Invitations to MY house and I'm not invited...

[cantbearsed007]

He just moved in. To my house. I love him dearly.

Invite through the post - to him. Only him. He's clarified with them - I'm not invited.

Christening / bah-mitzvah / wedding breakfast / funeral wake type invite.

"We're restricted on numbers. Oh there's simply no room for HER."

AIBU to be a little peeved?

You will get a lot of right on types prattling on about how he doesn't have to be attached to your hip , blah blah blag, but to most people , this is really fucking rude.

I don’t think you should encourage him to go. It’s a group of friends who I presume you will have fairly regular contact with in the future? So this really needs to be aired, as otherwise it will be awkward for you and doesn’t set the way for good future relations.

Thank your DP and say that yes as you will all be friends in the future, that this needs to be addressed now.

"We're restricted on numbers. Oh there's simply no room for HER."

Was it worded exactly like that on the invite - upper case on the HER and no use of your given name?

Because I don't know that I could be bothered getting my knickers in a knot over the non-invite per se, far less it was delivered to your house, but if it was worked as above, then that, I grant you, is very rude.

don't be hard on yourself now op.yuor feeling are what they are and so valid.and I think you've had enough response to know others would feel hurt too.
lots of us really get it.and so im sorry this has happened.
because no matter how we can try and be "oh ill get by it tra la la." its still hurts eh. so this says more about them than you.and that will hurt but then youll get through it with a bit of compassion to yourself now.
mae sure you and dp talk and are on the same place with it so there is no unheard or hurt feelings.
could he ask why you were invited.as close friends I would?

Yanbu to feel rejected by people you considered your friends.
If anyone mentions the celebration boldly say you know nothing about it. “I wasn’t even invited” most decent people will see that the invite is rude. That will be on them, not you.
I suspect they don’t have room for 3 (you and your 2 dc) but don’t want to say that.
I hope you dp stands by you, especially since you are having a baby together and by the sounds of it where all a group of friends together, not your dps girlfriend with no connection.

OP, are you and your DP unmarried, and do these "friends" hosting the christening have religious beliefs that make that a problem for them?

I have been with my husband 6 years 1 and a half married.

My friend who I have known over 30 years has only invited me to the christening of her baby boy as the church is strict on numbers (I am the only non family member invited)

Didn’t bother me at all - she explained when giving the invite. They probably should have given a heads up but his friends don’t automatically become yours, if they have known him years and not had chance to get to know you I think it’s fine to not be invited.

Be gracious and say would be nice to have them all over after the christening to get to know the family more, then when a birthday comes up you are invited to the party!

All these people that say this is normal
It’s really not

Look, ultimately, if after proper reflection and not just emotional response, it seems like - everything in consideration - YOU are being singled out... then, yes, DP stays home with you and you do something nice together. Just be sure that about what is happening before you act.

@Linlou82, OP has been friends with the couple longer than she's been with her OP. That's why she's upset - they're her friends, independently, too. It's not the same situation.

Whatever the party is, whoever it is for, the point surely is that the venue of the party is at OP's house!!

I am very sorry... nah I Ilie. Until your laddie grows up enough to take responsibility for a party, it bloody well is not happening. Most especially when you are not even invited. I know it is likely unfair, but it sounds as tho he has left his parents home, and moved in with you. The first thing to do? RAR let's have a party!! And who, I wonder will be nursing his poor wee head, while cleaning up after their party?

I am not trying to be mean to you op. Actually, this thought sounds very familiar to me. Do not let him, and his mates take the piss out of you.

I mean 1. They clearly prefer him

1. There is defo a resson you have not been invited 🙈
2. Are you planning on christening your baby ? If so didn’t invite either of them

Since you’ve been together for 17,560 I think he should refuse to go.

josbd - did you read ANY of the thread?

josbd at least try and pretend you’ve read the thread.

That takes cancel the cheque into the stratosphere.

I've read responses where people haven't read beyond the OP, so many times, but never one where someone hasn't even done that. Until now!

(I've had a thought, which would have been worthless here admittedly - I wish MN would create an emoticon for cancelling the cheque. If enough people posted it in a complex and long thread, it might alert newcomers to actually read the damn thing. And the capacity to post it would be cheering anyway!)

perfectstorm - I love the idea of a cancel the cheque emoticon! I’m going to try to flag your post up to MNHQ in the hope that they will create one!

Personally if this had happened to us We'd send a message back saying thanks and hope you have a lovely time, but as places are tight we'd be more than happy to go out for a meal /picnic/brunch etc at a later date to celebrate together.

josbd 🙄

I think it's unusual OP. Especially since you've known them 3 years.

I think dp should make an excuse and not go.

It's a bit of a blatant snub as it doesn't really sound a number issue.

Are your kids well behaved op?

Is there any way you can check if it really is a number issue?

They may just have a no ring no bring rule to limit numbers.

Oh also are you Christian? They may be only inviting Christians?

@YankeeDad and @MatildaTheCat - I don't think it's a strict conformist religion thing, they certainly never raised it for the 3 yrs I known them, nor did they have issues crashing here frequently after a night out - so alcohol no issue, staying in my house with me and OH when he didn't live here no issue.

@josbd  - inserts cancel the cheque emoticon (great idea @perfectstorm!)

@HumptyNumptyNooNoo - that's a really good idea.

@Yulebealrite - my kids are kids. But yes. They are well behaved. Bribery and corruption is used, obviously, but yes they are good. They've hung out with these people enough for them to know that. Having said that just worked out the weekends and they're with their dad then anyways.