Undateables on Channel 4

[Jamellie]

Has anyone seen this?

What do you think about the whole concept of this series?

Had a discussion this morning about it and curious to know other people's views are... don't want to influence the thread so not posting what the discussion was about.... yet!

I think the issue I have is that there appears to be no middle ground between the body beautiful and the disabled when it comes to dating programmes.

Excellent point

Offtopic, I know, but I had no idea the term mentally disabled was now considered offensive! Could someone explain why? - it's good to keep an up to date knowledge of terminology when possible!!

As a disabled person myself, I feel it is good for raising awareness and they all seem to have a family member who advises and supports them.

From what I’ve seen it’s always been respectful and rooting for the participants, rather than mocking them for their disabilities and desires. They use real dating agencies with experience in matching people with disabilities and there seems to be decent safeguarding – the dates are chaperoned etc, and the family are all closely involved and excited for them to be dating.

I think when it first came out I heard the name and the concept and was a bit concerned it seemed exploitative, but I now think the title is trying to be ironic – subverting some people’s (misinformed) expectations of people with disabilities and showing that everyone deserves love and can find someone. However I can see why others might not be keen on it.

@SummerGems What the hell? It was simply to show I like to do "aww bless" at any happy endings! That's why I even mentionwd first dates!

You said ppl do "aww bless" at the newcouples bevause theyare disabled. My poist was to explain the do not. People do "aww bless" at happy endings no matter whose it is fgs.

85/100 for taking my post out of context. Nit bad, but could be better.

Wow. Apologies for the spelling!

The only issue I have is the title.

The characters and personalities they follow are so lovely, without exception, and very datable!

I find it heartwarming and a fresh breath of air from the shallow and materialistic dating shows around.

I get the impression that a lot of people who have said they are offended by the show haven’t actually seen it. I absolutely love it and find it completely heartwarming and have been in tears a few times seeing the relationships featured. It’s not just the romantic relationships that are lovely to watch but the daters relationships with their friend and families too. I was in tears seeing Sam, a dater with Down’s syndrome interacting with his dad. They had such a loving and heart warming relationship and the dad was so supportive.

Also it isn’t just disabled people on the show, quite a few dates have involved NT people too. First Dates also dispels the myth that dating shows only cover disabled or beautiful people, that show covers the entire spectrum of people.

'Ok if we take conditions which would impact on someone’s physical appearance out of the equation here though and factor in people who are not esthetically beautiful purely because they’re just not, iyswim or perhaps because they are morbidly obese due to no health conditions etc or any other reason, I think it’s fair to say that those people might find themselves in the less dateable category, and yet the programme doesn’t feature those.

Why not?'

Because the premise of the show is about how dating is more difficult for people with disabilities or other health conditions.

There was a guy on this weeks show who was drop dead gorgeous, had a masters and still found dating a challenge because wearing cochlear implants dented his confidence.

The show really isn't what some people here seem to think it is - pointing and laughing at people with learning disabilities.

@JudasPrudy I did see that episode (the first one I ever watched this morning) and agree that he was gorgeous

I think they actually present it in quite a sensitive way - it's never come across to me as being jokey or piss taking.

I love this show and I am always rooting for the participants, it is just so fantastic when they find love and companionship.

But I REALLY think it should not be called The Undatables - it is a terrible title and utterly misleading

My DP has a physical disability. I met him years ago before the show started and I have to say I was pretty shocked when I saw someone featured on the show with the same disability, it would never have occurred to me to see him as "undateable". It actually turned something I had just accepted in him into a bigger deal, I was wondering how other people viewed us, whether people thought I was some kind of martyr. We live a normal life!

I suppose I can see positives for people with learning disabilities however, as historically the idea of that group having romantic relations has been taboo. In fact I knew someone with Downs who fell for someone - this is going back to the 80s - and neither his nor her family allowed them to pursue it, they took steps to make sure they didn't see each other again. I knew this man 20 years later and he still talked about her. If it breaks down those assumptions then it is a good thing.

Room I understand what you mean by that I have a physical disability dh doesn't our life is just ordinary and probably a bit dull I see the programme as i said like first dates it is set up blind dates really☺

I am sorry all for using the wrong terminology i am sorry for any offence given as that was not my intention. I got too involved in arguing against it to not take my time to write it up properly.

(I should know better as i have Autism (Formerly called Asperger syndrome) and my children do as well I should of googled the proper terminology for what i was meaning and the NT was a miss spelling on my part).

I am ashamed at causing offense.

Autism wasn't previously called Asperger's syndrome. Asperger's is a type of Autism.

No need to feel shame at all you apologised and explained but you have very strong views on things and you need to think about how you say things

I know Autism was not called Asperger syndrome (I was diagnosed at at age 7 having Aspergers) it is just that the term Asperger has now been abolished and put under the umbrella term of Autism

Sorry again i will shut up now I cannot edit my message to make it clear i meant the term aspegers has now not being used.

Aah, apologies then worridmum, I misread what you had written.

truffleshuffles I remember Sam and his dad. They had such a wonderful relationship, the dad was a lovely, lovely man, I had a bit of a crush on him tbh.

I think like most of channel fours things , it's exploitative.

Aspergers is still used worriedmum

Don't worry about it worrid you're right about the use of autism now, you have not offended anybody.