 10:24

You honestly can’t tell the difference between a community church and McDonald’s?
Well there’s churches and then there are ‘churches’.
We’ve got a lot of the big evangelical ones springing up locally that are big on the advertising and money making rather than community engagement.

pineapplepenthouse · 19/01/2019 10:26

I just asked DD what she did yesterday whilst everyone was at assembly. She sat in the reception area colouring in. I asked if she'd rather be at assembly. Her words. 'Nope'.

I'm more than happy for my DC to be taught about religion, I'm just not happy it being taught as a fact.

We wouldn't allow anything else untrue be taught to our children so why is religion allowed? I just don't get it?

OP posts:
Femaleassassin · 19/01/2019 10:26

I don't see a massive difference between education and worship as the latter includes the former. I really wouldn't mind what my kids did. I bought them up to have minds of their own and form their own views

Passmethecrisps · 19/01/2019 10:30

You need to send a copy of your email in as a physical letter so it can go in the PPR. Not everywhere has good systems for printing emails which come in and not all schools use an electronic record keeping system yet. Hence requests getting lost between teachers and schools.

What does your son say about the assembly? Would he rather go? There is a small possibility that he would rather just be with his pals. I don’t know him obviously but that’s always a possibility.

We are atheist but my MIL is a churchgoer. We have decided just to go with the religious assemblies for our kids as they do seem well framed in “some people believe”. That’s fine with us. If it becomes he’ll fire and brimstone then it won’t be.

Squidgee · 19/01/2019 10:35

I think the thing is, there is a huge difference between R.E in lesson, where you learn the facts and history of a religion, and actively being in an act of worship and being expected to participate and pray to a Deity.

I have no issue with the former, the latter I do.

I dont choose to withdraw my kids from worship, but i'm also VERY open about the fact i'm Pagan and my own beliefs and talk about religion with my kids quite a bit.

OhDearGodLookAtThisMess · 19/01/2019 10:35

I would move my child to the other class

Not your decision. That's for the HT to decide.

FamilyOfAliens · 19/01/2019 10:36

We’ve got a lot of the big evangelical ones springing up locally that are big on the advertising and money making rather than community engagement.

True. However, in my post I stated clearly that the church coming into our school is a community church, not one of those you describe.

Pinkyyy · 19/01/2019 10:36

So you can't have a discussion with your children about your views? You have to completely shut them off from anything other than what you believe

FamilyOfAliens · 19/01/2019 10:37

I would save your energy for when Mermaids come into your child’s school, tbh.

Pinkyyy · 19/01/2019 10:41

I'm from a very closed community and I encourage my children to learn about other ways of life. Only then, are they in a position to make educated decisions about their own life and what they want to include in it

Elfinablender · 19/01/2019 10:44

*We’ve got a lot of the big evangelical ones springing up locally that are big on the advertising and money making rather than community engagement.

True. However, in my post I stated clearly that the church coming into our school is a community church, not one of those you describe*

Even the regular old community churches have a stake in membership and must market their wares.

People have never been less interested in attending church and this starts to deligitimise the tight relationship between the church and politics. That platform of power is eroding under their feet.

Elfinablender · 19/01/2019 10:45

I would save your energy for when Mermaids come into your child’s school, tbh.

I'm not cool with any faith based advertising in school.

FamilyOfAliens · 19/01/2019 10:48

I agree with that sentiment, Pinkyy.

However, I worry about organisations coming into schools to push a message to children and young people.

When The Scoiety for the Protection of Unborn Children were due to come into DS’s secondary school Year 9 class, I made an appointment with the HT to make sure they knew of the more pernicious aspects of the organisation. As a result the school withdrew the invitation.

I think schools need to be sure there’s no indoctrination going on, but weekly worship doesn’t fall into that category, imo.

gamerwidow · 19/01/2019 10:48

familyofaliens I wouldn’t like this unless other community faith groups were given an invite into the school as well. it’s just giving them a platform for propaganda. if they were that great and altruistic a group they’d give the service to the community without the dogma.

gamerwidow · 19/01/2019 10:49

However, I worry about organisations coming into schools to push a message to children and young people.
Can you really not see the irony here...

GreenTulips · 19/01/2019 10:50

We wouldn't allow anything else untrue be taught to our children

What about fiction, cartoons, Santa, fairies, make believe, pretend games, tooth fairy, Easter bunny, all ‘not true’

FamilyOfAliens · 19/01/2019 10:50

Can you really not see the irony here...

No.

Weekly worship, allowing parents to withdraw children if they so wish, and evangelism are not the same, imo.

gamerwidow · 19/01/2019 10:51

A a church group coming in every week to do bible stories is evangelism Confused

GloomyMonday · 19/01/2019 10:52

"I'm more than happy for my DC to be taught about religion, I'm just not happy it being taught as a fact."

Is that what happens in your schools assemblies? Our school doesn't mention anything religious until the end, when the Head says 'I'm going to end with a prayer, say amen at the end if you believe in the words.'

I think it's inclusive and respectful of all religions and none.

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