Invitations to MY house and I'm not invited...

[cantbearsed007]

He just moved in. To my house. I love him dearly.

Invite through the post - to him. Only him. He's clarified with them - I'm not invited.

Christening / bah-mitzvah / wedding breakfast / funeral wake type invite.

"We're restricted on numbers. Oh there's simply no room for HER."

AIBU to be a little peeved?

Halfwitpicker I thought cat too!

My OH gets invited to things, just him, all the time. I don't give it a thought.

They don’t sound very nice. The obvious answer is to invite them both to the christening of your baby but stipulate adults only. 😬 Then invite everyone else with kids. I’m not serious btw.

Who cares? Why do you even want to go to every wedding, funeral etc with people you very likely don’t even know. I’d enjoy the day or make plans of my own.

The fact the invite came to your house is irrelevant. It's his home now too.

I'd be a little peeved about not being invited, but since it's a christening and they are not that fun, I'd probably just let him go, and do something more fun with my DC that day...

Very vague - need more details - also the MY house comment is odd - are you going to carry on making feel that way?

It's your CAT, isn't it?

He's more popular than you are.

If it's any consolation,I'm in the same boat.

You are having a child together - you should both be invited.
He should politely decline.

It's strange that you would in,y invite one half of a coup,e to a christening, but perhaps your OHs ex is also invited and the parents don't want any awkwardness? If I were your OH I would graciously decline the invitation and tell them he'd go if it were the two of you but feels odd if he's the only one invited. Don't lose sleep over it, it's not a big deal.

The fact the invite came to your house is irrelevant.

I don't think it is. That they knew where to post the invite means they are up to date on the relationship. It means they'll know there's a baby on the way and that the couple have been together 2 years. He may have moved in at the start of the month, but this is not a new relationship, so an invite to the OH only is odd.

@DaisyYellow

Appreciate the responses. Gave me a bit of a reality check: should be more chilled re: stuff arriving in the post here for him. I've told him he must go - he's unsure as he's a little cross too.

I hear what you're saying about my DC, and will instead plan something fun with them.

Neither of our exes will be there, neither of us were ever the OW / OM.

I think it’s very odd and very rude. Impo
Get your dh to get the child a present, a book on social manners perhaps

My SIL has been with BIL almost 11 years and didn't get this up tight whe he was recently invited to a wedding without her...

Yes, I'm guessing if it was just you (and there is no OW back story) then you would be invited but they don't want to 'waste' invites on your kids. They assume he will come along and have fun and you'll stay home and look after your kids.

Do get him to do a passive aggressive 'Now I have to work out which one of you I prefer for our solo Christening invite'

I think the OP's upset because she's known them 3 years -longer than the relationship's existed, as it's two years duration - and though she knew they were closer to him, thought they were independently her friends, too. Yet they saw fit to hand deliver an invite through what understandably feels like her front door, him having only lived there two weeks, that asked him and excluded her.

I mean, that's the adult version of handing party invites out ostentatiously to The Chosen Ones in the playground. It's just rude. They could have texted him, saying they had a crunch on numbers, so sorry they could only invite him, really feel awful but hope he understands. Far less rude, frankly.

*I think the OP's upset because she's known them 3 years -longer than the relationship's existed, as it's two years duration - and though she knew they were closer to him, thought they were independently her friends, too. Yet they saw fit to hand deliver an invite through what understandably feels like her front door, him having only lived there two weeks, that asked him and excluded her.

I mean, that's the adult version of handing party invites out ostentatiously to The Chosen Ones in the playground. It's just rude. They could have texted him, saying they had a crunch on numbers, so sorry they could only invite him, really feel awful but hope he understands. Far less rude, frankly.*

@perfectstorm you have summarised EXACTLY how I felt / feel. I'm just not good at putting it in words quite so well.

I think you're overreacting. It's a friend's christening not your partner's brother's wedding. Sometimes people get mail just for them even in YOUR house.

It's always, always easier reading other people's situations and emotions than your own. You're too affected by it emotionally to parse it all out.

I'd be really upset, too. There's something about it being hand-delivered, too - if they've been over as guests in the past, and put that through the door physically, then there's a connection there that wouldn't exist if posted. I totally get it, and I don't think your hurt is unreasonable. Glad your DP gets it, too.

Perhaps they disapprove of you as a scarlet woman living in sin and expecting a child out of wedlock? As a man he is obviously not guilty of the above.

Is it a strict church?

It may be a space issue with your 2dc but 8 would assume you all come as a package.
Unless your DC have form for bad behaviour and the christening is for first time parents who have yet to discover the true delights of a toddler.

It's a friend's christening not your partner's brother's wedding.

It's funny how people are different. I'd be far more hurt by a friend excluding me, but inviting my DP by hand delivery to what they'd always known as my house, when it was a church hall get together after a baptism (so really cheap) than I would if his brother had a crunch on spaces at his wedding, and couldn't ask me. It's more plausible, costs-wise, and there isn't the independent relationship there.

I don't really get the upset on MN about not being asked to weddings, unless close to the bride and groom. This, I get, because the baptism's being arranged by her own friends, not just his.

Oh, now @ginburee has a great point. They may just not be able to ask four people (and they may not want loads of children there, either). That, I can understand. Four versus one really is into number crunch territory.

Totally understand space issue if there is one (although the church is local, and big, and it's not during a normal church service so doesn't include general church-going public). I've been invited to a couple of weddings / wedding receptions / after parties, with, and without, OH, as has he, since we've been together. We go individually or as a couple depending on the invitation. I would never go somewhere as a plus one that I haven't been specifically invited to.

I'm not against excluding kids from such a ceremony (although they are, essentially, what a baptism is about no?!).

I'm not outraged, I probably over reacted, but the way they done it - I think - is hurtful and insensitive. I thought we were closer than obviously they do. I'll get over it.

YANBU. It is a snub. I would be annoyed too. Are they worrying you will bring your DC too?